Like a genital Herpes virus that lies dormant for a spell before reasserting itself at awkward moments in an outbreak of ragged penile lesions or vaginal discharge, cartoonist Ted Rall manages to crash univited into the parlor of civilized cultural discourse from time to time, whereupon he immediately insults the hostess and dips his grubby fingers directly into the clam dip.
This is one of those times.
But of course, DON’T YOU DARE QUESTION HIS WEEPY-SORED, SOCIALLY RETARDED PATRIOTISM!
(h/t Terry Hastings; from the archives)
****
update: More from Michelle Malkin and Conservative Dialysis
Ted Rall: Like Smegma to Comedy
Remember when he put the words “Wait, I still get to kill Arabs, right?” in Pat Tillman’s mouth? Hilarious.
Oh God, Jeff. That’s purdy.
Ain’t gonna look. It’d just encourage him, as all he’s looking for is attention.
But I’ll take a guess—it involves the WP lie.
The desperate cry of a basement-inhabiting dope fiend who has just come to the stomach-punching realization that he is incapable of becoming the man his father is. At least that’s what my DSM-IV says.
Generically, of course. Neither I nor the DSM have any idea of the kind of man Ted Rall’s father is/was or even, rather than having a father, if he was instead spawned by hellfish in the River Styx.
Mojo,
That’s an obvious shot at me as it is well known that I own all rights to the word “smegma” as well as “shmegma” and the more yiddish “schmegma voyman!”
Good plan, Robert.
Stupidly, I made the mistake of clicking over.
Thankfully I have an empty stomach.
Oh, and I like to keep a nice supply of Ted Rall cartoons next to the “man-terlet”. If you crinkle them up they become soft and absorbent and any kind of shit will stick to them. Even the post-oatmeal/Mrs. Butterworths kind.
FYI
What a vile waste of genetic material he is. Now I have to go clean bile and turkey bits off my keyboard.
I not only question his patriotism, I question the man’s sanity.
Anyone know where he’s still being published? Men’s Health Magazine finally purged him, any other major publications feeding this lunatic?
What if he were published on the Quilted Northern?
Hmmmmm……..
Not lookin’, can’t make me!
“The desperate cry of a basement-inhabiting dope fiend who has just come to the stomach-punching realization that he is incapable of becoming the man his father is.”
Oh! and he’s wearing pajamas too!
Oooh, that Ted Rall! He’s so transgressive!
Holy Shit. Is that for real?
Ain’t gonna look. It’d just encourage him, as all he’s looking for is attention…But I’ll take a guessâ€â€it involves the WP lie.
Nuh-uh. Guess again. Rall ain’t never, ever been this hateful, this corrosive, this batshit insane. “Terror Widows”? Nope. The Pat Tillman thing? Not even close.
Where did this come from, anyway? His latest floozie must’ve run off with some soldier, and this is his way of working through the pain.
He’s asking for attention. Begging for it. I’m not going to bump his hit counter.
You should look, Robert. It’s pretty damn bad even for Rall.
I think Jeff is dangerously close to the truth. Ted recently contracted herpes following a “glory-hole” session at a public restroom. Now he’s indiscriminately firing the shit cannon.
You know what? I actually chuckled at that one. Obviously, not out of agreement with his portrayal. But he’s so obviously around-the-bend, it’s now humorous. Yes, there are people who actually agree with him, but they are a minority in this country. I’m sure he thinks that he is making a difference with his ‘toons. But there can’t be anyone who is in anyway ambivilant about the war who would be swayed by this.
Let him rant. It’s like watching a loony chimp, flinging his shit all over the place, only to wind up eating it at the end. He feels satisfied, and we get a free freakshow.
What a vile and unhinged little man. If he were on fire, I would not piss on him to extinguish the flames.
TW, special, as in “isn’t that special”
They are a minority, but not so small as we’d like to think.
If Rall’s opinions were not accepted by the majority on the left, he’d be reduced to his own weblog. Instead, he’s a syndicated cartoonist AND columnist. He has an audience large enough to sell papers and web ads, consistent enough to warrant the heat the syndicate takes from the sane portion of the population.
No, I won’t look. Maybe this evening, when I’m not at work and can properly (and vocally) vent.
”…if he was instead spawned by hellfish in the River Styx.”
Naah. That could actually be kind of cool, depending on whether he had razor fins or acid gills or something.
Rall’s just vaguely sad.
“Yes, there are people who actually agree with him, but they are a minority in this country.”
Who would imagine that returning soldiers have mental health issues? a minority, that’s who.
Unfortunately this minority edits all our major newspapers and newsmags, produces almost all of the tv “news”, and possesses 40% or so of the seats in congress.
…and, now having actually seen the comic, by ‘vaguely sad’ I meant ‘three stages below whale poop’.
The best thing one could do is turn some bad-assed lady Marines loose on this despicable piece of excrement….watch the little traitor piss his pants when the Marine amazons laugh at the cowards(Rall’s) lack of manliness.(better yet…..just shoot the bastard)
I looked at the piece of filth just so I could address actus. Now I need to shower.
For actus:
Just what the fuck does your comment have to do with the Ted Rall cartoon?
Oh, and this is just more data for my theory that “it’ll be another Vietnam” is a threat, not a prediction. Now they’re beginning the “Iraq Vets are mentally unstable” crap they used to slander the Vietnam Vets.
“Anyone know where he’s still being published?”
Sadly, in Mad Magazine every month. So if anyone were planning to buy a subscription for the nephew for Christmas, you may want to seek a gift elsewhere.
Ted Rall is a vile piece of trash. He makes me want to become one of the goose-stepping automaton Bush supporters who inhabit his cartoon fantasy world, just to spite his sorry, miserable ass. What an utter slimebag.
I wondered if any of the lefties who frequent this site would actually be vile enough to defend this “cartoon”.
Congratulations, actus! You’ve really distinguished yourself.
That is his vilest yet. Why on earth does Yahoo give him a forum?
Their TOS for members:
However, it is quite all right for Yahoo News to host this abusive, harassing, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, hateful, and otherwise objectionable “art”.
I know the days are gone when members of the military took matters into their own hands over this kind of libellous crap. But I have to admit that I feel a bit wistful about that fact.
But I do hope this cartoon follows him around for the rest of his life. Even people who don’t support the war may find it distasteful enough that he’ll lose some more opportunities over this. That’s all I ask.
So uh, I guess it’s officially OK to smear and attack the troops personally now? I mean, since the WP “trial balloon” went over so well why not go full-bore? Who didn’t learn their Vietnam lessons now?
And making fun of them is just SOOOO funny, isn’t it, actus?
Wanna bet?
Anyone want to check Goofy Willis to see if he’s offended by this, or are we just supposed to blame the military for seducing our children and turning them into psychopathic nonwhite-nonChristian-nonheterosexual-nonpatriarchal killing machines? Also, where’d he get the jet from (frame four) – can you rent them someplace or is Ted subtly implying that the guy in the comic is really hallucinating the whole thing? Boy is Rall deep…
Robert Crawford: “Just what the fuck does your comment have to do with the Ted Rall cartoon?”
I think the cartoon talks about how messed up returning soldiers are. Ie, how mental. Of course, he deals in hyperbole. No-one actually thinks that veterans are going to use planes to bomb their ex’s.
“And making fun of them is just SOOOO funny, isn’t it, actus?”
The cartoon made me give a sad and despondent “hrmph”. I don’t know about you.
What a dork – he drew an F-4 Phantom.
I interpret Rall’s splattered shit-stain as follows:
The fictional soldier represents the US and the girl – a country of interest. The parents – the U.N. When the US can no longer get the valuable resources from the country of interest, they wipe them off the map.
It’s kinda like the US being this big bloated perv and the country of interest is this chubby intern. The US extends its hand of friendship by blowing a big wad of splagoozle all over the intern’s dress, only to claim that he never had sex on that woman. Then the US drops some bombs somewhere.
Or the US is this huge-headed drunken sot of a Noreasterner. The needy country is a nice girl out on a date. The US pressures the country to give up it’s goods and when satisfied, drives her off of a bridge and leaves her there to drown. The US then sneaks back to the comfort of its own bed – living to run another day.
If you really hate the US, all these scenarios could wind up on your cartoon.
And Actus, to imply that Rall is anything other than a booger-eating moron, is just…….well……….
…..why don’t you just have yourself another booger and shut up.
Worse yet he got the wings and the intakes all wrong
actus,
Oh, I get it now. He’s really commenting on the sad lack of mental health care for returning veterans. And here I thought he was just dealing with his burning envy that veterans were getting to experience this “sex” thing he’s been hearing about since puberty. What, do you need a decoder ring to get the real message?
BRD,
Phantom… yeah I was about to say Voodoo. Either way it shows the total disconect this ass wipw has with the real military. It has to be remembered how so many of the left base thier perception, knowledge, facts of the military on disinformation spouted by the know nothings of Holywood and the MSM.
That is, since the ‘70s it has been a self feeding perpetuating hate machine of what the military is and does. They have no touch of reality.
Wow. Rall really is a few degrees around the bend.
I think he’ll keep going further and further, since it appears his audience is shrinking (ie. getting scrubbed off that Men’s mag). Eventually he’ll end up only in “alternative” fishwrappers in San Fran and maybe Berkely or Madison.
Ted Rall simply must be a Manchurian cartoonist for the right. The several reasonable people still on the left must puke a little into their mouths every time Rall comes out with a new cartoon to affirm all the worst things we conservatives think about them.
Please, someone put this idiot’s doodles on CNN!!!
“And here I thought he was just dealing with his burning envy that veterans were getting to experience this “sex†thing he’s been hearing about since puberty.”
Oh. I don’t think that cartoon says that soldiers are sexually inexperienced. Just that their sexual experiences upon return are going to be messed up.
I think the cartoon says more about how messed up the anti-war crowd is.
Meh. I’m not impressed.
I was apalled by his Pat Tillman cartoon, and later, managed to be shaken by his racist jabs at Condi, but I’m no longer shocked or offended by what Rall does anymore. It’s kinda boring, really. Dude hates America. What else is new?
I hope the NYT and WaPo run this, though. Let the rest of the country see what the extreme left really thinks. That doesn’t scare me at all. Bet it scares the editors of the NYT and WaPo, though.
Wow.
actus,
Really? Do tell…
So actus,
A volunteer comes home with his head held high, having served the country he loves, in a cause he believes, and that little doosh-nozzle Ted Rall (and the like) spits on him and you think that’s going to cause him sexual dysfunction?
I think it is a good idea to get as many people as possible to see this. If the left claims soldiers had not been spit on before, they surely would have some ‘splain’n to do with this kind of filth out there.
Post it. Post it far and wide… let the winds spread the crap to all corners. And we will not make our own paradies. Such would only create an out. Let his own words speak for themself.
My new favorite word.
Ted who?
Turing: simple, as in “Actus, you are such a simpleton”.
actus, how do you know this? How do you know that Ted Rall meant this? Do you really think no one else is aware of this potential problem? And, to the point, just how does Ted Rall use his so-called skills to communicate this potential problem to his readers such that they might address it effectively should they come across it?
In other words, is Ted Rall being a part of the solution, and not a part of the problem?
Answer: Hell no!
Now, stop being obtuse. You may think it’s coy and cute, but it just highlights your idiocy in supporting Ted Rall.
actus plays the “innocent troll” role pretty well.
As I recall Bill Watterson, creator of Calvin and Hobbes, used to do a fairly creditible job when he drew fighter jets – if memory serves, he did a decent F-4. But then again, he took some pride in his work as an artist.
In re: Voodoo v. Phantom – tough call. It doesn’t look like there are any intakes at all, the wing shape doesn’t match, and the tail is all loused up.
But hey, at least it’s got wings.
If Ramsey Clark and Eleanor Clift had a kid, it would draw like Rall and reason like actus.
alppuccino “A volunteer comes home with his head held high, having served the country he loves, in a cause he believes, and that little doosh-nozzle Ted Rall (and the like) spits on him and you think that’s going to cause him sexual dysfunction?”
I think that it means that there are mental health effects upon the intimate relationships that returning soldiers have.
of course, its told with hyperbole.
I don’t think where you get the idea that ted ralls cartoon is going to cause sexual dysfunction.
The_Real_JeffS:
“actus, how do you know this? How do you know that Ted Rall meant this? Do you really think no one else is aware of this potential problem”
It looks to me to be pretty clearly about being messed up by war. A common theme.
“And, to the point, just how does Ted Rall use his so-called skills to communicate this potential problem to his readers such that they might address it effectively should they come across it?”
I guess he could write comments on blogs.
“Now, stop being obtuse. You may think it’s coy and cute, but it just highlights your idiocy in supporting Ted Rall.”
Who says its support? Its just interpretation. He’s obviously not makign his point well, because all of you geniuses are missing it. And you’re exactly the sorts that need convincing right?
“I don’t think where you get the idea that ted ralls cartoon is going to cause sexual dysfunction.”
Oops. That should be “I don’t know where you get the idea…”
“Okay actus, here’s your stop. Now close that laptop and get off the bus!! I’ve got 20 other children to get home before 3:30.”
actus,
Please try to explain it to us simpletons, because that tack works so well for you Chuck-Jones-animated-matador-looking-down-your-nose crowd members. It will go over particularly well with those currently in uniform…trust me.
“Dammit actus!! You left your Darth Vader cloak on the bus again! And quit wiping your boogers on the damn seat!!!”
I sincerly hope this is not an honest response.
I do not have the patience to explain this in the detail it would obviously require if it is. In any case, it’s one thing to show veterans returning having trouble adjusting in a favorable and sympathetic light. Another thing entirely to show them as monsters joyously continuing their reign of terror on their loved ones. Our veterans are having trouble. Divorce rates are skyrocketing. Returned combat troops are doing dangerous, reckless activities to approximate the feeling of being in a combat zone, illogical as that sounds. Domestic abuse is on the rise. But this is far from the majority, or even a substantial minority. Most come back like my brother in 1991, speaking little, and reluctant to talk about their experiences, gradually adjusting and moving on. Rall had no intention of helping or pointing out a problem. He shows the troops as murdering, torturing, lawless animals. I imagine it helps him feel powerful enough to sleep at night as the doubts about his manhood knaw at his weak little soul.
“Please try to explain it to us simpletons, because that tack works so well for you Chuck-Jones-animated-matador-looking-down-your-nose crowd members.”
Explain what? I already told what I think the cartoon is about: mental health issues of returning from war.
“ It will go over particularly well with those currently in uniform…trust me.”
I’m worried I might hurt their feelings.
“Rall had no intention of helping or pointing out a problem.”
I disagree, see:
“He shows the troops as murdering, torturing, lawless animals”
I think murdering, torturing lawless animals are a problem.
actus,
Your giving him too much credit. He [Rall] belives our soldiers are sick murder loving creeps who abuse women and equate torture with sexual pleasure. It has nothing to do with “comming home” it has everything, in his mind, to painting the american military in shame and create the impression that only a sick fuck would ever even join the military anyway.
Ah! It looks like that to you. Because it’s a common theme, doubtless on TV and in the papers. Or political cartoons.
Your comments sounds like hearsay to me.
I know that returning vets have problems, actus. But Rall is not only exaggerating the problem, he is displaying his nearly total ignorance of anything military.
Pot, meet kettle. The irony is indeed deep, given my question, and your attempt at sarcasm.
Ah, it’s interpretation, that’s all! You merely interpret Ted Rall for us. That you take the position of devil’s advocate, to the point of being stupidly obtuse in “interpreting” Ted Rall’s “art” away from the point of this post is merely coincidence. Right?
I’m sending a copy of this to all of my e-mail friends. The wider the exposure of this type of crap the better–make Ted Rall the poster child for the democrat “hate-America” crowd.
Ted Rall, son of John Kerry and the Democratic Party:
[U.S. soldiers] raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam in addition to the normal ravage of war, and the normal and very particular ravaging which is done by the applied bombing power of this country.
John Kerry’s Senate Testimony on the [phony] Winter Soldier investigation.
Actus,
Tone down on the Patchouli dude. I’m sure the hippie chicks know you’re one of them.
T/W: Boggles, “It boggles the mind that Actus was not a victim of infanticide.”
Are you sure he wasn’t?
The_Real_JeffS: “That you take the position of devil’s advocate, to the point of being stupidly obtuse in “interpreting†Ted Rall’s “art†away from the point of this post is merely coincidence. Right?”
Its not my fault you’re wrong.
I’m curious to know how many blogs on the left who link Rall are going to de-link Rall for this.
Any wagers? Anyone willing to say “more than zero?”
And so, we finally have actus completely unmasking as a military hating git. What’s next? Going down to the USO to spit on some of those animals? Or are you just going wear black Che tees, smoke clove cigs, and sneer a great deal? Lame, lamer, lamest.
Wishbone, don’t forget the heavy musk of Patchouli.
In the immortal words of geometry teachers everywhere, natesnake–“Assumed.”
Like Rall, actus just wants attention.
Deprive it of that, and it’s just like cutting off its oxygen supply. If you are ever tempted to respond to it beyond a dismissive line or two, just imagine it flailing around, ineffectually screaming, eyes bulging, face red…but inaudible because he’s behind one way glass in a secure facility designed for the study of the mentally ill. Because that’s the effect ignoring these trolls has.
It’s a beautiful thing.
I detect high irony in Rall portraying returning troops to be as screwed up as he is. Project much, Ted??
But that’s probably not the intended message.
When it comes to explaining the mindset, beliefs and motivations of Ted Rall, I could write for hundred years and never come close to beating the Master.
<a href=”https://www.proteinwisdom.com/index.php/weblog/entry/ted_ralls_internal_monologue/” target=”_blank”>
I bow in humility.
SWEET NEO CON
(M. Jagger/K. Richards)
You call yourself a Christian
I think that you’re a hypocrite
You say you are a patriot
I think that you’re a crock of shit
And listen, I love gasoline
I drink it every day
But it’s getting very pricey
And who is going to pay
How come you’re so wrong
My sweet neo con…. Yeah
It’s liberty for all
‘Cause democracy’s our style
Unless you are against us
Then it’s prison without trial
But one thing that is certain
Life is good at Haliburton
If you’re really so astute
You should invest at Brown & Root…. Yeah
How come you’re so wrong
My sweet neo con
If you turn out right
I’ll eat my hat tonight
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah….
It’s getting very scary
Yes, I’m frightened out of my wits
There’s bombers in my bedroom
Yeah and it’s giving me the shits
We must have loads more bases
To protect us from our foes
Who needs these foolish friendships
We’re going it alone
How come you’re so wrong
My sweet neo con
Where’s the money gone
In the Pentagon
Yeah ha ha ha
Yeah, well, well
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…
Neo con
SWEET NEO CON
(M. Jagger/K. Richards)
You call yourself a Christian
I think that you’re a hypocrite
You say you are a patriot
I think that you’re a crock of shit
And listen, I love gasoline
I drink it every day
But it’s getting very pricey
And who is going to pay
How come you’re so wrong
My sweet neo con…. Yeah
It’s liberty for all
‘Cause democracy’s our style
Unless you are against us
Then it’s prison without trial
But one thing that is certain
Life is good at Haliburton
If you’re really so astute
You should invest at Brown & Root…. Yeah
How come you’re so wrong
My sweet neo con
If you turn out right
I’ll eat my hat tonight
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah….
It’s getting very scary
Yes, I’m frightened out of my wits
There’s bombers in my bedroom
Yeah and it’s giving me the shits
We must have loads more bases
To protect us from our foes
Who needs these foolish friendships
We’re going it alone
How come you’re so wrong
My sweet neo con
Where’s the money gone
In the Pentagon
Yeah ha ha ha
Yeah, well, well
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah…
Neo con
EVE OF DESTRUCTION
(Barry Mcguire)
Link
Was that FREE MUMIA or FRY MUMIA??
Astigmatism.
TW: four, as in FOUR eyes. Don’t make fun of glasses around here, that’s dangerous.
Red Tall is a suck fick for notoriety. And Jagger, Inc. whores sixties politics for $. Their leftism for fame and profit proves they’re just part of the Machine, man. What tools.
The term ‘worse than useless’ would have to be defined as something actively dangerous or harmful, correct?
Rall is far worse than useless.
Precisely. He’s already been banned on my blog – none of his keyboard-based methane is making it to my comment pages (although plenty of other of his, uh, “stuff” is (snicker)), so I s’pose the little shit has to go somewhere to air his little temper tantrums. (guffaw)
Precisely. He’s already been banned on my blog – none of his keyboard-based methane is making it to my comment pages (although plenty of other of his, uh, “stuff” is (snicker)), so I s’pose the little shit has to go somewhere to air his little temper tantrums. (guffaw)
Perhaps actus is Rall incognito, i.e. a sockpuppet.
Well, I guess the “sockpuppet” comparison WOULD explain the whole “hand up his dirt chute” thingy.
…not that there’s anything…WRONG…with that, y’know?
TW – “during”. Little Teddy Rall must have eaten a whole lot of lead paint chips DURING his childhood.
Australia has one of these. He’s called Bill Leak. Not quite in the ‘completely fucking batchit crazy’ mould as Rall, but a generic moron nonetheless.
Must be something in the lead pencils.
Okay, I couldn’t resist. I had to go look.
I don’t think Ted Rall was talking about what our soldiers are going to be like when they come home. That would require some experience with higher order thinking, and quite frankly from what we see in his drawings, he’s not capable of that. Nope, he was portraying our soldiers as he wants us really really ignorant peasants to be picturing them as they fight in Iraq.
He’s a bug.
Also a bug with very little artistic talent. Do you mean to tell me that there are people out there who are actually paying him for his scribbles? This is the best they can find??? Big blank spaces in the midst of overcrowded little scribbles. Broken lines. No shading. No depth. No perspective. How can they possible put his droppings on the same pages with those other political cartoonists who have, you know, talent? Do publishers have no shame?
I believe the LA Times still publishes the little panty stain in their editorial section.
As for the “deranged Iraqi vet” shtick, Dick Wolf has already run with it on Law & Order, IIRC.
I had to click on the previous link as the comic I saw didn’t match what the commenters were talking about. The current one is stupid, poorly drawn, etc. but wasn’t as gob-smackingly vile as I expected. The previous one, i.e., Iraqi Vets, definitely is though.
For the current one, i.e., Home with the Moores, that trip to the fat farm really worked. I didn’t read the title and had no idea it was supposed to be Michael Moore. Sure the dialog suggested that but the guy in the recliner is way too small to be Michael Moore. Man, Rall’s artwork really sucks.
TW: study, as in what I should be doing instead of surfing the Internet.
He’s already been banned on my blog
Being banned on your blog is the liberal equivalent of a Bronze Star. Everybody worth his salt has it on his resume because you’re such a weenie at actually dealing with criticism.
Oh, hey, <a href=”http://www.mykeru.com/retribution/spatula/”Mike says hi</a>, blowhard.
I really need to preview these things.
Mike says hi, blowhard.
” He’s already been banned on my blog – none of his keyboard-based methane is making it to my comment pages”
Who hasn’t dude? It don’t make creationism or ID any less of a fairy tale that its not said to your face.
Girls, take it elsewhere.
I guess ONLY YOU would be able to get inside Rall’s head, wouldn’t you, actus? You fucking idiot, it isn’t social commentary on “being messed up by war.”
Rall, PLAIN AND SIMPLE: The troops are all a bunch of inhumane sociopaths–oh, and fools and/or idiots, too. Otherwise, they’d be fighting for the enemy like I do!
actus, PLAIN AND SIMPLE: Oh, but he cares about their well-being!
Fuck “obtuse,” actus. You’re just a goddamned idiot. I can see clearly why Spats would ban your idiotarian waste-of-bandwidth ass, and I’ll bet “creationism or ID” has nothing to do with it.
Rall really is batshit crazy. About a year ago I found an old article he had written about having a mental disorder. Why not just start publishing the scribbles of Ted Kaczynski, John Wayne Gacy, etc.? Y’know, since publishing lunatics is so hip these days. (See also: Mother She-man and her merry band of liars.)
Here’s the revised link to Ted Rall’s graphic demonstration of the highest form of patriotism.
Feel the love.