Merrick: “I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!”
Me: “Let me ask you this, John: if, hypothetically, you were seated on a plane next to an unaccompanied child, and the flight attendant came over and demanded that you change seats—as a matter of policy, and out of fear that someone of your kind might sexually abuse said child—would you be terribly offended?”
Merrick: “– I AM A HUMAN BEING!”
Me: “Yeah, I don’t blame you. I would be, too.”*
Me: “…Unless of course you weren’t wearing your head sack. Then all bets are off.”
I wouldn’t mind sitting behind Merrick on a plane flight. He wouldn’t be able to recline his seat back into my lap, for fear of choking (which is how he actually died, btw). Plus, his enormous head would block my view of the invariably unentertaining in-flight movie.
DISABLEDAPHOBE!
John Merrick died by reclining his seat on an airplane until he choked?!?
So the seats actually reclined? Damn, everything about air travel was better back then.
TW: age
For the record, Merrick likes to play catcher as well.
I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE! I AM MERELY A MIDGET-AMPUTEE FETISHIST!
Black or sort of that gauzy look, Jeff? Shoulder length? Head-hugging or more of a softly concealing look?
Think nuance.
Hmmm… given the string of news stories lately, I’d think that they’d want to ask women sitting next to unaccompanied children whether they’re school teachers… and ask them to move if they said yes.
Which is better?
New episodes of ATHF
vs.
New season of Ghost in the Shell
Wouldn’t flying be better if everyone had to wear a head sack?
No screaming babies
No mindless mouseketeer chattering away in the next seat
No ugly hag of a flight attendant to bother you.
Head sacks and earplugs. It could make flying tolerable again.
New episodes of ATHF + No more episodes of the Boondocks.
These are my demands, Cartoon Network. No negotiations.
Sure, it seems like overreaction but you can’t be too careful when it comes to patriarchy! Jeez, men are bad.
No, they’re so hunky and smell so good and…no, they’re bad. Really.
Speaking of the death of the West and all, did you see this article?
Patricia:
That page comes up 404 when I try it. Summary, please?
Turing = work, as in It didn’t work.
As a father and a person who kinda, in a set situation, loves kids, I gotta say, why?
My wife and I point at the dash board for the mythical 1/2 dozen of this and 6 of that reasoning to decide where to go.
Bottom line, bureaucrats gotta problem. Little boys and little dicks. Yeah, and they are gonna save the “children”.
I don’t mind the head sack so much – it’s the slurping sounds coming from under it that I object to.
http://www.thewvsr.com/headsack.htm
Now this is just pointlessly, head sackingly flaccid…
http://www.bloggerheads.com/sack_bush.asp
Yes indeed, a bag on a statue communicates the gravity of the current situation in Iraq, just as floating plastic bags in trees communicates monetary theory.
I’ve got animal magnetism.
Not the kind that gets women streaming toward me. Dogs love me. But they’re easy.
Cats have crossed streets to rub up against my legs. I’ve had 3, 4 and 5 cats follow me down sidewalks. Little kids are draw to me too.
In public places toddlers have seen me, pointed at me and yelled Dadd-eeey! Once on a first date.
From strollers and shopping carts little ones goo-goo and smile at me.
When I smile back Moms DO NOT LIKE IT.
So I don’t anymore.
I am a man.
I am an animal.
They can also take the bag off if you pass out from a lack of oxygen.
tw: couldn’t-> as in make this shit up
JOOOO NUTSACK!!!!
STINKY FAT LADY WEARING CLOTHES FROM BIG LOTS!!!!
BLACK GUY!!!!
UGLY MIDGET!! UGLY MIDGET!!
………uh, stewardess, could you please move this Tourettes guy to another seat?
Sir, I’m a flight attendant! Got it?
I AM NOT A NEOCON RACIST!
Stephen M.–
That has got to be one of the saddest things I’ve read in a long time.
Can’t get the hang of links here.
http://www.haaretz.com/hasen/spages/646938.html
The article is in Haaretz, an interview with French Jewish philosopher Alain Finkielkraut about the failure of multiculturalism in France… and everywhere. He’s not too optimistic about the future.
What if Merrick wore a dress?
T/W: because, “Because transvestites are human beings too!â€Â
Why do I get the feeling that they would only make straight men move? An obviously gay man would be left strictly alone, because they wouldn’t want to reinforce negative stereotypes of them.
I was wondering why Merrick was getting so shrill… it’s because of the testosterone
Males have been on the defensive for more than 25 years, so we shouldn’t be too surprised with this. It’s not fashionable to be male. And it’s all part and parcel of the emasculation of western society. Traditional male virtues like strength, leadership and courage are no longer held in esteem. In our efforts to address certain excesses, we’ve tossed the baby out with the bath water.
A friend of mine, while at the University in his early 20s, hated going to English class because of the rabid anti-male attitude of the professor. More and more, his class resembled one great big session of marxist self-flagellation.
You’ll notice recent figures suggest that males are going to college in fewer numbers: roughly 60% of the students today are female, only 42% male. Males seem to be going directly into business to avoid the bullshit. And our society is losing the benefit of all of men’s vital virtues. As Camille Paglia once said (I’m paraphrasing): “If it were up to women, we’d all be living in grass huts…”
That was hilarious Jeff. An observation: I’m afraid he would bogart all the peanuts handed out.
I will have to disagree with Attila Girl.
StephenM.,
I find that charming. If dogs and cats naturally love you then you must have quite the aura. But if children love you on sight, well then, women should take notice. The aura must be practically pulsating.
ahem,
The interesting thing about the anti-male college atmosphere is that it ends up working against all the empowered grrrls now favored in the academy. I’m not the first one to mention it, but with men leaving college in droves, the result will be that college is considered less relevant and more a frivolous “girl” thing incresasingly detatched from the real world.
Russell,
We can only hope you are the last one to mention it.
But Sparkle!
What would it be like to have children smiling at you, and to be unable to smile back, because you’re male, and the mothers get pissy if you smile back?
And what is it like to be the child, and to smile at the nice man, but get no response but a stony face–because men aren’t supposed to interact with children in public places?
It’s horrifying.
Ah, well I see your point.
I thought you meant that it was sad that he was the way he was. My bad.
I would think the fathers would have more of a negative reaction to their kids yelling “Dadd-eeey!” at another man.
Then again, if the other man were, like, short, pudgy and bald or something…
No, that could still be a problem:
“When she was born you said she looked just like her daddy, and there she is yelling ‘Dadd-eeey!’ at George freakin’ Constanza! What do you expect me to think!!??”