Yes, the nightmare continues.
This time, though, shit just got real, as they say. Without going too much into depth about it, my younger brother, who is a world class piece of garbage, sold our family home in Baltimore, sold most of our belongings that he didn’t load into a truck, put the rest in a dumpster, stored some of my mother’s belongings in a storage facility (paid for two months, then abandoned), and moved to Florida without leaving anyone a forwarding address. All of which I’ve heard from either neighbors or other family members.
My brother is 44; until about 4 months ago he’d never lived anywhere but our family home in Randallstown. He was living with my mother, who had taken in tenants to supplement income (even though the house was owned outright), and he didn’t pay a cent for rent that I know of. Ever. His entire life. He works as a waiter — or rather he did (since he’s been down in Florida he’s been jobless) — but he took the money from the sale of the house, about $165K, left it to a friend of my sister’s to find my mother an assisted living facility, and high-tailed it down to St Petersburg. Since my mother has had multiple surgeries on her legs, she’s essentially had to rely on my brother for anything requiring mobility, and as a quid pro quo, he convinced her to give him power of attorney over her affairs. I warned her against this when I found out — as did others — but she was, I suppose, essentially dependent on him after my father passed away in 2010, so he didn’t listen. She was, in essence, captive — but because she was mentally competent there wasn’t much that anyone could do about it.
Anyway, long story short, using power of attorney, he emptied all her accounts, took the proceeds from the house sale, cashed out her life insurance policy right after my father died (or at least canceled it; not sure if there was money from that to be had), and has had my father’s pension — which was to go to my mother monthly — diverted to him. He also took something between $9-$19K in bonds and we don’t know what’s become of the $70K from my father’s life insurance policy. More, he was supposed to have paid up front for future funeral services with money from my father’s life insurance policy; we learned yesterday that that hadn’t been done, either.
I’m mostly estranged from my family in MD — largely because my mother wouldn’t listen to warnings about my brother and what I believed was a form of elderly abuse — so I gave up after awhile and I’ve tried to stay out of the whole mess: let them each get what they deserve, I figured. But now my mother is living with two other women in an assisted care facility with a 9 PM lights out curfew, and her caregivers missed an infection in her leg that brought her to the hospital two nights again. Her Social Security check goes to pay for the facility, leaving her with about $22 per month in spending money. And I can’t abide that. Particularly now, as she’s been hospitalized and I was just informed that they’ve found spots on her lungs and on her adrenal gland (biopsy tomorrow, but I’m fairly certain, as are the doctors, that it’s cancer and that it’s spread). Which, yeah, that info should probably have been in the lede. Sue me.
My mother says the agreement she made with my brother, whose goes, ludicrously and embarrassingly, by “Goldie” often times, was that he would pay her bills and provide her with monthly money (she fucked up, she trusted him!), using the proceeds from the house sale (as some of you may recall, I offered to buy the house and restore it, but he turned me down; the last time I saw it it wasn’t fit for a hoarding cat lady to live in, but there was no chance he was going to put any work into it. He paid a friend of mine to fix it just enough to pass inspection); instead, he purchased a condo in Florida and a new car (rumor has it) — both outright — and hasn’t been paying a dime to my mother of late. Other friends and relatives have been paying for her to go play BINGO, or get a sandwich out. “She doesn’t need her nails done,” my brother told our cousins, who’ve been helping out, when they called about a car insurance payment that was due. Or,”she doesn’t need a haircut. Mind your own fucking business.” Etc.
I was contacted about all this a few days back and since then I’ve gone through the Maryland Department of Health and Human Services, who referred me to a detective who is now on the case. What we’re looking at, beside theft and perhaps wire fraud for the pension transfer, is misappropriation of funds by fiduciary. I’ve arranged for power of attorney to be changed this afternoon by paying for a mobile notary to travel to her hospital room and by having my cousins download and fill out forms from the office of the attorney general of MD. I’ve also given my them, because they live down the street from my mother and who have been helping her with money and company, and because I trust them, medical power of attorney. I’ve located my brother — who bragged about not giving his address to anyone — by duping him on the phone: I called and offered to pay for my mother’s car insurance, which I learned was in arrears, and during that conversation got just enough information out of the greedy bastard (he smelled money and like a rat he bit) to find out what county he was in, after which a property search gave me his address.
Since he found out that I know where he’s living and that he’s under criminal investigation, he’s been trying to get the routing number and account number for my mother’s (empty) checking account, hoping to stuff some money back in to suggest he’s been exercising his power of attorney faithfully. Now, I’m no detective, but it seems to me that had he EVER planned on sending her money, this is information he’d already have. From what I understand from the detective, they can subpoena all my mother’s accounts and find out where the money went by following that trail.
In addition to being an embezzling, low-life taint, he’s also been making physical threats to my cousins and my sister. Me, I blocked his number long ago, and the last time I saw him, when I was home for my reunion, it was all I could do to keep from getting locked up. Fortunately, he ran. Because I’m not a woman he can throw a punch at.
So. There it is. We’re not quite settled into the new house yet, but it looks like I’ll be embroiled in an ugly legal battle with my piece of shit brother as my mother faces what may be terminal cancer. Doing that all from Colorado might prove difficult, so I suspect I’ll be forced to take a few trips to the People’s Republic of Baltimore — where there’s a good chance I’ll be arrested for accidentally elbowing my brother in his jaw repeatedly (note: somewhere in California, somebody just did a screen cap of this particular sentence). It is what it is.
It’s all been a whirlwind. And now the breeze is picking up yet again.
Apologies for my extended absence. And apologies for the personal stuff some of you don’t like to read on a “political blog.” But this is my space. So if you don’t want to read it, skip over it. I’m sure Obama’s done something douchey today that will keep you entertained.
As for me, I’m stressed beyond the breaking point. So if you have it in you, send along your best good vibes. I can certainly use them right now.
UPDATE: power of attorney has been changed and notarized. My cousin and aunt are also going to file for guardianship of my mother. I’ve counseled both my cousin and my sister to file for temporary protection orders against my brother based on his texted threats so that he can’t reach my mother while they’re around without risking arrest should he do as he says and come up from Florida to try to manipulate my mother yet again.
He also told me his attorney has me “on harassment, slander, and fraud,” and that they are “coming after me financially” — all of which info I’m passing on to the Detective, who is out of town until Thursday.
As many of you know, I’m not one of these people who shrinks from a fight. So best of luck to the plump little asshole.
Lucky you: your brother is a sociopath. A 4-percenter.
Piece of work doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Sorry to hear you’re related to someone like that. Throw the book at him, and if that doesn’t work, a right hook should do it.
Some people just need a good beating.
You are getting nothing but good vibes from me. While it has yet to deteriorate to your levels, I have not one, but three siblings mooching off the retired parents and another who would rather just go along to get along and if that means free stuff, then that’s fine with her.
I gave up just over 15 years ago, when I casually exposed a bit of mortgage fraud and my father told me he knew all about it and I should shut up, said fraudster was working harder than I ever had.
I moved 1000 miles away, call my mom every other week, and am still facebook friends with my fuck up brothers at least, but like I told my wife, when my parents die we are NOT moving, travelling, visiting, doing, signing or saying a damn thing until the bloodbath is over.
Good vibes and good luck.
I guess I am lucky my mooching sister is too lazy and ignorant to be able to pull off massive fraud like that. It also helps that my mother died penniless.
It does remind me that I need a will so that my sister gets zero claim to my meager possessions if my wife and I die first.
So sorry to hear this, Jeff.
But from what bits you’ve related, looks like classic elder abuse and, hopefully, the local District Attorney has a specialized unit to deal with it.
It will have to go through the police first, just make sure your cousins lean on the agency — get the name & phone number of the detective assigned — then follow it through at the DA office (with the amount of money involved, the case should be vertically assigned).
Make sure your cousins get separate charges filed for any threats — and they tell the LEOs that, yes, indeed, they seriously feel threatened and worry your “brother” could carry out such threats.
Be glad “Goldie” is across country. Too bad he can’t just take a long swim in the Everglades …
Prayers and positive thoughts going your way; you’ll get an intention on my rosaries for awhile.
I hope you can get some satisfaction from the authorities, and that the end result for him is Justice, rather than Mercy.
Best wishes for your mother as well.
Thanks for sharing. Sorry you have to go through all this that and the other thing, but I admire you for taking it on without complaint.
Prayers and best wishes for you and your family.
I’ve known over the years several people from the Tampa-St.Pete environ. Nothing good seems to comes from there. But go inland just a bit, to Clearwater? All the difference in the world.
Good luck, Jeff.
Even though our families annoy the hell out of us, neither my wife or I having anything at all like this to deal with. So I will be sending good thoughts your way.
I don’t suppose it is “right” to post your piece-of-crap brother’s info, in case someone should want to drop by and “speak” with him?
The pie is on the windowsill. Repeat: the pie is on the windowsill.
If the crows gather, deny the pie.
I was never here.
That all really blows, Jeff. Understatement, I know.
Prayers and best wishes for you and your family.
RE: Scott’s post above. He is in Florida. I am in Florida.
After reading this, in the spirit of Tony Montana, “it would be my pleasure.”
Just saying. I can bring friends who will be off-duty, but know a lot about how to handle this kind of thing.
It’ll be a night he’ll never forget.
My dad’s widow just remarried and we’re now scrambling to stop her from randomly seizing our inheritance, including the house she and new hubby are living in.
Not anywhere near as severe as Jeff’s situation, though. Nevertheless, it never ceases to amaze how low people can go.
Cut the bitch, where necessary.
Good luck Jeff. He sounds a lot like my late wife’s youngest brother who was into crack & booze and stole from everyone he was around. I have a similar tale of woe but guys like that leave woe in their wake.
re: the update
I cannot say this often enough ….
Document, document, document
Keep a diary of every threat he utters, texts. Blowhards threatening lawfare dig their own pits, let him continue to make the pit deeper. Hand written entries are tedious (do note date, time, etc on each entry) but they are more easily defended as contemporaneous recordings.
Make sure cousin/aunt also understand this. And that they file a report with police anytime he makes any kind of direct threat.
Paper trail, paper trail. paper trail
This makes it much easier for both your detective and for the da.
BTW, I have no idea what the recording laws are in MD, but if he gets through by phone to cousins/aunts in violation of PO, tell ’em to make sure to record those conversations per statute.
My wife has a marvelous family. Unlike my own. In fact, I’ve apologized to my wife a couple of times for my family. My family is lucky my wife is more forgiving than I am.
So, now that I’ve followed in Obola’s footsteps and made it about “me” just my long-winded way of saying “I understand.”
Hmm, in reading through what has happened, were it my brother, I’d probably tell him something along the lines of “If you sell the car and the condo and give the money to Mom, I won’t press charges.”
Bonus: You put the jackass on the street trying to survive after telling the other homeless people he goes by “Goldie.”
What a piece of shit.
Anything you need from the PW commentariat?
As for me, I’m stressed beyond the breaking point. So if you have it in you, send along your best good vibes.
You always have those, my fellow outlaw.
Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them. Prayers for your Mom and that you get some sort of…satisfaction.
>As many of you know, I’m not one of these people who shrinks from a fight.<
you've been down a similar road before. good luck.
Outlaw Vibes Away!
I pity the fool brother.
Add my prayers to the chain. May you stand strong and prove to be a blessing that your mother desperately needs. May God’s justice rain down on your brother.
It sounds like someone whose name rhymes with Feb Fish got reincarnated as your brother. May a large piano accidentally fall on them both.
Jeff,
You are a man of integrity and heart, passion and wit. You have the respect and admiration of a wide community of readers. It grieves us all to see such pain inflicted on you and your loved ones. We are praying for you and thinking good-vibe-ulous thoughts toward you.
Pity the one who could turn against family for money. He does not have your riches. He is making himself into a shadow of a man. Keep your own heart from the kind of acid that must be destroying his. Thanks for being the kind of guy who can re-enter a fight where you have been hurt before, to do the right thing and rescue someone you love. Thanks for the kind of friendship you have shown to those around you and the example you set.
God bless and protect you, make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you.
John Yates
I am deeply sorry this has happened to your family, Jeff.
No one is as fucked up as other people; there is no fucked-upedness like fucked-up family. They ought to care; they ought to treat you like they have some kind of caring relationship with you, but they don’t. They do the opposite.
Again, sorry that you have been afflicted with this nutball.
As for me, I’m stressed beyond the breaking point. So if you have it in you, send along your best good vibes. I can certainly use them right now.
You’re a good son, Jeff.
Do not forget that ever.
(Can’t say anything else regarding your genetic sibling, except I’ve demoted him from the “brother” category.)
Thankfully I share no genes with the fat prick. I was adopted. He was a surprise.
For forty years I’ve seen things like this and worse happen time and time again. [Folks seem as immune to their doctor’s good advice on end of life planning as they are to the more sane and less greedy relatives/neighbors in their life.]
Except for the part where there is a Jeff G who steps in and does something.
Go for it. Just leave the physical stuff to daydreams. It ain’t worth the jail time or lawyer’s fees.
Hand written entries are tedious (do note date, time, etc on each entry) but they are more easily defended as contemporaneous recordings.
Black ball-point pen is prolly best. The ink ages in detectable ways.
I own a shovel and a car. just tell me where to show up.
You’ve got my positive vibes and prayers, Jeff.
People suck.
Jeff, you’ve always got my good vibes. If I thought I could help in any other way, I’d tell you. If you think of anything, just let me know.
His latest rants are meaningless. Last thing he wants is to involve the “real” legal justice process. He can find a lawyer who will tell him anything to get his money, but the bottom line is: he has no solid standing.
And it’s very likely now that he could spend some real quality time in prison. Jamal & Bruno, Esq.; Cell Block 17, sends a loving message to ‘Goldie’!
Newest update: he’s telling the family he’s going to get an injunction and then have power of attorney reversed. He’s also saying he’s going to get an order to prevent my cousins from going near my mother. Then, he’s going to come to Baltimore and beat them to death w a baseball bat.
Q: do I contact the St Pete police? Judge denied my cousin a protective order; apparently in MD the freedom to threaten to kill prople is one of the few rights people still have.
Looking now into getting a constructive trust. Sister just told me that my brother called and canceled my mother’s life insurance policy — after he found out she had shadows on her lungs, etc. Said he’ll make cousins (more likely me) pay for the funeral.
Not sure if he canceled before or after power of attorney change, but if it’s after that may not be binding and if it’s before he just exhibited clear abuse of fiduciary.
Good times! Spending my day trying to find a lawyer actually in the office somewhere. In two states.
Pull a slip and fall and they’ll be on you like houseflies.
You know, it’s axiomatic that one cannot get blood from a turnip, but he shouldn’t count on it being true.
Jeff,
You may wish to contact W.J.J. Hoge (email is hogewash@wjjhoge.com) about Maryland Peace Orders. He has been involved with the Brett Kimberlin story, and has had to deal with a troll / peace orders (as they are called in Maryland). He lives in MD, and has first-hand experience with obtaining them.
see also: hogewash.com
He may also be able to direct you to some local to MD lawyers.
Hoge is a Frey bedfellow. Shared summonses &c.
Popehat might be neutral?
John Hoge is not a fan of Frey. They were thrust together by Kimberlain in the lawsuits. He’s a damn, fine man.
Stacy McCain is good friends with John, Jeff; I’m sure he’d faclitate an introduction.
Stay calm and soldier on.
best of luck
BIL is similar to your brother, but not as bad simply because he’s not that bright. Good luck and as Darleen says DOCUMENT everything.
Defended Frey pro-bono in the Naffe suit. Hoge is an eminently reasonable dude. But if you’re not on the ground, you don’t need advice, you need a lawyer.
try
https://twitter.com/AaronWorthing
kimberlin sued him and rs mccain et al. he’s a dc area lawyer.
John Hoge, I believe, had a very good lawyer who lives in MD.
LTNS. Sorry to hear about this Jeff.
From what you have described as to your mother’s situation, it sounds like he has her in a medicaid approved bed at a nursing facility. The policy with medicaid is to sign over the SS and then the patient gets a small allowance a month which is what you described. You need to get in touch with SS and Medicaid as they require the patient to truly be indigent and have no assets or anything for the prior 6 months to gaining a medicaid bed, so he most likely also has committed medicaid and SS fraud and that is a big deal that they go after. Transferring funds, liquidating assets, all qualify as ‘fraud’ under the statutes.
Been there done that as they say. My MIL had a friend try to pull this stunt but we got wise and stopped it before she could fully execute her plan. She spent some time in the fed pen for it. If you need any more info on this crime contact me stephaniegaatl@yahoo.com .
This is some rough shit to deal with.
“[P]rior 6 months.”
They will look back 3 or 3 1/2 years (can’t remember and they increase the look-back relentlessly) to see if any assets of value were transferred to another. Declaring that there have been no such transfers is criminal. That’s under Medicaid. The patient has to spend down their own assets until less than $2000 is left then they get a monthly allowance of $60 to use for personal needs. This was in Michigan as of the mid 2000s. Other states may differ but I don’t think they do too much as the Federal Government is involved.
Medicaid does indeed have a “Lookback” periodl; Maryland’s is FIVE YEARS.
The Feds are NOT clueless to the fact that some people attempt to divest themselves of assets (or relatives attempt to divest that person of assets) in order to quality for Medicaid. Asset transfer can be done, with sufficient pre-planning, over a long period of time, and in small amounts, but suddenly going from assets to “no assets” isn’t going to fly.
this is why I never pay for cable
Well damn. That sucks like a Hoover.
Jeff,
Long time no talk.
My specialty is Elder/Disability Law, and while Stephanie and Geoff have good points, Medicaid can be obtained by creating a Special Needs Trust, putting all her income/assets into the Trust then applying not only for Medicaid but also for SSI, additionally, spouses can collect on their husband’s SS and get the highest rate on the the two.
Also, a Guardianship terminates a Power of Attorney, so be careful about this–Guardianship allows greater control by the Guardian, but you invite the State government into every transaction: a State ad Litem is appointed, they require annual accounting, every transaction must be approved by the Court, etc. So, typically, sticking with a POA is preferable.
Apply for Medicaid now, it takes 5 months to get first payment. Also, look into SSI. But first, create the Trust, that way your cousin can touch nothing, she qualifies for subsidies and assets can be safeguarded during litigation.