me: ”So, tell me, when’s the last time you were empty long enough to be washed and put away –”
highball glass: “– HA!”
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
Is it OK for me to want to punch a sitting US Senator in the snoot? I’m not supposed to think such things aloud…oops.
Mary Jo Kopechne:”………….”
I considered interviewing his toilet. But then I thought better of it.
The fumes from Teddy Kennedy’s breath can CARMELIZE YOUR SKIN.
Could the fat f**k just die already?
(along with the sixties)
BECAUSE OF THE RESIDUAL ALCOHOL!!!
TW: Paid: When’s the last time you actually paid for a drink, Senator?
And of course comes to mind the joke about the only Kennedy not worth shooting…
The Ted Kennedy song, sung to the tune of the Mexican hat dance song which name I forget:
Oh, your father is dead and your mother is dead
and your brother is dead and your brother is dead
and your brother is dead and Kopechne is dead
and your wife is a lush and your son has one leg
Class-sy. Youse wanna put that haterade on ice for a minute?
And for the record (not that anyone around here wants to let facts get in the way of lazy and familiar political narrative), Senator Kennedy drinks one glass of wine per 24 hours. It was a promise he made to his wife when they got married.
You guys really are assholes (commenters, not JG, this time).
For a guy with no sense of humor, that’s really funny.
tw: Economic. The economics don’t justify paying for your own drink(s).
Hey, Jack, I think I hear your ride approaching.
Malicious gossip I’ll pass along: Maybe, oh, 12 or 14 years ago, a friend of a friend, who was in the catering business, catered Ted and Victoria Reggie Kennedy’s wedding. Her bartender told her that Teddy Boy was sneaking drinks at the bar and telling him, “Please don’t tell my wife I’m doing this.”
Robert: The version I heard, and supposedly it’s sung by the Celtic/heavy metal band Boiled in Lead during their concerts, was:
Oh, your father is dead and your mother is dead
and your brother is dead and your brother is dead
and your nephews are pigs and your wife is a drunk
and your kid has one leg and your car will not float.
Touching White Phosphorous really sucks, but have you ever actually made a caramel? Napalm has nothing on melted sugar; for some reason I thought it was safe to test the temperature of the stuff by touch–BAD DECISION. Years later I carry that wound like a badge, but I’m still not invited to bitch in front of the House and Senate Veterans’ Affairs Committee. THANKS A LOT STEVE BUYER!
Well yeah, one glass of wine, but he didn’t say nuttin’ bout Scotch now, did he?
Yo, Jack. I question your Hateriotism.
This is a whorish plug.
But I blew up Ted Kennedy’s head.
In case you’re interested.
Wow. Someone is actually defending that worthless pile of diseased liver. I never thought I’d see someone actually standing up for a walking abomination of our criminal justice system in this way.
Jack, I grew up in Massachusetts, and I can tell you, OJ Simpson has more principles than Teddy. And man, I can’t believe you brought up the whole “1 glass of wine a day” thing.
Priceless.
Yeah, and no Kennedy would ever break a marriage vow.
Uncle Teddy, living caricature
MA electorates’ version of the pity fuck.
~for tomorry may bering sorr~hic~sorrow. so tonight, let us beeeeeeeeeee gaaaayyyyy~
TW: away as in “Damn can he put that Tanqueray away!”
Hey, don’t knock the pity fuck. That’s the only way a lot of old, tired liberals can get any action.
Wait, never mind.
TW: nothing, it’s what I’ve got.
Best thread in a long time. You’d think that any clueless moron like Uncle Teddy would be doing everything in his power to disappear from the limelight. But that would assume that a Kennedy could know shame. Yeah. Right.
How many people do you know that would let a woman drown while he “pondered” his political future? Without the Kennedy name, this man is a drunk in the gutter. On second thought, even WITH the Kennedy name, he is a drunken gutter bum.
I can’t think of anyone with a bigger set of balls (attached to a miniscule brain) who exists in the world today – well, except maybe for Barbara Boxer.
Nobody with balls would have left that crash scene. I think Ted Kennedy is more the result of chronic bowel impaction.
Jack: Don’t pay any attention to these fascist insects. I appreciate your wearisome and feeble-minded loyalty. It’s touching.
tw: Camelot. Who wants to join me in a chorus? Camelot! Camelot! I know it sounds a bit bizarre….
I always thought that Ted Kennedy, during the 90’s, was Bill Clinton’s portrait (as in Dorian Grey). Bubba’s getting the tonsil tango from a tangy intern, while Teddy pops another boil.
And if anyone can give me a good two-syllable word that begins with “T” and describes Ms. Lewinski, I’ll gladly replace “intern”, above.
tw: *type*, yeah, you play to it.
Tom M,
“Trollop.”
I’m sorry, what were we talking about?
That’ll do nicely. Thanks.
“And for the record (not that anyone around here wants to let facts get in the way of lazy and familiar political narrative), Senator Kennedy drinks one glass of wine per 24 hours. It was a promise he made to his wife when they got married.”
What he didn’t mention is that he has a glass that’s a two gallon bucket.
Ted looked a little better than usual this last Sunday on the chat shows. I think they got the new Chinese liver in. He’s been going through them poor bastards like Slim-Jims…
Tom, you’re too hung up on that iambic pentameter thing: tonsil tango from a tangy tart would have been a bracing break in rhythm.
Well, that’s what I get for studying the Bard. You’re right, of course, the sudden stop at the end is more reminiscent of – say – a car impacting water.
Thanks for the advice AG. Oh and Teddy: “Err, ah, keep, ah, fighting the, err ah, good fight…”
Q—What do you get when you combine a Kennedy, vodka, and water?
A—A fuzzy recollection.
The one glass of wine every 24 hours thing is priceless. Even if it were true (unlikely considering that Teddy is a lying sack of shit who hasn’t been sober since sometime in the early 70’s, if then), it doesn’t address the multi-liter bottle of vodka per day, or the occasional highball, as per Jeff’s jest. I’m sure Teddy had his lawyer draw up this prenuptial promise with loophole aforethought.
What’s truly amazing is that someone is defending this bloated toad.
TW = death. As in Mary Jo’s was lamented, Teddy’s would more likely be celebrated.
Haterade! Git’cher Haterade! It’s ice cold! Haterade!
One glass of wine a day, sure. And 2 quarts of, ah, liniment! Scotch liniment! For the boils, y’see. You betcha.
TW “meaning”. As in “What is reality?”
When are you people going to wake up and realize that Edward Kennedy has more political savvy in his little pinky than any of you have in your whole body?
Dammit!!!
That should have read “………..Edward Kennedy has more Stolychnya in his little pinky than any of you have in your whole body – combined…..”
How the hell did “political savvy” get in there?
Somebody left out the punchline:
One glass—that holds 400 gallons.
Oops, sorry Jorg. You did get the punchline—though two gallons wouldn’t last Da U-Boat Commander longer than 45 seconds.
Have an interesting story to add to this love-fest.
My In-laws were vacationing in St. Croix with some of their family several years ago. They all boarded the plane (small puddle jumper to take them to Puerto Rico) when Teddy showed up with his entourage. The plane was full, so you’d think that he’d be a gentleman and wait for the next flight, but no. He ordered the attendants to forcibly remove several seated passengers, and remove random luggage from the storage compartment, including my wife’s uncle’s luggage, and throw it on the tarmack.
Teddy got his ride home, and Uncle Joe didn’t see his luggage for 3 weeks.
Bastard.
TW: increase. My distain and disgust for this man increases daily.