Also, are we certain that Jeff has survived his move?
There’s probably no need for alarm. Right?
[Upon further reflection, best to just toss a fiver into the jar and hope for the best, people. His ways are not so much unknowable as red-pilled. Uhhh, dolphins. Trout. And… other poor impressions.
Fundraiser, people! Make it rain!]
Abendkleider. Nice pics. Beautiful women. About evening dress however? I knows nuttin, but it looks good.
There’s a tale being told that the fabled “hootchy-kootchy” will be danced in its shocking entirety if the fundraiser totals up to the right four digit sequence before the next quarter moon.
Just something I heard out in the parking lot when I was selling nitrous balloons. Probably nothing.
Remember back when we were kids and we’d go off fundraising for kids with cancer or adults with diabetes or whatever and you would get people to pledge for a certain number of cents for however many miles you’d be able to run?
I’ve been thinking about getting back into amateur fighting lately. So, I wonder, would anyone be interested in a fundraising companion to pw where I tried to get back into three round shape for pw?
For what it’s worth, I normally puke every 20 minutes and get my ass kicked constantly. If you find me even a little annoying, you might enjoy it. If you find me extremely annoying, consider the fact that the last times I’ve done this I’ve enjoyed such fun as concussions and broken ribs.
I was a piss poor fighter by anyone’s standards a few years back and I just turned 40. If we could get a pledge total for pw up around a grand — to start — I’d have training partners film it. Jeff could make grappling jokes that were funny because they were true.
Joking aside, that’s a real offer on the table. I’ve worked down to 230 again. I can make 205 at weigh-ins.
Put a grand in Jeff’s pocket and I’ll have someone film all the most painful parts.
Aside from whatever peculiar pleasure people might obtain watching fisticuffery bh, don’t ya think watching fisticufferers dressed in elegant Abendkleider would have a certain value added?
I was thinking more along the lines of a luchador mask myself, sdferr.
If the Brewers slide were to go on much longer, I think they might think of givin’ those masks a go, eh wot?
Used to write for the Chi-Town Reader with an amateur boxing column back in the long long ago and so interviewed this scrawny kid who turned out to be a real fighter and he talked about how he saw himself winning a belt with the mask on because that’s how his father would see him as a champion.
Strangest thing. It’s stayed with me since.
You’d watch him spar with even 8 oz gloves and they’d look like a ping pong ball on the end of a toothpick.
But, then, jab, jab, jab, jab, jab, jab… and that other guy couldn’t see his other hand anymore. And he’d end fights. It was a beautiful thing.
Kid never went anywhere though.
Got knocked around too much? Went to jail? Went back to Mexico? Don’t know.
Makes one think of The Natural. Makes one think of protein wisdom.
Are we certain that Barbara Hershey hasn’t murdered Jeff on a train? No, no we’re not.
Not even a little are we sure of this.
One of my school chum’s dad used to recount to us his memories of going to amateur fights every week, sitting with his own pals in an upper row (this was in Philly in the late forties) and the bunch of them linking arms, swaying to and fro bellowing “Let me call you Sweetheart” at the top of their lungs anytime the fighters clenched too much. We laughed sumpin awful at his stories.
Maybe I mythologize our past a bit much but that seems a better time to me in many ways.
Think about the pain of being in the clinch. The foot stomps. The three or four short shots to your liver a minute. The taps on the temple and behind the ear every chance available. The lean in to cut your brow.
And that we joshed about as dancing with your girl.
That’s the sort who wins wars with a smile.
They’re or those’re the sort, maybe.
Regardless of my terrible, terrible inability to use “words” correctly I think we can all agree that there’s a decent chance that Jeff has been taken hostage by hostiles.
We might want to consider putting some kind of fund together for this sort of thing. For all we know they’re about to call and be all, “Shit, guys, we’ve already mailed you his left pinky finger. No foolin’, guys.”
You had me at “puke”
The three or four short shots to your liver a minute.
I can do that with Laphroig no bother.
bh on the masthead! Good for you!
Jeff is likely still pulling up and planting down various carpets and hardwoods, up to his elbows in primer, paint, sawdust, and dealing with various moving chores (not to mention mom-in-law) and wondering “where izzat damned snow shovel?”.
But he’s still able to win the internets with ease, on command, in less than 140 characters.
Human Enterovirus D68 maybe?
Jeff, I mean. Not his kids –who are healthy like horse.
Taken hostage by hostiles? I thought he already closed on the new house and got away from the lawyers.
You all got it all wrong: Jeff was taken by the Koch Brothers for an unscheduled Hobbitian refresher course at the secret compound of Visigoth University.
My sources tell me he’s fine, but a few bar stools were injured in the process. On the other hand, they worry that he may have been exposed to a more virulent strain of hermeneutia. I don’t know if it was intentional, however.
But don’t puke on the Abendkleider: that just isn’t mete.
Whoa.
Remember too those who pooh-pooh the commonplace view of ISIS as a genuine threat to the US when the Islamic ISIS murders hundreds or thousands — remember those haughty leftists among us now saying that’s all an overreaction to ISIS, what these pooh-poohers say isn‘t a genuine threat — when thta time comes, and as the enormity of the murders dawns on our failed imaginations, just remember the lefties say what you’re seeing on that future day isn’t truly the effect of a threat to be prevented.
c’mon, ISIS isn’t threat. Al Queada used to behead hostages all the time, and what did they ever do to us?
On the other hand, Army plays Stanford tomorrow. That fucking tree needs to meet the business end of a Paladin.
When did Army start calling its team Knights instead of Cadets?
I’ve been displaying a Scottish flag on my mantlepiece for the last several months.
If the Scottish independence referendum succeeds, I’m replacing it with a California flag.
It’s worth a try, right?
I would like to donate something just to see a video of bh hurling his guts out, but the water softener is kaput and I gotta find a new in the next couple of weeks.
Farm and Fleet has a Westinghouse for 350. Are those any good?
The Army parachute team has always been the “Golden Knights”.
I dunno. The football team, and the rest of athletics are the Black Knights.
Maybe it’s a reference to Monty Python and the last 12 Army-Navy games?.
Kabuki !
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-09-12/fed-has-big-surprise-waiting-you
The old saying goes that Army has Has their Black Knights and a mule, Navy has their Midshipmen and a Goat, and Airforce has a winning football team. They call themselves the Falcons and their mascot is a trophy.
Seems to me Air Force’s winning football team got whomped by Wyoming a couple of weekends ago. I understood Wyoming wasn’t a great football school and that Air Force generally beat them like a rented Army mascot, so wha’hoppen?
Have Army and Navy finally started winning games in Obama’s America?
So far:
Army is 1-1(lost to Stanford and beat Buffalo).
Navy is 2-1 (having lost to Ohio State and beat Temple and Texas State)
Air Force is 2-1(lost to Wyoming, beat Nicholls State and Georgia State).
Airforce plays Navy on Oct. 4 and Army on Nov 1, and the Army-Navy Game (that people look forward to because neither regularly beats Air Force enough to have any real rivalry with them) is on Dec 13.
Air Force plays Boise State next. The Smurfs didn’t do well in their opener against Ole Miss, but I’m pretty sure they could beat Wyoming.