An upcoming issue of Vibe offers this delicious treat: Michael Jackson talks about September 11!

‘I was in New York [after performing at Madison Square Garden on September 7 and 10], and I got a call from friends in Saudi Arabia that America was being attacked. I screamed down the hotel hallway to all our people, “Everybody get out, let’s leave now!” Marlon Brando was on one end, our security was on the other end. We were all up there, but Elizabeth Taylor was at another hotel. We jumped in the car, but there were these girls who had been at the show the night before, and they were banging on the windows, running down the street screaming. Fans are so loyal. We hid in New Jersey.’

Now there’s an image that’ll spend eternity seared into the ol’ grey matter: a panicked King of Pop, a shell-shocked Liz, and a huffing, sweat-soaked Marlon (not to mention the handful of llamas and chimps likely traveling with them) all stuffed into some suite in the Jersey Hilton, gorging on room-service turkey clubs and Heinekens, praying to whatever diety entertainment relics pray to that the Big One should somehow miss vaporizing the Garden State…

Hey Mike: Did it ever occur to you that maybe those “loyal” fans — far from clamoring to lick the foundation off one of your epaulettes — were in reality fleeing for their lives, and maybe coulda used a lift…?

[(Liz and Marlon, simultaneously): “Uh…Are you going to finish those chips, Michael? We do so adore Cool Ranch…”]