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Amen, Sister!

Though, for what it’s worth, I sent Richard Linklater the severed head of that Pap smear chick from Slacker when I heard he was talking about remaking The Bad News Bears.  But the punk went ahead and remade it anyway.

Incidentally, you do know Coppola recut The Outsiders, right?

17 Replies to “Amen, Sister!”

  1. BumperStickerist says:

    Deep in your heart of hearts you know that a story like Breaking Away could benefit from a remake.

    1 – Set the film in Miami

    2 – Have the bike race involve the X Games

    3 – add a hip-hop flavor

    4 – include a couple of gang fights

    5 – hot chicks poolside.

    molto bene! cinematic gold!

    and, while we’re at it, why not toss ‘Annie Hall’ into the pile .  Remake it with Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith … move the picture to LA… add a hip-hop sensibility … use king crabs instead of lobsters … et voila!

  2. Jeff Goldstein says:

    See? Now that kind of stuff is worthy of hate crime legislation.

  3. Amen, Sister!

    You rang?  tongue wink

  4. michele says:

    We were at Best Buy the day the DVD came out. They have some of the actors reading from the book!!  It’s an awesome DVD.  The Warriors special edition came out recently, too.

  5. Murel Bailey says:

    Slacker is a movie folks here in Austin always tell me I should watch. I would, too, except they’ve said the same thing about every piece of drek that Michael Moore pinches off.

  6. Can I play?  Logan’s Run with Lindsay Lohan as Logan 5, Patrick McGoohan as Box and Hugh Grant as the Old Man.  Put a global warming theme behind it.  It’ll be huge in France!

  7. Chrees says:

    Hmmmm… and here I thought most of the Outsiders were already circumcised.

  8. Lew Clark says:

    But the remake of Gone With The Wind with Paris Hilton and Tony Danza is gonna be really cool!

  9. BumperStickerist says:

    All film snobbery aside, I think there are some films that are ripe for a remake:

    1 – Barbarella – would benefit from better special effects.  The plot could pretty much stay the same, except the Angel would need to be renamed – maybe call him ‘98degrees’.

    2 – Le Mans – Subtitle it “Fast Cars/French Women” to appeal to the Red Staters, but the technology for the cars has changed enough to consider a remake for this classic film.

    3 – It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world – Funny ensemble film that would work if you could get an quirky director that top talent would work with for scale.  The only hinderance to a quality film would be if Robin Williams wanted to do a turn as Jonathan Winters.  It’s one film that could have Tim Roberts, Susan Sarandon, Tom Selleck, Beyonce, Will Smith, Kevin Spacey, Lindsay Lohan, and Ed Harris, with Tom Hanks as Spencer Tracey and be successful

    4 – Soylent Green – Sure, we all know that Soylent Green is people, but you knew that the planet on which the apes were in charge was Earth … right?

  10. Jay says:

    What if they redid Lord of the Rings, but with armadillos instead of hobbits?

    Oh, and really hot chicks instead of orcs.

    Or, here’s a really nutso idea: what if they made a new movie, with new characters and a new plot instead?  Wouldn’t that be an interesting idea?

    Spam word: never.  Never gonna happen.

  11. Eh, I’d be more interested in a film version of The Anabasis (a pre-make!) instead of a remake that’s thugged-up with a bunch of people in it who should probably be in jail.

  12. Chrees says:

    Russell, you can say that with a straight face after “Troy” and “Alexander”?

  13. Murel Bailey says:

    Bumperstickerist, redo Soylent Green straight, except change the term “Soylent Green” to “Tofu.”

  14. Doug F says:

    Kinda sorta on topic, in that when Hollywood isn’t remaking movies that worked fine the first time, they’re turning old TV shows into movies.

    Latest victim?  Dallas.  Casting won’t be complete complete until a final script is in, but word is that John Travolta, Mel Gibson, Kevin Costner and Tommy Lee Jones have all been contacted about playing J.R.  No one has said no yet.

    In other news, I just lost a little respect for Mel Gibson and Tommy Lee Jones.  Didn’t have much for the other two to start with.

  15. dorkafork says:

    Or, here’s a really nutso idea: what if they made a new movie, with new characters and a new plot instead?  Wouldn’t that be an interesting idea?

    Yeah, but they would call it Citizen Kane.  (“Dude, did you see Citizen Kane with Sean William Scott?  The kung fu scenes were awesome.)

  16. McGehee says:

    No, no, Dorkafork—that would be Citizen Caine, about a half-Chinese former shaolin monk who becomes a powerful newspaper publisher and runs for governor.

  17. ed says:

    Hmmmm.

    Westside Story?

    LA hooker gangs fighting over territory and hot hot hot lesbian love.  Sure it’s doomed.  Sure the star-crossed lovers are going to die.

    But it’s hot hot hot lesbian love dammit!

    Hmmm.

    You know I’d actually watch that movie.

    sw: hope.  Rather appropriate really.

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