“Newly elected New York City Council member Charles Barron has started off his term with a bang, decrying Founding Father Thomas Jefferson as a ‘pedophile’ whose portrait should be removed from City Hall,” according to a story in Monday’s Newsmax.

The former Black Panther called for Jefferson’s image to be replaced with portraits of prominent African-Americans moments after his swearing-in two weeks ago, in an inauguration speech that received little attention outside New York City.

‘We’re bringing the ‘hood to the hall,’ Barron announced after flashing the Black Power salute of the 1960s. ‘This is a new day. Sixty-five percent of New Yorkers are people of color. We should have a majority of the pictures on the wall.’

The New York City Council member’s reference to Jefferson as a pedophile was an apparent allusion to the Declaration of Independence author’s reputed affair with a slave girl, Sally Hemings.

Several things: First — (and before I begin, did he really say, “bringing the ‘hood to the hall?” [insert the sound of head-scratching here]) — racialist relics like Barron, elected or not, are nothing more than shameless provocateurs. Doubtless Barron is hoping his antics’ll stir up some race-colored controversy that’ll result either in a race-based out of court settlement of some sort, or else lots of teevee time for his preening mug. I watched this dude on the O’Reilly Factor a coupla’ weeks back — table slappin’ and race baiting and otherwise hammin’ it up for the cameras (him, not me; I was too busy giggling at his suit), acting altogether like some lightweight version of the stagy Arab street. (And by the way, if you see the Arab street, tell it I want the 10-spot it owes me from the Eagles-Bears game.)

The gist of Barron’s argument seems to be that, because black folk weren’t legal citizens under the great Dead White Regime, these famed founding poppas — Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, et al. — can’t (and shouldn’t) be heroes or role models to the community of color. Instead, history should recognize these pale unfortunates as slaveowners and pedaphiles, worthy of nothing more than our contempt and a good old revisionist tarring with the new-historicist’s history brush. Putting aside the problem of context (and historical accuracy, too — Washington freed his slaves and Jefferson’s initial drafts of the Declaration included rights for blacks), what remains is some rather sloppy thinking: using Barron’s mental calculus, for instance, we’re forced to believe that a whole host of Americans — the descendents of Ellis Island immigrants, for instance — must likewise claim an historical disconnect from the founding cast & crew of this nation. But c’mon: just ’cause these folks were late arrivals to the freedom party doesn’t mean they aren’t welcomed to the party favors — the ideals and principles set down by the founders (which ideals and principles, it should be noted, ultimately led us to end slavery on our own, and to develop the most generous immigration policy in the history of the world).

And that’s what we’re celebrating the founders for, after all — the heroic thoughts and deeds that set the conditions for our freedoms today. Anybody and everybody who goes by “American” should be able to appreciate those heroics, regardless of his or her current tint or texture.

Besides, the idea that people of color can only be inspired by other people of color is ludicrous (is the opposite true, Chuck? that is, do you ‘spose whites can dig the words of Doctor King? Or howsabout of Malcolm — ain’t he the man o’ color what got Johnny Taliban all in an ideological froth, setting him off on his quest?)

Barron argues that “Sixty-five percent of New Yorkers are people of color,” so therefore “should have a majority of the pictures on the wall.” Yeah, well I saw Do The Right Thing, too, Charlie — and look how that story turned out. And where is your table-thumping defense of this kind of proportianalism when the police invoke it to justify the “proportional” profiling young black men…

And one more thing: pardon my boldness, brother, but I think you mean, “bringin’ the hood to the hizzz-all.” Shit, you’re as hopelessly outta’ date as all them aging Hippies out in Berkeley who still clinging to anti-Nam protest slogans, even as Islamofascists plot to kill us all…

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