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Forty-seventh in a series of real-time empirical observations

As you read this post, Canadian diva Celine Dion, having just been seated at a popular Las Vegas ristorante, bursts into tears upon being greeted by a basket of freshly-baked breadsticks and olive tapenade, demanding to know why the black tourist family seated the next table over “has yet to receive any water” and “why—in a country that can blow up the world in a matter of seconds—these poor blacks are forced to wear such cheap clothing.”

At which point she stands and begins to warble the first few bars from “The Prayer” before the dinner roll and fried calamari thrown at her by an Elvis impersonator convinces her to sit back down and shut the fuck up.*

(h/t Ace)

33 Replies to “Forty-seventh in a series of real-time empirical observations”

  1. Gamer says:

    The Elvis impersonator was a little slow on the uptake. The dinner roll should have been flying before she sat down.

  2. Lydia says:

    I saw that as it happened, and when, at the end, Larry said (paraphrasing) “she goes on in 20 minutes, what a trooper”, I wanted to kill something.

  3. Jeff Goldstein says:

    In a way I felt for her, but then the sanctimony brought me to the point of anger, and finally, just pointing and giggling at the way she managed to compose herself to sing the song.

    At that point I realized it was all about her.

  4. As if we needed another reason to hate Celine Dion.

  5. mojo says:

    Unless she was planning on wearing a smokey-the-bear hat, it’s “trouper”, Lydia.

    Not that I’d put it past her.

  6. Forbes says:

    I thought we were holding a discussion about the meaning of “articulate”?

    Oh, sorry, that was a different thread.

    This one is about “The New Face of the Democratic Party”?

    wink

  7. The Deacon says:

    Maybe she could help by charging people less than $200 a ticket to her her oversinging. And ‘our country’, she’s a fricking French Canadian, most of her fellow countrymen hate her as well.

  8. Carin says:

    You gotta admit, Celine is pretty articulate for a French Canadian.

  9. B Moe says:

    Did she say the mother’s are like Cheez Whiz?

  10. dario says:

    Kayaks! I knew we forgot something. That was pure GOLD.

  11. Lydia says:

    Unless she was planning on wearing a smokey-the-bear hat, it’s “trouper”, Lydia.

    Well I’ll be. 37 25 years on this planet, and I learn I’ve been spelling it wrong all this time.

    Course, I coulda lied and said it was a typo, but instead am showing my ignorance for all to see.

    Ain’t I a trooper trouper!

    PS, I just learned how to do strike throughs today too. Can you tell?

  12. Drumwaster says:

    No.

    TW: inside, as in, “You gotta put it inside the HTML tags…

  13. benrand says:

    It was my understanding that there would be no math.

  14. albo says:

    Just say “tapenade.” The olives are implied.  If no capers involved, it’s an “olivade” (sp?)

    /god, tapenade on baguette is good

    /hungry ex-chef

  15. well, lydia, i always thought it was trooper. or else i’m missing the joke that mojo is making.

  16. Diana says:

    Maggie … it’s all about honour and honor.

  17. Lydia says:

    A-ha! It was a British/Canadian plot to insert that damn U in all our words.

    Maggie and I didn’t fall for it!

    /yeah, that’s it.

  18. mojo says:

    Is any of this on the final?

  19. mojo says:

    Oh:

    Troupe = artistic group

    Troop = military/police group

    See? No soup for you!

    SB: single

    one reason why

  20. Lydia says:

    SOUPNAZI!

  21. Tomi says:

    From the Free Dictionary:

    troup·er

    n.

    1. A member of a theatrical company.

    2. A veteran actor or performer.

    3. A reliable, uncomplaining, often hard-working person.

    The spelling “trooper” offers no comparable definition to #3

    Trouper wins. Now you and three others know the truth.

  22. huh, i learn something new every day. damn homophones.

  23. Lydia says:

    The thing is, I was blessed with good spelling skillz, so it tends to bug me when I learn I’ve been spelling something wrong. Like separate.. been spelling it seperate for ages.

    I simply don’t recall ever seeing the phrase in written form, always uttered. So my brain naturally spelled it trooper, cuz it connotes to me, someone who acts like one.

  24. that’s it lydia! thanks for figuring it out for me. for some reason i can only think of my mom saying it.

  25. cthulhu says:

    HOMOPHONOPHOBE!

  26. sailorette says:

    My family always means the military version of it– this, despite having many relatives in the military and knowing that the uncomplaining part is highly unlikely….. (Hard working, yes.  But OY do we gripe!)

  27. McGehee says:

    3. A reliable, uncomplaining, often hard-working person.

    The spelling “trooper” offers no comparable definition to #3

    I can see why. They’re always complaining about how fast I’m going, whether I actually stop at a stop sign, how many pedestrians had to dive headlong off the sidewalk as I drove by…

    What a bunch of whiners!

  28. CalDevil says:

    Isn’t it Soopnazi?

    grin

  29. Jim Hoft says:

    I thought she was going to break out into, “You can get there by kayak,… but get there if you can.”

    God, that was so funny!  Poor Larry, he didn’t know what to do.

  30. steve says:

    Celine is a racist snoop for inspecting the skin-colors of the people around her.

    The folks she was sitting next to – and judging, didn’t want water and they had already articulated this to their waiter.  They were waiting in pleased patience for the rest of their party to arrive before ordering.

    What kind of 99-cent-store publicity stunt is Celine trying to pull?

    -Steve

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