20 Replies to “Awkward moments in animism, 2”

1. TODD says:

   September 22, 2005 at 10:19 pm

   My question to you sir, did the underpants forgive
   
   you??????????……..

2. Jeff Goldstein says:

   September 22, 2005 at 10:22 pm

   I’m no animist. I’m just speculating.

   Oh, and in case Ilyka is lurking: I AM NOT SHANNON ELIZABETH EITHER!

3. Major John says:

   September 22, 2005 at 11:09 pm

   You most certainly are Shannon Elizabeth.

4. Jeff Goldstein says:

   September 22, 2005 at 11:10 pm

   Oh yeah.

   …BUT I AM NOT A RACIST!

5. me says:

   September 22, 2005 at 11:23 pm

   …and bordering on perverted.

6. Lydia says:

   September 23, 2005 at 12:00 am

   You gotta wonder abouta guy who calls skivvies “underpants”.

   And talks to them.

7. Lew Clark says:

   September 23, 2005 at 12:54 am

   You are a racist, and your subconscious linguistic racism continues to out you.  People of color do not say underpants!  So the use of the term underpants exposes (how’s that for a play on words?) your underlying racism.  “I am superior, I use underpants in polite conversation”.

8. Robert says:

   September 23, 2005 at 1:03 am

   How do you know that the underpants didn’t like it?

   Some underpants are very freaky.

   You’re imposing your Judeo-Christian moral values on your helpless underpants.

   FECALPHOBE!

9. Scott P says:

   September 23, 2005 at 2:12 am

   Ghost of John Merrick: I am not an animist!

10. alppuccino says:

    September 23, 2005 at 2:17 am

    Underpants: “Save the apologies for the inner lining of your of your rectum, my good man.  I took the liberty of running a Fecal Occult Blood Test on the sample you just provided and unless you have a huge anal fissure, there’s a good bet that the Ulcerative colitis train has pulled into your station.”

11. Russell Wardlow says:

    September 23, 2005 at 2:20 am

    BECAUSE OF THE HABANEROS!

12. Murel Bailey says:

    September 23, 2005 at 2:43 am

    No war for skid marks!

13. ed says:

    September 23, 2005 at 3:43 am

    Hmmmm.

    “Oh yeah.”

    Ok Jeff.  Does that mean that, when you’re writing about Shannon Elizabeth’s nipples, you’re really writing about your own?

    This alternate reality needs a roadmap.

14. Lew Clark says:

    September 23, 2005 at 5:07 am

    OT,
    
    It’s now officially Friday and local tv just caught the’dillo on tape “hanging ten” off the West Beach in Galveston.  So all is well with the world.

15. Sean M. says:

    September 23, 2005 at 7:33 am

    You gotta wonder abouta guy who calls skivvies “underpants”.

    Actually, the writers of Futurama have argued (persuasively, I think) that the word “underpants” is at least 50% funnier than “underwear.”

16. tomaig says:

    September 23, 2005 at 11:32 am

    Boxers or briefs, Mr. President, er, um, I mean Mr. Goldstein?

17. McGehee says:

    September 23, 2005 at 1:30 pm

    Jeff, Jeff, Jeff…

    Now you know after this post your critics are going to be calling you “Mr. Poopypants” without even a trace of irony.

    Which will be exactly the same as before, but, you know, this time they’ll have an excuse.

    Not that they ever needed one, but…

    Oh, forget it.

18. Murel Bailey says:

    September 23, 2005 at 1:33 pm

    You can prevent having spicy-food-related drawer staining if you preemptively pinch a loaf in those skivvies. Then it’s like water on a wet rock.

19. AWG says:

    September 23, 2005 at 2:12 pm

    Could this be the mysterious missing link in the chain of “1) collect underpants –> 2) ??? –> 3) PROFIT!!!”?  Frankly, I don’t know.  Trey Parker and Matt Stone won’t return my calls/e-mails/notes tied around rocks thrown through their windows.  I’ll inform you all of further developments, provided I can ditch these cops chasing me.

20. MC says:

    September 24, 2005 at 3:53 am

    MRS. JEFF: <holding up underpants> OMG honey, did you hit a deer?

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