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Random Geraldo Rivera thought, Monday, Sept 26, 2:48 PM EST

…MY mustache can bench 240.  Can Bolton’s mustache bench 240?  Can it curl 150 in reps of 10?  I bet not.  I bet it doesn’t even lift.  The pussy…

16 Replies to “Random Geraldo Rivera thought, Monday, Sept 26, 2:48 PM EST”

  1. Sticky B says:

    Geraldo’s mustache has to be impressive in order to hide the stretchmarks. He probably has a hairy ass crack for the same reason.

  2. alppuccino says:

    Geraldo’s stache is on the juice and has always been on the juice – period – end of story.

  3. Matt30 says:

    Juice or no juice, 240 is very impressive.

  4. “Geraldo’s stache is on the juice and has always been on the juice – period – end of story.”

    I demand a congressional investigation! Our impressionable peach-fuzzed youth are being sent dangerous messages by the grotesque full-bodied-ness of this man’s illegal ‘stache!

  5. alppuccino says:

    Investigate all you want.  But I know for a fact that the G-stache will deny, deny, deny.

    He used to hang out with Rollie Fingers’ mustache in Oakland when Canseco was a rookie.  What more do you need?

    Balco Stache Wax my ass.

  6. Sean M. says:

    Yeah, yeah.  The strength of Geraldo’s ‘stache is impressive, but does it get any tail?

    I thought not.

  7. alppuccino says:

    Holy shit Sean.  Didn’t you hear?  the Riv-stache came out last month.

    Oh, and he’s a catcher, not a pitcher.

  8. RC says:

    The Geraldo stache better hope to G_d that Bolton’s stache doesn’t get wind of these comments.  Bolton’s stache would kick him around the UN complex twenty times just to warm up enough for breakfast.

  9. McGehee says:

    Regis for President

    “The only mustache in politics that’s a black-belt Kung Fu master.”

  10. Jeff Goldstein says:

    I heard Regis’ mustache once had the entire Redskins cheerleading squad in one coke-filled night following the ‘Skins defeat of the hated Cowboys.

  11. utron says:

    I’ve never been able to look at Rivera and/or his ‘stache without thinking about Carl Hiaasen’s strikingly similar character Reynaldo Flemm.  Flemm went undercover as male stripper Johnny Le Tigre to do a story on cosmetic surgery, and died when his heart was sucked out during a botched liposuction procedure.

    TW:  “Appear,” as in “Geraldo is obsessed with how he and his moustache appear.”

  12. I heard Regis’ mustache once had the entire Redskins cheerleading squad in one coke-filled night following the ‘Skins defeat of the hated Cowboys.

    so, like, last week right?

  13. ss says:

    I heard Regis’ mustache once had the entire Redskins cheerleading squad in one coke-filled night following the ‘Skins defeat of the hated Cowboys.

    Holy crap. Bolton’s mustache Regis has its own mustache? That’s like mustache to the second power. Damn.

  14. Daniel says:

    It looks like the ‘stache has finally been vindicated.

  15. Robert Schwartz says:

    One of my former partners, of whom there are many, is Geraldo’s fifth father in-law. I am not sure what that means for me.

  16. SCSIwuzzy says:

    His stache is on the juice?  I knew it got alot of tang, but I thought it refered to something else.

Comments are closed.