Tammy the blind date: “My God, Regis! That was incredible! Like, I think you changed my life, you know? Never before have I been so thoroughly and vigorously —
“Regis”: “– Yeah, yeah, I get that all the time, honey. Speaking of which, that ten spot on the dresser should be enough to get you home, right? I’ve got oil-for-feed stuff I gotta deal with in the morning, and—well, I really do need to get some sleep…”
That callous bounder. Where does a mustache like that get the idea that he can treat women like some kind of carnival ride? I mean reeeeeeally. Just ten bucks you say. Can I get Tammy’s number?
“REGIS” IS AN ANIMAL!
TW: method – I’d like to know his.
Great – Regis is a cad. At least have the decency to drive her home yourself, you brushy stud you…
You guys gotta give Regis some slack, it’s not his fault all the ladies want his…style.
He’s a playa’, so let a playa’ play, can you dig?
Right now I’m drinking a fourty in your honor, Regis, you rakishly magnificent bastard.
I’m saddened to report that Regis’ presidential campaign is adrift and we’re having serious trouble getting our candidate to attend the policy meetings or to adhere to the fundraiser schedules we’ve worked out. And he and Yogi Berra’s nose hair had a frightful knock-down-rag-out over some bit of baseball minutiae and now we’re back to looking for a running mate.
And you know, it’s probably for the best, the running mate thing. The terms “running mate” and “nose hair” really just don’t go well together.
We’ll be interviewing Ann Coulter’s underarm hair next week. Whoo-hoo!
what about al gore’s beard? i mean, it left him, so there could be some possibilities there right?
I’m feeling hairied.