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BREAKING: GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN TO FORCE CLOSURE OF INTERSTATE HIGHWAYS

Well, maybe not yet.  But the fact that I was able to make you look shows just how beholden we’ve become to a government that controls not only our Amber Alert system but the live footage of visiting Pandas — and soon, if it gets its way, will be able to hold our health care over our heads should we not buckle to its “need” for constant new revenue streams.

In short, it shows how willing the DC elite are to cause us discomfort and suffering should we not subjugate ourselves to them, to willingly enslave ourselves to a fascistic State that wears the mask of beneficent paternalism.

— Which, in turn, makes the case that it’s long past time for some serious pruning.

So.  Grab your shears, people!  And don’t fret! Instead, just think of the exercise as reshaping the community garden:  first we remove the bindweed, then we go all Bonsai tree on the thing, until all that’s left is a pretty little silhouette that we keep perched on our desk to remind us how best to protect our liberty from untended overgrowth.

Miyagi-do Karate!

12 Replies to “BREAKING: GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN TO FORCE CLOSURE OF INTERSTATE HIGHWAYS”

  1. dicentra says:

    And then there’s today’s xkcd.

  2. Pablo says:

    Something comes to mind about such a tree needing watering…

  3. McGehee says:

    But y’see, di, that’s the problem. So many sinister conspirators control the government and no two of them can agree on what it should be doing.

  4. Ernst Schreiber says:

    I kind of wish they would try to pull a stunt like that. After all, this is about educating people about the centrality of the role government plays in all of our lives, whether we realize it or not.

    Is it wrong of me to want the education to continue, good and hard?

  5. sdferr says:

    Ha! Trucks! They wanted France, now they’ll get it in spades strikes.

  6. Squid says:

    Ironically enough, a bunch of trucks rolling around the Beltway at 55mph would be a marked improvement over regular Friday night rush hour conditions…

  7. newrouter says:

    #occupy i 495

  8. Blake says:

    No wonder “The Onion” is having trouble. Parody is dead when parody is actuality.

  9. Squid says:

    People often make the mistake of believing The Onion is a source of satire and parody; it is not. In actuality, The Onion is a work of futurism, so accurate that it borders on precognition. Read any article from a few years ago, and you’ll see that it’s actually happening now.

    The main problem The Onion is having right now is that the absurdity has accelerated to the point where they’ve having trouble staying out in front of it.

  10. McGehee says:

    Bob, that stunt should have brought Tennessee and local authorities out to arrest the feds for felony child endangerment. “Ranger, you will open this road, or we will — and you’ll be riding a bus to various roadsides to pick up litter and cut brush.”

Comments are closed.