18 Replies to “Has anyone else ever had that dream where Gene Wilder shows up in your bedroom in his Wonka hat and suit and warns you to submit to the will of Allah or else suffer the sword, then—to punctuate his point—slices off the head of a doped up Oompa Loompa and holds it aloft while his little friend Charlie hums “I Want It Now” and videotapes the whole thing…? ”

1. Blackjack says:

   July 25, 2005 at 7:20 pm

   No, it just means you got the Director’s Cut before the rest of us.

2. mojo says:

   July 25, 2005 at 7:27 pm

   Hey! Stay the hell out of that mayonnaise jar in the refrigerator, Jeff! That’s my mescaline!

   Stick to stealing the Laughing Cow cheese, huh?

3. Tman says:

   July 25, 2005 at 7:38 pm

   Too much WND mixed with those late night fig newtons will always give you WACKED out dreams.

4. Beck says:

   July 25, 2005 at 7:45 pm

   Jesus and my Uncle Boondog never did figure out that the kids didn’t like being drop-kicked.  That’s why I’ve always been scared of dogs named after major cities.  The nerve damage, however, was purely incidental.

5. T Marcell says:

   July 25, 2005 at 7:49 pm

   “I Want It Now” was a Veruca tune, but where’s the 5-word review on the re-make?
   
   –chocolate-covered moral relativism–wither Wilder?

6. Major John says:

   July 25, 2005 at 8:20 pm

   Jeff, I’d lay off the “Everlasting Gob Stoppers”…

7. TomB says:

   July 25, 2005 at 8:36 pm

   Jeff, it wasn’t a dream.

   Wilder was at my house last week.

   Do you know how hard it is to get Oompa-Loompa blood out of a carpet?

8. McGehee says:

   July 25, 2005 at 8:48 pm

   WND? Don’t you know that was all a Bushitler lie to stampede America into an illegal war?

9. Scott P says:

   July 25, 2005 at 9:46 pm

   In my dream, the Oompa Loompa wasn’t doped up, but I was.

   What am I supposed to take from that?

10. Eric J says:

    July 25, 2005 at 10:18 pm

    I think you’ve been licking the far end of the wallpaper.

11. JD says:

    July 25, 2005 at 10:58 pm

    Oom-pah, loom-pah, loom-pah-dee-doo,
    
    Won-ka is here and he’s waiting for you,
    
    Al-lah Akh-bar is what you’ll say,
    
    Or it’s ar-ma-dil-lo paté.

12. iowahawk says:

    July 25, 2005 at 11:20 pm

    Like all truly disturbing people, Gene Wilder is an alumnus of the University of Iowa.

    http://www.jsonline.com/enter/movies/ap/jun01/ap-gene-wilder-scr061201.asp?format=print

    Yet more profoundly disturbing Iowa Alumni and former students:

    John Irving
    
    Al Jarreau
    
    Tennessee Williams
    
    Me
    
    Ashton Kutcher
    
    Rita Dove
    
    T. Coraghessan Boyle
    
    Tom Arnold
    
    Jane Smiley

    Now that’s a cast list for serious nightmare.

13. wishbone says:

    July 25, 2005 at 11:36 pm

    Hey!!! I saw Jarreau a couple of weeks ago.  I hope I move like that when I’m 137.

    Tom Arnold on the other hand…if I ever move like that, treat me like the aforementioned Oompa.

14. Chrees says:

    July 26, 2005 at 3:37 am

    I think you just saw a double feature of “Speak No Evil, Keep Your Head Attached to Your Body” and “Blazing Haggis.” Two of Gene’s better movies. And with the soundtrack to “The Lady in Red with a Sword to the Throat of the Non-Believer.”

15. cthulhu says:

    July 26, 2005 at 4:12 am

    This whole thread is seriously disturbed.

    .

    .

    .

    But I’m reading it, aren’t I?

    Spamword: “friends”—how does he do that?

16. Jolly Roger (aka Rev. Lick) says:

    July 26, 2005 at 7:15 am

    If Allah is reading…um, dude, Jeff is now having moist dreams about you.  That’s the most disturbing thing I’ve thought about in at least 20 minutes.

17. Matt says:

    July 26, 2005 at 11:05 am

    Ahhh,Tom Arnold.  We now see where your humor comes from Ihawk…

18. ArizonaTeach says:

    July 26, 2005 at 6:05 pm

    I’d really only worry if he showed up as his character in Haunted Honeymoon.

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