Safeway check-out clerk: “Just sliced turkey breast? No ham?”
me: “Beg pardon?”
Safeway check-out clerk: “Nothing. Forget it.”
me: “I’m sorry, is there something wrong?”
Safeway check-out clerk: “You mean other than your vile, bigoted, discriminatory embrace of one particular type of lunch meat over another noble meat of equal dignity that you’ve excluded so pointedly from your lunchtime sandwiches? No. Not at all.”
me: “Oh. That. Well. what if I were to tell you that I keep Kosher and am not allowed to eat ham?”
Safeway check-out clerk: “I’d say that’s why everybody so despises religious fundamentalist haters with the entirety of their egalitarian souls. $6.49, please.”
Safeway check-out clerk: “By the way, would you be interested in rounding up $0.51 for Prostate Cancer research? And before you answer that, you should probably think long and hard, Mr Ham Bigot.”
Safeway check-out clerk: “By the way, would you be interested in rounding up $0.51 for Prostate Cancer research? And before you answer that, you should probably think long and hard, Mr Ham Bigot.”
me:“Not today, thank you. Personally I think they’ve found enough Prostrate deseases already without searching for any more, and by the way, did you know that bar code readers cause several forms of cancer?”
Safeway check-out clerk: “I’d say that’s why everybody so despises religious fundamentalist haters with the entirety of their egalitarian souls. $6.49, please.”
me: “No, what you were supposed to say there was, ‘Cool, more bacon for me.’ You’re welcome.”
me: I guess somebody’s a little miffed that her B.A. in Angry Studies got her nothing more than a part-time cashier’s gig at Safeway. And you can stop pretending you’re vegan — just admit you’re too poor to afford meat.
happy canada day
So you’ve got those Safeway charity beggars in Colorado too, eh..? I hate them. Their credit card machine asks you for donations.. Then the checker asks .. Then they shame you with the “… do you want to round up .17 for whatever..” Anyone know what they get out of that whole scam? My local stores in Seattle run these 24/7/365 for a vast array of charities… and I’ve heard them say the chain raises tens of millions for charity.. They get tons out of me.. Way more than I recoup in gas discounts.. Does it at least count as Tzedakah ?
Mr Ham Bigot.. hahahahaha!
Stop selling crappy bullshit ham that sucks and maybe I’ll buy some Safeway. No I won’t.
Mrs. B. and I get hit with the charity pitches a lot at stores. We just respond: ‘No thanks. Our charity-giving is a private matter’.
I just say, “Not today.”
Every day.
I say that, too McGehee.
I like when I’m ordering lunch and the drone says “would you like to donate a dollar to our focus-group tested photogenic charity?” and I say “I would love to donate a dollar to your precious urchins, but I’m already paying 13% tax on this crappy meal, so maybe you should ask Governor Mumbles to donate from the money he just took from me.”
The coin collecting jar for The March of Dimes or whoever at the cash register I’m ok with.. but Safeway specifically has devoted a great deal of their resources to this perpetual charity drive.. Those resources dont come free… So what are they getting out of it? Is it just tens of millions of dollars that they get to hold in their bank accounts for months before passing them on, or do they get a cut of the action… ?
Some corporations expense certain activities as “good will” as in, being able to advertise what good corporate citizens they are. In short, public relations.
Also, though I don’t know for sure how such money is accounted, the resources expended on the program can offset taxable profits.
Walgreens has revolving number of charities that the clerks ask you to donate to. Now the display on their POS machines pops up with a command to donate a dollar to X? You can still touch “no” under the message, but I’m waiting for it to just get tucked into the tax portion of the receipt.
“the resources expended on the program can offset taxable profits.”
That’s what I’ve been thinking.. These cynical bastards are writing off a percentage of their labor and probably IT expenses by begging for contributions with every transaction.. Greedy fuckers…