INT – UN building, day. Kofi Annan, dressed sharply in an expensive Italian suit and carrying a snifter of Cognac, enters from stage left through a door connecting the Secretary General’s anteroom to the main office and takes his seat behind an immaculately-kept desk, which has been polished to a shine. Across from him sits a rumpled man in a cheap blue suit. The Secretary General sets his snifter on a coaster bearing the United Nations seal and rakes the man’s face with his eyes.
Kofi Annan: “Mr Bolton, I presume…”
John Bolton: “Yes, John Bolton. How do you do, Mr Secretary General.”
Kofi Annan: “I do fine, Mr Bolton. Just fine.”
John Bolton: “Yes sir. Very good, sir.”
Kofi Annan: “Your mustache, Mr Bolton—it’s quite enormous. Tell me, does it have a name?”
John Bolton: “As a matter of fact it does, sir. I call it ‘Regis’.”
Kofi Annan: “Ah. Like the talk show host.”
John Bolton: “Right. Like the talk show host.”
Kofi Annan: “I find that very interesting, Mr Bolton.”
John Bolton: “Thank you, sir.”
Kofin Annan: “Good afternoon to you, Mr Regis.”
Regis the mustache:
John Bolton: “He’s a bit shy around foreigners, I’m afraid.”
Kofi Annan: “Yes. Well then. Shall the three of us begin?”
John Bolton: “Yes, let’s. Let’s begin…”
~ finis ~
…and when Mister Bigglesworth gets upset… people DIE!!!
the moustache does not represent the congress!
The moustache lied, people…oh never mind.
Dude, I am supremely disappointed that there was not a single reference to teabagging here. Man, you were better when you had a drug problem; but I’ll take a sober protein wisdom over no protein wisdom any day.
Well, this is an august institution we’re dealing with here. Let’s show it some fucking respect, you know?
Okay Jeff, but just for the rest of the month. Then it’s back to just being an institution, that we can shit upon as we will.
I still say that mustache reminds me of someone else’s.
I don’t get it. What happened to the armadillo?
SB: lost
You’d better learn fast, buddy. This is going to be a regular feature.
Silly! He’s hiding under the mustache!!
Speaking of enormous body parts with their own personal names, I am convinced that this is the long-sought fourth photo of Jeff. Can’t prove it, don’t have the spectral analysis gadgetry, just a hunch….
Turin = came
I have no fucking idea what this post means, and I like it!
… I’ll just start by saying that I’m the road grader and Regis here is the blade that is going to push your entire institution into Turtle Bay…
MC, he could take a cue from Charles Lichenstein, a member of the Reagan delegation at the U.N., who said:
“If in the judicious determination of the members of the United Nations, they feel that they are not welcome and that they are not being treated with the hostly consideration that is their due * * * then the United States strongly encourages such member states seriously to consider removing themselves and this organization from the soil of the United States….
“We will put no impediment in your way * * * The members of the U.S. mission to the United Nations will be down at dockside waving you a fond farewell as you sail into the sunset.”
The only problem with this is that they would have been sailing East and not into the sunset.
Hey Attila – Would they had sailed then, alas!
Since those Reagan years the UN has participated in the most egregious international treachery by coddling a dictator for financial gain and facilitating the subversion of their own Security Council.
To Davy Jones’ Locker with ‘em.
Not to be picky or anything, but you’d think the guy would know that snifters are for brandy, and that you drink cognac in a chimney glass. Man, what a rube!
nouveau riche.
You forgot the part where Kofi steps over the bodies of recently-raped Congolese teen-agers to get to his desk.
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I’m a little off the mark here, for those who are serious about spirits. Cognac is, in fact, a type of brandy… but it’s also the historical precursor to whiskey which gives it a special place. One might call it “sweet whiskey,” or “sweet nectar,” (since “whiskey” is gaelic for “nectar”) or even “sweet living water,” if you’re fond of biblical references. It has about the same alcohol content as a good single malt or blended whiskey (40%) but it also has a complex taste that most whiskey lacks. It’s generally considered that any serving method creating a large surface area for evaporation “violates” the aesthetics of the distillate (although sniffing will get you high as a kite, so a snyfter probably falls in that category, even though the opening is much smaller than the holding area. It’s better to “pile up” the distillate in order to reduce the surface area, which argues for something like a chimney glass or a tall narrow wine glass. By the way Hennessy Privilege VSOP is probably the best “bang for the buck” in cognac (a fact well known by many retired US Navy personnel), although there are much more expensive options.
Since Winston Churchill drank cognac and ate cake one is compelled to ask whether such a habit builds character, and I’m predisposed to believe that it does. Have at it. (I’m not sure whether it goes with pie, however.)
All of which seems to suggest that there’s not a snowball’s chance Kofi was doing it right, the corrupt old thuggie.