Q: How many Native Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: RACIST!
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Q. How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Two. One to assure you everything possible is being done, and one to screw the bulb into your faucet.
Have I ever explained Roberts’ Law to you, Jeff? It is my postulate that:
All the knowledge in the Universe can be contained in a sufficiently large set of lightbulb jokes.
I caught this whole controversy on Fox News Channel this morning. Before 0900, and BEFORE COFFEE!
I didn’t quite catch who was involved in the argument, but one was a hell-raising sports/news commentator from somewhere in Ohio, while the other was a grim representative of the NCAA.
They hadn’t been talking for two minutes before the NCAA rep. was spouting some blather about genocide and other historic crimes.
Christ! These morons would make a cat laugh. They have looks on their faces as sour as last year’s rhubarb. And, unfortunately, they have the power to inflict their guilt on the rest of us.
Indian “One Tear” Ad – PDFM
But, as fate, which requires the Native Americans to get screwed at every possible opportunity by the White Man, would have it:
Iron Eyes is not a Native American
Snopes also points out that the Chief Seattle “Earth is our Mother” stuff was written by recently, by someone of non-Native American persuasion, and used by Al Gore in ‘Earth in the Balance’ as proof of …. something.
It’s worth pointing out that Magwah really got the short end of the tomahawk in ‘Last of the Mohicans’ …
Lastly, how does Jeff propose dealing with the “Nez Perce” situation?
I mean – a Native American tribe with a French name?
My goodness …. that’s a dilema wrapped in a conundrum with a side order of paradox.
Personally, were I the President of Florida State, I’d rename my team just for the Tournament
As the team takes the floor, the announcer calls out: And here are the Florida State Brandsanidiots ..
in honor of Myles Brand, president of the NC2A
There is a danger for the NCAA in this. An agency that insists upon making itself a laughing stock cannot complain when people stop listening to it. The NIT once crowned the nation’s college basketball champions. One day, it might again.
How many bloggers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. He holds the bulb in the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Ah Jeff, we come for the laughs, stay for the commentary.
Since I know you’ve been working on it. . .
Jeff, over this last weekend the PW ratio of citizen journalism to dick jokes has been almost as perfectly calibrated as the ratio of peanuts to brazil nuts in my favorite Trail Mix.
Keep it up!
How are they all going to fit inside the lightbulb?
Here is a relevant article:
The Morning Sun.
Quote from the article:
I can not speak for Mr. Sowmick, but I suspect that he does not like the NCAA using his heritage to assert their feelings of moral superiority.
It is an interesting story, but it may not get much play, as Central Michigan University, the school in the article, is not a big time sports school.
Maybe you aren’t getting the usual playful arguments on this stuff because the NCAA is being idiotic beyond belief.
TW: pay, As in “The NCAA will have hell to pay from the fans over this one.”
I’m just wondering why there isn’t a team named after my ethnic group. No Jewboys, no Israelites, no Macabees. I can just imagine the skullcapped fans and and the rivalry with teams named for Arabs…
“Hello folks, we’re here today to watch the long-awaited matchup between the San Diego State Shylocks and the South Texas Towelheads. South Texas is coming off a big win against the Arkansas Animists, while the Shylocks had a bye last week. We expect this game to be a real barn-burner…..or bus bomber, whatever you want to call it.”
I see what you mean. The opportunities for commentary are endless, Joshua.
Macabees.
heh.
Seriously, I live in Mississippi, and I’ve put up with more than my share of NCAA idiocy with the local schools here.
On the one hand, Mississippi State University (they’re the Bulldogs, obvious human-supremacists) was once Mississippi A&M. As a new crop of students grew up, they revelled in calling their school a “cow college” and started the tradition of ringing cowbells at their ballgames. NCAA stepped in and said the noise level was too high, so cowbells were banned.
Then the University of Mississippi was on the chopping block. The “Ole Miss Rebels” didn’t have a prayer when the PC Police raided them. The Confederate battle flag and the mascot “Colonel Reb” are gone, in spite of support for both school symbols from the student body (yes, both black and white students).
Now, a private college, Mississippi College (the Choctaws) are under this new sanction. Much like the Seminoles in Florida, the Choctaw Indian Tribal Council here has long since given the school their blessing. Doubly ironic because the biggest Indian School (don’t jump my case–they still call themselves “Indians” down here) in the state, Choctaw Central, have had one mascot since the founding of their school. That mascot? Why the Warriors, of course.
In its quest for “absolute PC” the NCAA has stepped on its schlong before, but probably never quite this efficiently.
Ignore the kool-aid kids, Jeff. You’re spot-on on this one.
The Yeshiva University sports teams are called the Maccabees.
If they get started on animal mascots, Texas schools are in a world of hurt.
Rice Owls
Houston Cougars
Texas A & M Kingsville Javalinas (wild pig)
Texas Longhorns
SMU Mustangs
TCU Horned Frogs
Lot’s of human supremacists down here I tell you.
What’re you talking about? I’m a small fry, but I linked it! Your serious posts are great. You’re a good writer and a thinker who comes at things from a different direction.
Just for that, I’m finally using a smiley
take THAT.
Here in New York, Siena College changed their team name from the Indians to the Saints (it’s a Catholic school) a couple of years ago.
The “Indians” – what in Sam Hell is so offensive about that? Last time I checked, the Redskins are still playing …
And you can’t smoke in bars here anymore.
Cripes this state is starting to suck.
So, which should we choose as our new mascot? The Giant Douche or the Turd Sandwich?
Ditto with regards to being burnt out on the sheer idiocy of this issue. Many cars in my town still bear a bumper sticker reading “Save the Indian” from the battle waged to save our high school mascot.
I refuse to use the term “Native American.” It implies that I am not a Native American. I know from research that my ancestors came here 250 years ago, worked and sweated and suffered for the life I have. It’s an insult to their memory to imply I’m foreign to the land that they developed and turned into the greatest nation on earth. Give me a specific tribe and I’ll call an Indian that, but not Native American.
Wait, it gets worse:
Should the Bad Ass Hebrews be called the Desert Eagles just to piss on gun control subset of society.
You know what I find sourly hilarious about this is that I am an Indian, and we (1) don’t usually say Native American either, that’s usually a sign that we’re talking to some clueless white librul, and (2) we’ve got a long tradition of using totems for our own groups or clans, and I don’t actually know any real Indians who object to being totem objects for white people to adore and venerate.
So how many Indians does it take to screw in a light bulb, Jeff?
One. Two if it’s a really high ceiling and he needs someone else to steady the ladder while he screws it into the socket.
Wasn’t it George Carlin that pointed out the name “The Fighting Irish” as derogatory… and then asked that if that name was okay, how come there wasn’t a team called “The Bargaining Jews”?
Because no one seems too keen on any of the serious stuff I write
Commenting on that stuff takes too much, you know, thinking, and sometimes that makes my brain hurt. It’s much easier to make ass jokes. But it always makes for interesting reading. Really. (ducks and covers.)
Jeff, you know I am very keen on your serious stuff.
It’s my daily cerebral exercise.
RELIGIONIST! SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!
SW: “lack”, as in “of a sense of humor”.
As part Cherokee, I am offended, offended I say. Brands doesn’t go far enough. Any school that uses a placename that is derived from a Indian tribe should hunted down and..uh…banned I mean. Places like Ohio State, the rat bastards.
I propose that all schools should have corporate sponsors. Like the Uconn Huskies (which of course mixes indians with dogs the evil pukes) could become the General Electrics. U of Illinois could become the IBM’s with the patented Offal half time show. And even the NCAA could get in the act and sponsor its own team, the NCAA Flaming Assholes. I would like to see them play the IBM’s for a truly intereting half-time show.
EVEN better fans of IBM can leave bags of flaming gifts on their opponents front steps. Trust me, college highjinx-popapolooza, fun had by all.
But what is the NCAA gonna do if the Zia corporation wants to sponsor a team. Oh well.
Like they even have electricity.
’It’s worth pointing out that Magwah really got the short end of the tomahawk in ‘Last of the Mohicans’ … ‘
I believe he got the war club, at least in the movie.