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a CITIZEN JOURNALIST augments FOXNews’ thorough coverage of Hurricane Dennis’ savage sweep up the panhandle of Florida

High winds, lots of rain, lots of broken tree limbs littering roads and property.  My CITIZEN JOURNALIST’S INSTICTS tell me to expect more of same—including lots of broken shutters and some light flooding—until the storm passes.  Developing…

related:  Despite its ferocious category 3 pounding of the Gulf Coast, Hurricane Dennis has brought with it no sign of missing Alabama teen Natalee Holloway—though, for what it’s worth, Florida residents interviewed for this CITIZEN JOURNALIST report insist it’s likely that sharks continue to PLAGUE the Atlantic Ocean like so many muscular prehistoric eating machines.

****

update:  Angered by the devastation wrought by what he’s calling an “out of control” storm, Bill O’Reilly is insisting Florida Governor Jeb Bush shut down the state’s Department of Children and Families and fire State Attorney Brad King for “his outrageous refusal to prosecute the pinheads who aided John Couey in Jessica Lunsford’s abduction and murder.” Mr O’Reilly further demanded that the president place National Guard troops along the Mexican border, “because that’s what the folks in Florida want.  Seriously.  My website had a poll.”

21 Replies to “a CITIZEN JOURNALIST augments FOXNews’ thorough coverage of Hurricane Dennis’ savage sweep up the panhandle of Florida”

  1. Mark says:

    Have you noticed that CNN and MSNBC’s converage includes viewer videos and photgraphs that they run under a segment both networks call CITIZEN JOURNALIST REPORTS?

    CNN may need some CITIZEN JOURNALISTS since Anderson Cooper looks like he is going to be blown out to sea any second.

  2. Major John says:

    So nothing on the ostriches, huh?  Maybe the sharks got ‘em…

  3. stormy70 says:

    WHAT SAY YOU?

  4. harrison says:

    ’cause, ya know, it’s the only thing important on the planet right now.

    Q: How are a redneck divorce and a Gulf Coast hurricane similar?

    A: Somebody’s gonna lose a trailer.

  5. Patricia says:

    “My CITIZEN JOURNALIST’S INSTICTS tell me to expect more of same—”

    But of course, including the requisite shot of Geraldo in hooded rain gear leaning into the perfect storm!!

  6. Sean M. says:

    You’re spinning!

  7. me says:

    Spinning AND on drugs.

  8. Michael says:

    You are totally out of control.  I like that.

  9. CraigC says:

    “This just in:  Hurricanes have high winds and rain that cause a lot of property damage, and in some cases, death.  Back to you, Bob.”

  10. Gamer says:

    I you have ever been in Southern California after an earthquake, you would be familiar with this type of reporting.

    Desk anchor (2 minutes after earthquake): yep, there has been an earthquake, but we don’t know where or how strong. And to recap…

  11. Sean M. says:

    I live in SoCal, so I know it firsthand.  They spend 20-30 minutes on the fact that there’s been an earthquake, find the epicenter, and then continue to pre-empt normal programming (in spite of the fact that there were no deaths or injuries and no property damage) until they get someone from Cal Tech to downgrade the magnitude and confirm that there were no deaths or injuries and no property damage.

    FUCK THAT NOISE!!!  WE WANT CAR CHASES THAT END VIOLENTLY!!!

    (AND AN UPDATE ON NATALEE!!!)

  12. Desert Cat says:

    Y’know the funniest thing is not so much the CITIZEN JOURNALIST thing (though credit where due there), but that the MSM sounds just as inane doing that very thing.  When the CITIZEN JOURNALIST discovers how little effort is actually required to simulate the “real thing”, it makes the MSM look pretty foolish.  And then the whole house of cards comes a’tumbling down.

    “PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!!!”

    Heh.

    Turing Word: ‘medical’.  Forgot my meds…

  13. We should remember where the whole Joe Wilson/Valerie Plame story started:

    * * *

    “Valerie Plame should be ‘frog-marched’ out of Washington”

    “… Joe Wilson’s wife is not a foreign spy – she’s a desk jockey at Langley (with a cushy place in Georgetown) who’s responsible for … wait for it … tracking down WMD for our country!”

    “Why on earth did someone with that very important responsbility pre-judge the Niger-Iraq-yellowcake story as “this crazy story”? I mean, its only our national security and stuff – no biggie.”

    “Someone let Val Plame know:  the Niger-Iraq-yellowcake “crazy story” turned out to be true.”

    “How many other WMD leads has Ms. Plame given short shrift? Do you know about any more “crazy” WMD leads, Val? Maybe you should go look at those files again. Does her high security clearance prevent her from getting fired for not giving a whit about national security risks for which she’s the responsbile agent?”

    “Not only did Ms. Plame dismiss one of the key pieces of intelligence regarding Iraq potentially creating the Arab bomb – she successfuly recommended her gadfly husband to be the sole investigator to go check out the lead! How many millions of dollars go to the CIA for intelligence gathering each year? And yet the only person we have to send to Niger to see if Saddam is building a nuke is … the house husband of an agent at Langley?”

    “What’s next? Will Valerie Plame send the family golden retriever to look for missle silos in North Korea?”

    “This is the real story that the mainstream press won’t touch with a ten-foot-pole. What heads should roll at Langley for entrusting our national security to the whims of the Wilson-Plame family travelogue?”

    * * *

    Unbelievable.  Shameful.  Putting nepotism above national security.

    Fire Valerie Plame now.  She’s a very real risk to our national security.

    -nikita demosthenes

  14. MC says:

    Bill’s site had a poll? Damn…

  15. Sean M. says:

    I’ll give you the last word.

  16. jso says:

    Hooper: Mr. Vaughan, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, er… an eating machine. It’s really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that’s all.

    spamblock: eyes

    LIKE A DOLLS EYES

  17. Paul Zrimsek says:

    What is this ceaselessly rotating weather system doing in the No-Spin Zone?

  18. mojo says:

    Was there a hurricane?

    I musta missed the coverage somehow.

  19. Carin says:

    What this story really needs is a GAY PORN COCK OF LIES.

  20. MarkD says:

    Who is this O’Reilly guy anyway?  Dan Rather never told me to listen to him.  The voices in my head aren’t telling me to listen to him either.  (Must be the tin foil.)

    We can’t send the golden retriever to North Korea, he’s needed in Iraq…

    Sorry, just sick to death of last year’s non-news.

  21. B Moe says:

    And still nobody will talk about the torture in Florida storm shelters.

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