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obligatory mention of the biggest non-scandal to have grandstanding Democrats calling for firings (and, in the case of some politically retarded partisans, the impeachment of a non-elected official) since, well, the last time they tried pulling this same stupid stunt

them:  “The lesson here is that a patriot like Joe Wilson who dares speak out against Bush policy needs to be aware that Bush’s pack of pit bulls is going to come right after his wife, even if it means they will treasonously out her as a covert agent along with the entire network of covert agents who worked and are working with her!  Joe should have remembered that their first loyalty is not to the United States, that no treachery was too great for them in the defense of W’04!”

me:  “Uh huh.  Say, could you put some extra ketchup in the bag for my fries, please?”

40 Replies to “obligatory mention of the biggest non-scandal to have grandstanding Democrats calling for firings (and, in the case of some politically retarded partisans, the impeachment of a non-elected official) since, well, the last time they tried pulling this same stupid stunt”

  1. Scott P says:

    I like the “Nadagate” moniker the Times hung on it.  I can’t believe they’ve published something that is so.  Well, fair.

  2. BumperStickerist says:

    well, that Justoneminute comment was the precise moment when the lightbulb went off and I thought – ‘meh, the hell with it.’

    I think the easier route to take would be for conservatives, neo-cons, South Park Cons to just be as evil as these dopes think they are rather than try to convince them otherwise.

    Hail Karl!

  3. Jeff Goldstein says:

    I hear you.  Which is why every Sunday morning I get up and do SUV laps around my block for an hour, just to melt the polar ice caps a bit.

  4. corvan says:

    I just got the super-secret ‘specially coded message over the clothes-line and tin can telephone.  Herr Rove says the heat is off.  We can go back to sliming Joe Wilson now.

  5. gail says:

    I threw aluminum cans and plastic bottles into the REGULAR GARBAGE this morning, just to destroy the environment.

  6. stormy70 says:

    What is thy bidding, my Master Rove?

  7. stormy70 says:

    I just leave my SUV running in the driveway. What are polar ice caps? If they aren’t in America, then I don’t care.

  8. Matt Moore says:

    I killed a couple of hobos today. I hate the poor!

  9. TomB says:

    Spotted. Owl. Barbecue.

    (tastes like chicken)

  10. Michael says:

    On my way to the polling station to vote for Bush, I ran down a dog with my SUV just for fun.  The little girl who was with the dog started crying as I drove away.

    Heh.

  11. Michael says:

    I guess that sounds cruel, but only because I forgot to mention that the little girl was wearing a Gore button.  So, she deserved it.

  12. Stephen says:

    From PowerLine: “…Cooper is married to Democratic Party strategist Mandy Grunwald. Is that fact relevant to Cooper’s “burning” of Karl Rove? It is relevant to Cooper’s reasons for disclosing two of his Plame “sources,” but declining to disclose the others? Who knows? But isn’t this information that the media ought to supply so that we can intelligently evaluate Cooper’s actions and motivations?”

  13. Scott P says:

    Michael-

    If the little girl was from a poor minority group and you didn’t at least try to hit her too, you’re out. 

    We Rovians will tolerate incompetence, but decent human behavior is to be eradicated at all costs.

  14. Michael says:

    Scott:

    Well, now that you mention it, she looked kinda brown, and her clothes were not up to GapKids standards.  And all I did was aim at the frigging dog.

    I’m so ashamed.  I feel dirty.  Please don’t report me to Herr Rove.  Please please give me another chance.

  15. Michael says:

    Do I get any points for the fact that my SUV is a Ford Explorer (Eddie Bauer edition) with a big V8 that gets about 14 miles per gallon?  C’mon.  I’m screwing that polar ice big time.

  16. Jeff Goldstein says:

    You lose points for having a Ford Explorer.  God, how I hate those trucks (and believe me, I have a hard time even calling them trucks, the glorified station wagons…).

  17. Robert says:

    My contribution to evil:

    I drive a Volvo with Nader bumper stickers, and I cut people off in traffic, throw garbage at homeless people, and spit on the flag while doing it.

    You gotta be sneaky, sometimes.

  18. Michael says:

    You lose points for having a Ford Explorer.  God, how I hate those trucks (and believe me, I have a hard time even calling them trucks, the glorified station wagons…).

    Hey!  F**k you!  It’s a truck.  It’s built on the Ford F-series pickup chassis, not a car frame.  And my model (2001) was the last year that they had the big V8, and before they hunkered it down to avoid rollover issues.  Plus, I got all-wheel drive and the tow package.  I’ve been on Class 4 trails in Colorado with this sucker, where normally you only see little jeeps, ATVs, and dirt bikes (my kids were scared shitless).

    F**k you!

  19. And as bad as Ford Explorer’s are … Eddie Bauer?  That’s so gay.

    Not that there is anything wrong with a gay truck …

  20. Michael says:

    Robin:

    You got me there.  The Eddie Bauer appointments are kind of gay.  I mean, the colors sooo work together.  Not that I’m, like, insecure about that or anything.  Cuz I’m a real macho kind of guy.  The soft, tender caress of those leather seats against my plump white ass, well, that means nothing to me.  It’s all about the V8.

  21. Sean M. says:

    Careful, there macho guy.  You may want to ixnay on talking about the “tender caress” of leather against your ass.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  22. Jeff Goldstein says:

    I’m a Jeep and Land Cruiser guy myself.  But hey, if the Explorer floats your boat (and it had better, because it ain’t made to tow it, that’s for sure), well, go for it, soccer mom!

  23. McGehee says:

    Anything with four doors is NOT a truck.

    And my Bronco gets 13 miles to the gallon.

    “14 mpg.” Pussy.

  24. Robert says:

    You want to drive a man’s car? Drive this.

  25. ed says:

    Hmmm.

    I sneak around malls in New Jersey and put “So what if I drive drunk.  Go F*** yourself copper!” stickers over the “Kerry/Edwards ‘04” stickers.

    Is that evil enough?

  26. SeanH says:

    My father-in-law turned 73 yeasterday.  For my evil deed I took all his medicine away this afternoon.

  27. Michael says:

    For my evil deed I took all his medicine away this afternoon.

    That’s not evil.  That’s a good deed.  Ask Tom Cruise.

  28. Darleen says:

    Oh crap… I sold my 72 Mustang Mach II (V8 dual carb 350 Cleveland – 12 miles/gal)

    How many Hail Karl’s do I have to say for penance?

  29. Darleen says:

    ouch… Mach I

    damned cheap gin…

  30. Sean M. says:

    Well, I drive a Honda Accord, but it’s a V-6, so, you know, fewer miles per gallon than the 4 cylinder model.  Plus, I drive around with the air conditioner on, like, all the time.

    Okay, I got nuthin’.  Plus, my TW is “peace.” Could I be a bigger pussy?

  31. tachyonshuggy says:

    When can we start calling a Rove rope-a-dope a “Hot Karl?”

  32. Sinequanon says:

    Doing a chorus of Karen Carpenter dedicated to the “unknown faceless nameless poster” that talks to self:

    Talking to myself and feeling olddddddddddddddddd,

    Sometimes I’d like to quit,

    Nothing ever seems to fit,

    Hanging around

    Nothing to do but frown….

    (ok, this part doesn’t fit so good)

    Rainy days and Mondays always get me downnnnnnnnnn…

    Well the down part works.

    (Can’t believe I remembered the words to that pop song from the 80s…must be due to Jeffs 80s movie list)

  33. Sinequanon says:

    That Eddie Bauer edition think is soooooooooo Passe’

  34. Sinequanon says:

    I just knew you could see all sides to an issue Jeff.  I’m so proud (wiping tears from my eyes)!

  35. Joe says:

    Hey!  F**k you!  It’s a truck.  It’s built on the Ford F-series pickup chassis, not a car frame.

    Well, you’re half right, Michael. But your Exploder is built on the Ranger truck chassis, not the F150. The Expedition is built on the F150 frame.

    Now get that wimpy piece of shit out of my way before I run my Suburban right over your pansified Eddie Bauer ass. cool cheese

  36. Major John says:

    So if I really wanted to be evil, I should have brought an uparmored HMMV home, yes?  Lousy mileage, big and rude, plus I could be depriving the troops (who are supported by the caring other-side-of-the-aisle folks, by the way)of something the uncaring Bushitlerians wouldn’t let them have anyway!

  37. BumperStickerist says:

    In the ‘I like my irony straight up, with a twist’ department, the press’s amicus brief pointed out that Valerie Plame cover was compromised on two separate occasions. 

    One time was in the early-mid 90s, the source being a spy from the Moscow, the second occurence came when documents were not secured in Cuba and contents, which mentioned Ms. Plame’s status, were read by the Cubans.

    This moves the entire field of play over into Mr. Goldstein’s professional territory – Did Rove know that the CIA knew that the Cubans Knew that Valerie’s NOC status was compromised?

    As such, at the time Rove made his statements tp reporters, in his mind, was Karl outing the super-secret status of one of America’s top undercover operatives to the Prince of Darkness for political revenge? ….. of course he was.  He’s Karl Rove.

    If this amicus brief pans out and the stinking press knew that Plame was no longer an asset and the CIA asked Rove to not mention her name to avoid embarrasing itself … screw it.

    I’m done with the Press in its entirety.  The next 3 years can go by on autopilot, Bush can motherfucking videotape me and everybody else at the public library, check records, take DNA samples while I’m driving through Wendy’s, whatever.  Fuck it. 

    Fuck libertarianism.  Fuck South Park, Hank Hill, and every other animated analogy to politcal trend.

    Face reality – We’ll all sleep safer in the warm embrace of our Rovian Fascistopia.  Let the snits and whines of the Left be as the hum of crickets during our slumber.

    ironically, the Turing word is ‘freedom’

    I shit thee not.

  38. Matt says:

    My Rovian mission is simply to identify Americans with John Kerry bumper stickers still on their car, pull up next to them, roll down my window, smile really friendly so they’ll roll down their’s and say “Hey, I see you have a John Kerry sticker on your car.  Did you know he was in Vietnam?”

    Then roll up my window and drive away, aiming my gas guzzling monstrousity at every child and senior citizen in reach.

  39. Zashkaser says:

    I don’t get it, what do you mean by the 3rd paragraph?

  40. Defiterka says:

    ??? ?… ? ????? ?????? ?????????. ????, ?????, ???????? ? ?????? ????????, ??? ??? ?? ???????????.

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