—Please, cut the little fella some slack, willya? He’s a Jew, and this whole Conyers thing has him really shaken. In fact, I caught him in the bathroom with a jar of rubber cement earlier this afternoon trying to reattach his foreskin.
Which, to be honest, I had no idea he’d even saved the damn thing— but you gotta admit, it’s starting to look like a wise play…
Who knew the little one had been circumlocuted?
Now I know why you’re dragging your heels, getting into online vending. You’re waiting for Cafe Press to be able to make bobblehead armadillo dolls!
Turing = ones, as in If I were in the market for bobblehead armadillo dolls, Jeff’s would be the ones!
Maybe he saw this: http://www.4restore.com/? Evidently it is a longer process than just some glue. Also, if you find “surgical tape, paper and a suspender belt” or evidence of “attaching the mouthpiece of a tuba, trombone or Sousaphone”, you know he wants a more permanent solution.
<regretting the google search that found me that stuff>
Jesus, I went to that website and it said something about 100% stainless steel. Who would want a 100% stainless steel foreskin? That’s just fucking wrong.
Conyers had better have the little neo-con shaken! I mean, the armadillo lied and people died!
See, Sparkie’s not the only one who can drop the F bomb.
And such a functional F bomb it was too, gail.
Hey, we want armadillo dance action! You know what the maximum effective range of an excuse is? Zero meters…Oh no, please God – I cannot believe I actually used that expression… Sorry ‘bout that, armadillo. You just do what you need to do, I’m going to go out and beat myself senseless with a mostly empty shiraz bottle.
Hmmm.
“market for bobblehead armadillo dolls”
As long as it’s not armadillo dildoes. Or would that be armadildoes?
Disturbing.
Who would want a 100% stainless steel foreskin?
Destro.
SW: He’s “usually” thwarted by G.I. Joe.
Gail’s F bomb was well-warranted.
Did anyone look at the instructions for that steel torture device? You tape it on and leave it on all day.
This post’s ranking on my list of “things I’ve read today which generated a mental image that I could have done without”: #1. Protein Wisdom delivers the goods.
“Stainless Steel Foreskin”. I think I have their album.
Y’all gotta watch Bullshit! (it’s the Penn & Teller thing on Showtime). They actually show some anti-circumcision freak (“I mourned for my foreskin!”) taping this bizarre barbell to his cock.
You know, “gotta watch” is probably too strong.
I imagine you gotta close your eyes at some points.
Hmmm.
That’s nothing. I watched a documentary, in absolute horror, as some Indian yogi rolled his penis around a piece of wood and then proceeded to stretch and pull the damn thing out.
I don’t know if he lengthened it or something, or why he did it at all for that matter. All I know is that I was feeling sympathy pain just watching it.
ugh.