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My nineteenth brief conversation with a McIntosh apple

me: “You ever get really lonely, apple?”

apple: “Lonely?”

me: “Yeah. I mean, d’you ever just look around you and think, ‘there’s got to be more to life than this…?’”

apple: “Not really, no –”

me: “– more to it than just sitting around all day, watching tv, eating snack foods, waiting to grow old and die…”

apple:

me:

apple: “Out of Funyons again, are you –?”

me: “– I EXIST, UNIVERSE!”

14 Replies to “My nineteenth brief conversation with a McIntosh apple”

  1. Diana says:

    Here’s something that might help.

  2. Diana says:

    “Promoting the welfare of un-caressed chickens is not the only goal here.”

  3. Alpha Baboon says:

    … and at that exact instant, from its long hidden resting place beneath the lunar impact crater Tycho, an alien artifact with a dimension ratio of exactly 1X4X9 transmits a high energy signal toward Jupiter, announcing that the hairy, promiscuous, lice eating, crap slinging animals that have inhabited the cool blue world adjacent the moon fro millennia have finally evolved enough to grasp the true purpose of their existence.. specifically.. To sit around all day.. To watch TV (preferably ‘70s movie on DVD).. To eat snack foods.. To grow old.. To die.

    Having answered God’s great cosmic riddle, the purpose of creation has been fulfilled… and

    the stars begin to dissappear one by one..

    Turing word: called

    As in: Clarke, Heinlein and Goldstein called.. They want their original ideas back …

  4. SeanH says:

    Mmmmm.  Funyons.

  5. Diana says:

    TWO MILLION AND FIVE!!

  6. Alpha Baboon says:

    a Multi-Millionaire..

  7. Alpha Baboon says:

    Oops.. guess only Clarke and Goldstein called to get their original material back… My mistake.

  8. Scott P says:

    2 Million plus, Jeff.  Nice one!!!

  9. Alpha Baboon says:

    “– I EXIST, UNIVERSE!”

    Jean-Paul Sartre: “… and I am nauseated by that fact..”

  10. harrison says:

    Apples make good snack food.

  11. Joe@CF says:

    Cool. Fruity existentialism.

  12. maggiekatzen says:

    i’ve been wondering about that lately. usually i just go take a nap.

  13. Forty-two!

    [because someone had to get it said and out of the way.]

Comments are closed.