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“Did you catch the latest bit of revisionist nonsense being trumpeted by the white Establishment press? The Keetoowah Cherokees—my Keetoowah Cherokees—released a statement yesterday suggesting all my past, present and future claims to Keetoowah ancestry are deemed fraudulent and ‘should be respected by all media, government and private institutions to be so.’ Can you believe that shit? Sneaky Keetoowah motherfuckers probably traded my reputation for a casino deal and some shiny beads.”* | |
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“Probably. At any rate, looks like you’re gonna have to change your Indian name. How do you feel about ‘Dances with No Rhythm to the Ballads of Dan Fogelberg’?”* |
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(h/t Terry Hastings)
BINGO!
Shit. I had BINGO, too.
… but, I win pie!
Uh… you guys aren’t going to start doing that First ! thing, are you ?
I’ve been indisposed for a bit. Can someone please explain the BINGO deal? If it’s really, really obvious, please email me privately.
Thanks, Diana.
Don’t go stealing my Indian name.
Dude, publish a book already.
I mean, come on, look at Ott and Lileks. Get with the program!
“Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking?”
Hmmm.
Ok One-Man-Bucket.
WELL! Someone we know is posting over at [url=”http://huffingtonstoast.com/” target=”_blank” class=”text”]Huffinton’s toast!
[/url]
And as Peter Fonda no less! How well I remember that story. Tell me Jeff, why not nipples? Did they MAKE you change it to jugs? Cuz nipples were a whole lot sexier…
They make me change a lot of things. They do not like my potty mouth.
so jugs was cleaner than nipples???..LOL!!!!!!
I mean nipples are an actual body part named as such. Jugs are like name calling. Heh.
HEY!! You changed it back. Did you do that just for lil ole me??????
I’m a giver…
But not an indian-giver?
Actually the best quote of Ward “Con-man” Churchill in the paper was his complaint that the tribe was “rewriting history”. This evidently infuriated Churchill the most because he believes only he gets to do that.
Craig and Jake, thanks for hitting on the farkle blog. I don’t think he is even checking the comments.
From the article:
And as for any challenges to his tribal membership, he wrote, “Go ahead, make my day.”
Um, Ward, that’s a line that a guy who often pretended to be a Cowboy has been traditionally associated with. I could be mistaken, but I don’t think Clint ever portrayed an Indian.
Perhaps you could use something from Nevada Smith. I mean, blond and blue-eyed Steve McQueen was at least as plausible as part-Indian as you are.
On the other hand, you could use a quip like “Birdie num-nums.” Peter Sellers really sold himself as an Indian with a line like that.
Cue theme music, “one tin foil hatter rides awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…”
Don’t indians scalp you as part of the disavowment ceremony? That would be really fun … we can only hope.
I thought I saw Jeff’s touch there (figuratively speaking, of course; I don’t know if he’s actually touched Barbara Boxer’s nips).
The name the Bay Area Indians gave him is best: Walking Eagle. Because he’s too full of %$#@ to fly.