8 Replies to “Wednesday night musings, #93”

1. JWebb says:

   May 26, 2005 at 4:05 am

   It was probably from washing them with that soap-on-a-rope included in the Old Spice Special Holiday Men’s Personal Grooming Kit that you got for Christmas six years ago.

2. JWebb says:

   May 26, 2005 at 4:08 am

   On the other hand, were you in a bus station recently?

3. Sean M. says:

   May 26, 2005 at 4:41 am

   No matter how hard you stomp, the broccoli wine just ain’t gonna happen, dude. 

   And, anyway, it just shouldn’t.

4. Beck says:

   May 26, 2005 at 7:21 am

   JWebb–that reminds me of one of the weirdest things I’ve ever witnessed.

   Story time!

   Two friends and I, while going to college in DC, decided to head up to New York.  We didn’t’ have much money (or a car) so we took a Greyhound bus.  The two friends were in the two seats in front of me, I was by myself, but across the isle from me was an extremely strange looking man of completely unidentifiable ethnic origin.  He looked vaguely like a large, bulky Mongolian.  He also looked quite poor, and had several classic homeless person signifiers (wearing lots of layers of randomly matched clothing, carrying numerous loose plastic bags full of random crap, etc…).

   Anyway, about half way through the trip, the guy to my left takes off his shoes.  No biggie, I think, hoping that they’re not noticeably odiferous.  Then he takes off his socks.  I’m a little unhappy about that, but am certainly not going to confront the guy.  Then he rolls up his pants above his knees.

   Seriously.

   Then it gets weirder.  And weirder.

   He then pulls a plastic bag out of one of his many pockets.  The bag is full of lots of other plastic bags.  He spends a solid 15 minutes going through them, evidently evaluating them for various arcane plastic-bag evaluation criteria of which I am unaware.  Finally he picked two, re-bagged the rest, and tucked them back in his pocket.

   Naturally, he then puts one bag over each foot, and sets his feet on the floor.  I’m watching this all out of this out of the corner of my eye with increasing fascination.  “What,” I think to myself, “could he possibly do to top that?”

   He reaches into another pocket and pulls out what looks like a bottle of Listerine that has had the labels pulled off (it was half-full of green fluid, and the bottle was just the right size and shape for Listerine–I’m fairly positive that that’s exactly what it was).

   He unscrews the cap, and begins scrubbing his legs down with the green fluid, using one of his dirty socks as a wash rag.  I couldn’t believe it.  I was completely mystified.  Here this guy was, washing his legs.  With Listerine and a dirty sock.  While his feet were in plastic bags.  On the I-95 corridor Greyhound bus.

   It was quite possibly the oddest behavior I’ve ever observed in an individual in my life.

   Once he was done, he put away the Listerine, took off the bags, put them back in the bag-full-of-bags which then vanished into his pocket again, put his (now wet) socks back on, and donned his shoes.  But he left his pants rolled up until we got to New York.

   I shit you not.

5. Sissy Willis says:

   May 26, 2005 at 2:34 pm

   Trackback didn’t take:  The Blogger’s Condition

6. SarahW says:

   May 26, 2005 at 3:09 pm

   Well, I’m told you should put a drop of vanilla in each rubber wader. You probably forgot.

7. LargeBulkyMongolianBusRider says:

   May 26, 2005 at 4:26 pm

   you should see me wash my penis.

   turing word : stop

   obvious!

8. Jugnut says:

   May 26, 2005 at 5:29 pm

   You and the Jolly Green Giant REALLY need to tone down the kinkiness.

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