Not today he won’t. The sneaky bastard convinced our GP to prescribe him a week’s worth of Viagra, and as a result he spent the better part of this afternoon tearing through the house with an erection, trying to shag the dog.
As punishment, I’ve got him inputting some of my VHS tapes into the Mac so that I can burn them to disc. I just hope the little fucker doesn’t get any ideas and wind up with his ‘dillo stiffy caught in one of the the firewire ports again.
Be careful. He’s probably blind too and who knows where he’ll try and stick that thing.
Good luck on that. Any port in a storm, you know.
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Sell him at Cafe Press as an armadildo.
I was gonna say, just let him do it til he needs glasses.
gail, that’s so crazy it just might work.
I was surprised to learn that Dasypus Novemicinctus, possesses an erect penis that is one third the length of its body.
Match him up with the chameleon, whose tongue can be one and a half times the length of its body, and I bet they’ll never leave the house.
Hey, has the armadillo ever actually, you know, danced? All I remember is a bitter string of broken promises.
(I’m a lot like Ward Churchill in that way. That, and I’m also as white as the driven snow.)
Convinced the GP to prescribe him Viagra? Sure. We believe you. No, no. Really. Don’t explain. We believe you.
I have pulmonary hypertension.
Missed Life Lessons, Episode I
“I just hope the little fucker doesn’t get any ideas and wind up with his ‘dillo stiffy caught in one of the the firewire ports again.”
Key word: again.
I think I’d be a little more worried about ‘dillo spooge in the DVD drive, but then, I don’t have pulmonary hypertension.
And as far as dancing goes, well, let’s just say things were better around here when we had the monk..mmmpplfff …
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Yes, Oceana has always been at war with Eastasia. Why do you ask ?
When was the armadillo convicted of a sex crime in New York State? I don’t remember hearing about that.
You know.. Little short Armadillo arms cant reach that ‘stiffy’ for any self release…. So if you find he experiences an erection lasting over 4 hours, its your duty to do something about it… I’m just saying …. you know… like the commercial.
Turing word: Dead
Thats one possibility if you dont..