The beet constitutional (a field-agent favorite among the peacoat-wearing cloak and dagger set): Take one uncooked sugar beet (Beta vulgaris) and square the broad end by trimming the root and 1/2” of beet from the tuber’s base. Using a 1 3/4” sloyd wood carving knife, gently scoop small layers* of beet flesh from the center of the newly squared top and set the shavings aside. Repeat until the hollowed-out center is roughly 1-1/4” deep and 1” wide. Insert one or two sugar cubes (to taste).
In a small dish, combine the beet shavings with two teaspoons lemon juice (fresh or concentrate) and mash into a paste. Spoon the mashed beet and juice mixture into the beet hollow, and top with 2 oz. chilled vodka. Enjoy!
*to prevent bruising
Polish off with a shooter of Mezcal mixed with tomato sauce from canned sardines.
This is a raw beet, right?
Mule Stomper:
In a shot glass, first shake out a good 10-15 drops of Tabasco, then add Worcestershire sauce ‘til the shot glass is roughly 1/4 to 1/3 full. Fill it most of the way up with tequila, and finally, top it off with some 151.
Serve with a glass of ice water on the side.
Goes down smooth, leaves an after taste of steak sauce, gets you drunk as a skunk, assuming that the skunk has been drinking a lot.
Gail —
Correct, thanks. Uncooked. Yes.
Beck—
Sounds good. Have you ever had a really good Chili Beer? Like getting drunk on nachos. And when I was in Bamberg Germany, the town’s brewery specialized in an amazing smoke beer, which was very good and a bit like drinking a salami.
Doesn’t anybody just drink a gin and tonic or a whisky and soda anymore? Sheesh.
“*to prevent bruising”
To Whom?
Good question. The answer is “Mike Farrell.”
I’ve had Crazy Ed’s Cave Creek Chili beer, which I remember thinking was really good, but I was already pretty drunk by the time I tipped it back.
Another good one, if you like dark beers, is Pyramid Espresso Stout. There’s no actual coffee in it, but they char the hops–gives it a sort of French Roast flavor.
There’s a Chinese brewery that makes a ginseng beer. Word to the wise: avoid ginseng beer unless you enjoy a beverage reminiscent of licking a sweaty armpit.
’Good question. The answer is “Mike Farrell.‒
I should have known that – Bela Kiss was my first guess. I like your answer better.
Bela Kiss didn’t even place. “Tim Russert” and “Alfonso Soriano” were the other contenders.