The female U.S. reservist soldier who posed before naked Iraqi prisoners as they were being abused at Abu Ghraib will plead guilty to seven of nine charges against her, her lawyer said on Friday.
Lynndie England, 22, became the face of the Iraq prisoner abuse scandal after photos of her posing before humiliated Iraqi prisoners were published last year. One showed her holding an Iraqi detainee on a leash.
She will agree on Monday at Fort Hood, Texas to a plea deal that could bring a maximum sentence of 11 years, her lawyer Capt. Jonathan Crisp told Reuters.
Ah, Lynndie. The name brings back a lot of fond blogging memories, doesn’t it?
Okay, not really. But it does give me a chance to re-post an old top 10 list, from the days before I moved to the 9-item list format. From May 14, 2004:
Top 10 Lynndie England Excuses and/or Dinosaurs
10. Pachycephalosaurus
9. “I thought those were corn dogs. And I love corn dogs.”
8. “Wait, you said ‘secure and detain’? Because it sounded like you said ‘put together a circle jerk, film it, then burn it onto a DVD.’”
7. Carcharodontosaurus
6. “Oh, I see: it’s okay to liberate Iraqis, but try liberating a few American nipples and all of sudden you’ve committed a crime…?”
5. “I thought those were salamis. And I love salamis.”
4. Hylaeosaurus
3. “I know it might seem strange to non-military personnel, but a standard PsyOps technique is to get wildly fucked by multiple partners, photograph it, then blame the ‘chain of command.’ For some reason, that really really demoralizes incarcerated Ba’athists.”
2. “Abu Ghraib, grab Abu…it’s a common mistake for a dyslexic. Did I mention that I’m a dyslexic? “
1. (Tie) Tyrannosaurus Rex; “I tripped and fell and accidentally landed on some erect penises.”
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story
Like b-cup breasts, your humor is so totally underappreciated.
“I tripped and fell and accidentally landed on some erect penises.â€Â
I think she would still be liable for any damages incurred even if she were blown off a roof by a strong wind and landed on the erect penises, extrapolating from the Gemara–(Bava Kama 27a).
[I cannot believe I actually researched that]
OT – Any suggestions on removing a fifty-fifty mix of orange juice and vodka from a computer monitor screen without damaging the anti-glare coating? Thank you in advance. . .
I would suggest trampling it in Fuller’s Earth, soaking it in stale urine, and brining up the nub by rubbing it with a dead hedgehog skin, but I have had a bit too much Pino Grigio to be considered doctrinally infallible.
Jeff, Kudos on “grab Abu.” That was awesome.
Someday I’m gonna marry that woman!
(Not you, Gail. You is spoken fer.)
Thank your particular belief system it wasn’t Pinot Noir.
Jeff, were you basing #1 on the oft-told story in emergency rooms about how the guy was in the shower, and accidentally sat on the (insert–hee hee–insert anal probe of your choice)?
Spam word, “above,” as in “I was above it, and then suddenly it was up my ass!”
“I was above it, and then suddenly it was up my ass!â€Â
That’s my favorite Nine Inch Nails song!
Pinot Grigio has a statistically not insignificant effect on one’s orthography, don’t it just?
Craig, There’s also a famous hypothetical legal question that’s discussed in the Talmudic literature, which I mentioned in my earlier post.T wit, if a man is blown off a rooftop by a sudden unexpected gust of wind and lands in a woman lying on the ground, is he liable for damages incurred (as he would be if the act was intentional)?
That should have been “To wit.” I wasn’t calling you a twit.
You forgot;
11 ”I thought those were Anacondas. And I love Anacondas.â€Â
12. ”I thought those were Penises. And I love Penises….. Oh.. They were ? But they were so much bigger than Charlie’s …