Kerouac: “Right. And then Ricky enters, exhausted, and shouts, ‘Hey Lucy, I’m hooooome‘—at which point Lucy comes out of the kitchen toking on some primo reefer and says something like, ‘Sure, you’re home physically, Babalu. But where are you in your mind…?”
Search
Archive Calendar
| M | T | W | T | F | S | S |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | ||||
| 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 |
| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |
| 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | |
Archives
Categories
- A Government That Can Force You to Buy Health Insurance Can Make You Do Anything (3)
- a protein wisdom philosophy primer (3)
- academics (25)
- armadillo (8)
- Friday Fiction 100 Word Challenge (51)
- from the protein wisdom conceptual series (136)
- identity politics (33)
- If Republicans Win the Senate in 2014 (1)
- in which celebraties comment on current events (67)
- language / intentionalism (88)
- legal (6)
- My brief conversations with inanimate objects (130)
- NSA / FISA (46)
- One Term to Serve, the 2012 Revival (6)
- Overheard in a Fallujah bunker (27)
- Poems from 196x, Revised by the Ghost of Richard Brauti (27)
- protein wisdom's DNC coverage (30)
- protein wisdom's RNC coverage (29)
- protein wisdom: the movie Lists (20)
- Provocateurism (16)
- real-time empirical observations (51)
- red pills found behind the sofa cushions (42)
- Scenes from my driveway (61)
- Talking back to 80s music (41)
- The Martha Stewart Chronicles (58)
- The protein wisdom interviews (10)
- The protein wisdom original poems (142)
- Uncategorized (20,046)
- Zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance, abridged (34)
Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
BINGO!
Ricky: Luuuuccyyyyy.. What have you done ? Is that the reefer I picked up from Fernando Lamas at the studio ?
Lucy: Well, Babalu, it aint Vitameatavegamin..
Kerouac: .. Or dig this… Desi comes home, walks in the door and yells “ Luuucyyyy, I’m hoooomme.” and theres like a bunch scrambling noise in the bedroom so he runs in just in time to catcha glimpse of Neal Cassady’s naked ass climbing out the window and Lucy and Ethel lying naked and sweaty on the bed smoking some primo reefer and like an empty bottle of Vitameatavegamine on the nightstand..maybe a few inhaler inserts too.
Producer: Oh.. I get it.. Its like an Art imitates Life thing, right… ?
Kerouac: You could say that…
Repetitive meme alert! They used “Hey Lucy, I’m Hooooome!” in every single episode. Talentless hacks.
Ricky (after spotting Neal Cassidy’s butt at the window): Luuuuuuuuucy! You got some splainin’to do!!!
Good one, AB.
Suddenly, the entire Fred and Ethyl Mertz ethos makes sense.
Ginsberg: Right, right, that’s great Jack, but is there any way we could, um, work Little Ricky into this scene?
Good one, CC.
You forgot the part where ricky smacks her across the mouth and everyone laughs.
“OT” but I have to say that I’m not diggin’ the new Say Anything girl. I want the bunny costume girl back again.
Thank you.
I second Daniel’s opinion on the bunny girl. She didn’t have that spaced-out 1000-mile stare featured with the current bikini girl.
In short, it’s not the outfit—it’s how the outfit is worn.
Burroughs: “Right. So Lucy and Ricky have this Mugwump infestation in their apartment, and the Mugwumps are always trying to drink Ricky’s jissom, so they–”
Desilu Producer: “Um, yeah, I think we’re trying to go for a different dynamic. More of a traditional family show, Bill.”
Burroughs: “Okay, uhh, I’ve got another one, and it’s just gonna kill at the table read.”
Desilu Producer: “…”
Burroughs: “Okay, so Lucy and Ricky ritualistically hang Fred, and they’re all naked, see–”
Desilu Producer: “Bill, you’re fired.”
I’m ever upper class high society
God’s gift to ballroom notoriety
I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say I’ve got
The biggest balls of all
I’ve got big balls
I’ve got big balls
And they’re such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he’s got big balls
And she’s got big balls
But we’ve got the biggest balls of them all
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody comes and comes again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I’ve got
Great balls of fire
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they’re held for pleasure
They’re the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It’s my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night
And I’m just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish…
Ball sucker
Sorry, couldn’t resist. Bill??
Someone ought to work up this idea of The Beatsters as sitcom writers and pitch it to Fox… This has great potential. Very funny.. Good way to start the morning.
Turing word: outside
As in: outside looking in..
AB, CC, I just can’t get enough of you guys. Keep it up.
OK Bill from INDC..I know its you behind that ‘Ultraloser’ mask… You know if youre going to use sarcasm you are required to put an ‘S’ in parenthesis after it… e.g. That was great !(S). Otherwise I cant tell if youre serious or not..
I think “ultraloser” has a promising career ahead as a movie critic for KPTM-TV in St Louis. Think of the blurbs!
Protein Wisdom is a good host for you guys.
CC I Love that song.
“You are out there man, in the ether”
I think UL is just reliving his previous life as a studio audience.
[insert laugh track here]
I guess you guys are right: Johnny Carson is an example of host in one sense of the word.
Or he could be our Host in the sense that we are parasitic alien beings from the planet Zarg.
I wanna be the parasite from the movie ’Alien‘.. The one that explodes out of the victims chest in a shower of blood and goes screeching off.. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (scary)
Yeah, but then we’d have to kill Jeff. And that would be sad.
Its better than being a tapeworm and living in his bowels… I maybe could be ok with being a liver fluke or some kind of brainworm.. but no way I’m livin’ in anyone bowels.
We should be like the worms from that episode of Futurama.
Well, there is always Buster the body crab….would that count as “melding”?
Here’s a thought experiment for you:
You are part of a large audience watching Jerry Seinfeld perform live stand-up. But every time he finishes a bit, some guy jumps up on stage and performs his version of Seinfeld’s bit.
Would you conclude that this guy is hijacking Seinfeld’s popularity so he can show off in front of a much larger audience than he could ever hope to garner on his own?
If you complained, would you be satisfied with an answer suggesting that you just ignore him?
And if you are Seinfeld, is this guy’s antics helping or hurting your career?
Ahh Geeez.. I dunno.. I never did like Seinfeld.
I guess I’d have to ask Jerry what he thought.. cuz Jerry isnt just Jerry.. He’s a corporation that exists to make money by building the popularity of his show.. If the guy in question detracts from Jerry’s show.. then I’d say it’s Jerry’s place to tell him to sit down and shut up.. Then on the other hand they say that imitations is the sincerest form of flattery. If the guy in question (and other audience participants) actually added value to the overall entertainment experience and helped grow the audience.. Then he might be good for the show. But in either case its not the business of some other idiot in the audience to decide which applies.. especially if he’s already been told by Jerry to mellow out and ignore him. The 3rd party idiot really has no horse in the race so you have to question his motives.. Is he just a shit stirrer that enjoys making problems where none exist… or what ?
So, ultraloser are you complaining about Jeff’s posters trying their hand at Jeff’s sort of humor, or are you complaining about Jeff copying the style of varous writers… ‘Cause if that’s it, Jeff can’t actually detract from Kerouac’s performance, unless you consider the tail end of decomposition to dust an unbeatable performance.
Anyway one is forcing you to read the comment section.
correction:
……no…
OOH! I KNOW!!
Ultraloser would like the comments here to consist of nothing but the following:
“Gosh Jeff, you’re such a genius! And that cat wanker Laurence sure has a blog full of crap. Keep up the good work, and don’t let your felines get hurt!
”
You know what they say about imitation…
Obviously not, DC.
…sincerest form of flattery.