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Odds, Ends

1.  Karol Sheinin reports that moderate muslims will be holding a march against terrorism in DC on May 14th.

2.  Would you, could you, in a sock?  Would you, could you, if you were to put, say, a double-layer of primo latex and maybe some decent, fruit-scented lubricant on your —

3.  Red State’s Mike Krempasky wants to introduce you to Herman Obermayer, WWII vet, epistolary writer, spectator at the Nuremberg trials, and now, blogger.

4.  Are “Gore in ‘08” bumper-stickers just around the corner?  The New Editor’s Tom Elia thinks so.  And for what it’s worth, I can’t wait to hear the puffy, lisping, evergreen titan of progressive politics stumping for the Democratic nomination—if only because his candidacy would virtually assure a Hillary outburst during the primaries in which she calls him a “pansy-assed knot-hole fingerer who tongue kisses like he’s digging for tonsil truffles.  God, how I hate that fat girly tongue of his.”

5.  I came up with a good joke about why Michael Jackson crossed the road, but I decided to hold back after I saw what happened to Bill Maher.  Hint:  In my joke, the punchline had something to do with Michael’s spotted stuff being stuck inside McCauley Culkin, who just happens to be going for ice cream and some Twizzlers.

6.  Overrated:  Michael Mann’s Collateral; underrated:  Michael Mann’s Thief.  Discuss.

23 Replies to “Odds, Ends”

  1. How does Hillary know about Gore’s “fat pink girly tongue”?  On second thoughts, don’t tell me.

  2. 3rd_Bird says:

    I guess now’s a good time for this:

    Q: What’s brown and in a baby’s diaper?

    A: Michael Jacksons hand.

  3. Finn McCool says:

    Does Collateral rate in the first place?  Please.

    Thief is basically the predecessor to Mann’s Heat, which was flawed but much better, in which the only problem was the ending, when DeNiro went against his well-established sense of ruthlessness, just to go back to the city for revenge.  They should have found a way for him to go back for love, thereby redeeming him and showing his growth, not betraying the character’s central trait.  But Mann didn’t consult me, the fool. 

    Thief is just not very good.  It’s way too heavy on the exposition, and the central character is unlikable.  Having a bad-guy protagonist is tricky business—he has to be moral (within the limited scope of the story), and there has to be someone who is worse.  See The Godfather for any and all proof.

  4. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Some people like visual “exposition”—it’s the poetry of film, in my opinion—and I didn’t find Caan’s character unlikeable so much as believably human.  And though I love Heat, it is far more “polished” than Thief, and the material suffers for it.  Thief captures that gritty realism of 70s filmmaking that I like so much. 

    Collateral had its moments, but it suffered from a predictable ending and too much star power.

  5. T Marcell says:

    Heat was better than both, but I’m not clear on what reasons exist to believe Thief was at all underrated. Both depicted cool, distanced views of an underworld but Thief seemed more parody of noir than actual exemplar.

    Upside: Collateral – Fox better than Cruise

    Thief – Caan, Prosky and Willie

    Downside:Collateral – Meandering, unsatisfactory ending.

    Thief – Tangerine Dream

  6. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Thief is underrated in that for every 1000 people who’ve seen heat, one, maybe two have seen Thief, which is far more realistic, in my estimation.

    Plus, if you at the IMDB ratings, Collateral is rated higher than Thief and about the same as Heat.

  7. CraigC says:

    To answer question number two, Jeff, not with your dick.

  8. Beto Ochoa says:

    In both movies the central characters are criminals with exceptional skills who make dumbass decisions that a criminal with exceptional skills would not make. Such is the mantra of Mssr. Mann. So what is he trying to say about himself?

  9. Finn McCool says:

    Realism Schmrealism.  I suspect you disliked Last of the Mohicans, too, despite Magua and all his bad-assness?

    Je crache a vous!

  10. T Marcell says:

    True enough on the realism, I guess, if only because of its redolence of the ‘70’s school of gritty realism (Mean Streets, et al) which preceded it. Collateral was more slick, but lacked the existential pull that drove Caan’s character–and his, unfortunate, subsequent Big Statement dialogue that is supposed to separate movies from art.

  11. Finn McCool says:

    (BTW, the je crache a vous thing is a line from Mohicans, during the penultimate confrontation before the Huron chief.  I’m not actually spitting on you.)

  12. Jeff Goldstein says:

    I saw LOTM in the theater with my girlfriend at the time and hated it.  Of course, the source material is infamously flawed (if you accept Twain’s assessment, and I’m not prepared to argue with him), so I was predisposed not to enjoy it.  Maybe a second viewing is in order.

    Unless Daniel Day Lewis still tells Madeline Stowe “I WILL find you”—in which case, I’ll wait for the cut that removes that bit of repugnantly romanticized melodrama.

  13. Carin says:

    Daniel Day Louis was just so wrong for that part. After “My Left Foot” and “Room with a View” – him as a long-haired Indian – I just couldn’t suspend my disbelief.

  14. Finn McCool says:

    He does:

    … no matter what occurs.  Submit! You hear? Survive! You’re strong. You stay alive! I will find you … no matter how far, how long it takes …

    Did I mention Magua?  The redeption of Major Heywood?  Colonel Munro?  Blows Thief out of the water.

  15. Mark Twain’s comments on LOTM are absolutely hilarious.  And why would any movie that can’t even use the original name of its character once be subject to anything but eternal ridicule?

    As for Thief, sheer complete genius. Michael Mann is such a horribly uneven director but Thief is his best work in my opinion.  A perfect film.  My favorite scene is where James Caan shows Tuesday Weld the collage he made in prison to represent his life.

  16. gail says:

    Je crache a vous!

    At least you’re respectful.

  17. Finn McCool says:

    I was quoting.

  18. Patricia says:

    Hmm, interesting.  Haven’t seen Thief but it’ll go in my queue today.  Collateral could have been good–Jamie Foxx got it, but Cruise didn’t.  He never will.  I’m sorry, but he’s Risky Business forever, a teenager playing grownup. 

    Heat was my favorite Mann show because everything seemed to serve the story–even the “stars”–instead of the other way around.

  19. Attila Girl says:

    I’ll have to see Thief. I do think Heat was better than Collateral: I really had no problem with the actions of the DeNiro character toward the end. I felt it was consistent.

    OTOH, in Collateral there are a few plot holes that really distract from what’s going on. Still, it was a great film in terms of the character studies, and Foxx was simply amazing.

    My husband maintains that Heat contains the best shootout of all time. I’m not sure he’s wrong there.

  20. reelcobra says:

    Michael Mann tells one story, over and over.  If you dig it, like I do, then you like his stuff.

    Think about it.

    From Miami Vice all the way to heat, the story is that the good guy and the bad guy have more in common than not in common.

    His method of getting into the story is to send his here into the fray (sometimes undercover) where the hero gets “caught up” in the “bad guy’s” world.

    Miami Vice – every week Crocket, or the other dude, or the fat guy or skinny guy, get’s in too deep and must be pulled out.

    Theif – Caan get’s caught up in gambling.

    Manhunter – Peterson relates to the killer “too well”.

    Heat – DeNiro and Paqchino are really locked in a death grip they cannot get out of. (Did you know they never did a scene together?  Watch the 2 shots in the restaurant.  There is always a double.) Pachino spends more time chasing DeNiro than with his lady.

    Collateral – Fox and Cruise have the Michael Mann “Man Attraction”.

    Before LOTM came out, my buddy who wrote on Vice for years said, “I don’t have to see the movie.  DDL will go undercover into the Indians and get over his head.”

    This being said, I love Michael Mann, and am not cvnical.

    I love Heat, and until the No Ho shootout thought it hasd the best shoot out ever.

  21. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Sorry, reelcobra.  Had to remove those URLs because they were messing up the formatting.  Don’t know why.  Tried fixing them, but no good.

  22. Rob C. says:

    reelcobra:

    “Did you know they never did a scene together?  Watch the 2 shots in the restaurant.  There is always a double.”

    Did you perhaps miss the last scene where Pacino holds DeNiro’s hand while….I won’t spoil it. Although Al really looks like he’d rather be somewhere else…

  23. reelcobra says:

    I will watch the scene again because this’ an excuse for watching the movie which my wife HATES because it’s so full of testosterone.

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