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If instead of going On The Road, famed Beat writer Jack Kerouac spent the early 1950s pitching Cold War-inspired screenplays disguised as grade Z monster movies

Kerouac:  “…And then the giant irradiated lizard smokes the enormous marijuana cigarette, has himself a big bowl of Wheaties, and takes a little nap —at which point the army corp of engineers ties him up and releases him back into the ocean.

“Which you gotta admit is like, wonderfully O. Henry-esque, man…”

18 Replies to “If instead of going On The Road, famed Beat writer Jack Kerouac spent the early 1950s pitching Cold War-inspired screenplays disguised as grade Z monster movies”

  1. Sean M. says:

    Burroughs: “So…this is a documentary?”

  2. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Main character’s name?  Frederick Flint Stone.

  3. TallDave says:

    YOU STOLE MY SCREENPLAY!!!!

  4. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Well, not me so much as my revisionist’s version of Jack Kerouac placed in similar circumstances, his responses then posted on this particular blog.

  5. CraigC says:

    Ferlinghetti: “Are there any characters in this little opus who are young boys?”

  6. jon says:

    Ed Wood: That’s the stupidest script I’ve ever seen.

  7. gail says:

    (Yeah, no angora for one thing.)

  8. dorkafork says:

    Alan Ginsberg: I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by radiation, starving hysterical naked, growing 8 to 10 feet per day, their hearts growing at half the rate of their bodies.*

  9. Sean M. says:

    LeRoi Jones: “I like it, but it needs a little something.  Ooh!  I know: a scene where Mossad agents call up all the Jews in the area and warn them about the monster ahead of time!”

  10. CraigC says:

    Burroughs:  Here’s my question:  Who rolled a joint big enough for a giant lizard to smoke, and where can I find them?

    HA! Spamword, “using”

  11. CraigC says:

    Sorry, that should have been Dennis Hopper.

  12. Sean M. says:

    Yeah, Craig.  Burroughs looked down on people who smoked “pod.”

  13. Chrees says:

    I think it would be more O. Henryesque if the lizard hocked his bong to buy the Army Corp of Engineers artillery shells. But the COE sold their cannons to buy the lizard a monster-sized dime bag of pot.

    By the way, which athlete is on the box of irradiated monster Wheaties? Mothra Woods playing golf?

  14. dorkafork says:

    I think it’s Billie Jean King Kong.  Or MechaNavratilova.

  15. Alpha Baboon says:

    Ed Wood: How ‘bout vampires ? Can we work in some vampires.. cuz I think I can get Bela Lugosi to star..

  16. Alpha Baboon says:

    <blockquote>Ed Wood: Thats the stupidest script I’ve ever seen.</blockquote>

    I like it…

    Work in some flying saucers and vampires and youve got yourself a deal.

  17. Alpha Baboon says:

    wow..those blockquote things kinda ruin the flow, huh?

  18. Tom v G says:

    Keouac: “Before anyone sees Miller’s new play let’s take it and jam in Godzilla as John Proctor and Ava Gardner as the slutty witch – hell, Frank may bring some grass to the set.”

    Ginberg: I looooooove Ava!

Comments are closed.