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Yeah, I know you already know.  But it gives me a chance to repost one of my poems.  So deal.

From the AP, “Berger to Plead Guilty to Taking Materials”:

Sandy Berger, who was President Clinton’s top national security aide, has acknowledged taking classified documents from the National Archives and cutting them up with scissors, law enforcement officials said Friday.

Rather than the “honest mistake” he acknowledged last summer, Berger told Justice Department lawyers he intentionally took and deliberately destroyed three copies of the same document dealing with terror threats during the 2000 millennium celebration, said the officials. They spoke only on condition of anonymity because Berger’s plea had not yet been accepted by a judge.

A U.S. District Court hearing was scheduled for Friday afternoon, at which time Berger was expected to enter a guilty plea to a misdemeanor charge.

from the protein wisdom archives:

The Sandy Berger’s Lament poem

Were I a marsupial,

none of you would

care what I stuffed in

my pockets.  Instead,

you’d love me and

pet me and feed me

tasty eucalyptus leaves.*

16 Replies to “Yeah, I know you already know.  But it gives me a chance to repost one of my poems.  So deal.”

  1. Matt I says:

    Slap on the wrist for Berger unless the judge as the balls to reject the plea. Whats 10k to Berger ? He probably spends that much a month on scotch and hookers.

    This guy should never be allowed near classified documents ever again.

  2. gail says:

    Jeff, I love it. I wasn’t around here when it was originally posted. That’s the funniest one yet IMO, which also works as a poem. Cool.

  3. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Thanks, Gail.

  4. jeremy in NYC says:

    Boo, Jeff.  Boo.  Once agan you take your speciest ignorance and assume all marsupials eat eucalyptus leaves, when in fact some are meat-eaters.  For shame. 

    But I do want you to know that as an avid reader, I will always care what you stuff and where.

  5. dario says:

    Still brings a tear to the eye.

    ..but you’ve sided with the reruns.  The very reason I bought TIVO and refuse to watch It’s a Wonderfull Life more than once.  So, I’m afraid I must delink you. (but I shan’t give up my newfound democratic underground brothers)

  6. A possum, perhaps?  Always good with gravy.

  7. CraigC says:

    I am so sick and tired of the endless string of outrages that are perpetrated by the government.  I try to tell myself that it doesn’t affect my life, and not to get worked up, but sometimes I just get so pissed that they can get away with this shit, and we can’t do anything about it, that I get all Peter Finchey.

  8. Lyndsey says:

    Jeff, I LOVED this when it was first posted–it’s just as good the second time around. Truly funny.

  9. SarahW says:

    :Sniff:  that poem breaks one’s heart.

    My Dad brought me back a stuffed-toy Koala from Australia I was terribly fond of.  It mostly it ate Keebler’s chocolate chip cookies. Mostly.

    Some years later I found out its pelt was made from an actual Koala shot out of a tree.

    Maybe that’s why the Koala’s are so far away from me.

  10. tachyonshuggy says:

    Maybe it’s just because I woke up slightly grumpy today, but THIS IS JUST ABOUT THE BIGGEST PILE OF HORSESHIT THAT I’VE SEEN IN A LONG TIME (not the poem, the Berger sentence).

    I swear to God, if i ever see Sandy Berger on the street I will take a dump in his coat pocket.  Let’s see him forget that.

  11. SarahW says:

    Matt-

    Get this – the plea allows him to have his clearance reviewed and restored *within* the three years, if the government asks him to serve on a panel or in another position with access to secret material.

    (This according to unamed associates of Berger, as reported in the New York Times)

  12. Consider this, the Clinton administration was so criminal in its fundamental nature that we are still seeing – more than four years later – criminal prosecutions of its members.

    On the topic of biased media, notice absolutely no speculation whatsoever in the MSM about what Sandy Burglar was trying to conceal from the American people about his and/or President Clinton’s actions.

  13. JWebb says:

    No jail time. And I was so looking forward to the Sandy Berger Chronicles from ClubFed.

  14. SeanH says:

    That is a good poem.  The best I can ever come up with is dirty limericks:

    While some say he got off with ease

    And deserves worse for being a sleaze,

    he’s got paper cuts on every inch of his nuts

    that sting him like hundreds of bees.

  15. Tom v G says:

    I thought Berger wore tube socks.

    Damn.

  16. Quid pro quo. Hillary will take care of him. He’ll probably be in her cabinet

Comments are closed.