I don’t know what this calcified, ingrown mass on my thigh is, but I picked at it—and now the fucking thing won’t stop bleeding.
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
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Dude, I think you need to start drinking more.
Clears up those strange, calcified, ingrown bits faster than you can say, “Dude, I love you, man. Like a brother, man. Like a fucking brother.”
The first part wouldn’t have anything to do with this:
http://www.celluloid-wisdom.com/pw/index.php?/weblog/entry/18271/
would it?
Nah. People enjoy flip treatment of core beliefs.
/not offended, just observing
Yuck. You got a picture of it?
You might have lost a couple of readers over the GAY PORN COCK reporting. Not because of the gay porn cock, per se, but because of the overuse of ALL-CAPS. As the old adage goes, “If there’s anything that gets people more up in arms than gay porn cock, it’s all-caps.”
Maybe Dr. Phil could help the Republican/Libertarian relationship… or at least keep it together long enough to keep the Socialists out of the White House for just one more term.
Refraining from retirement innuendo is a good anticoagulant.
It also goes well with a nice white wine.
I LIKED “calcified, ingrown mass on my thigh.” Pluralize it and I have a brand new name for my testicles.
You’re just growing up, is all. You’ll get through it fine and may even like your grown up self better.
“To whom much is given much is expected”—I’ll be looking for a lot of good things from you after you’ve had a chance to consider your options.
I’m not sure what exactly that you meant by “..wont stop bleeding ”, but if by that you meant that bright red blood is spurting out rhythmically in long jets to distances of three to ten feet, then I’d guess that youve scratched a hole in your femoral artery. You might want to press down on the hole with a finger or put a bandaid on it or a tourniquet or something, and see a doctor as soon as is convenient. I mean, I’m no doctor or anything..I’m just sayin’…
Touring word: case
As in: Of course, in this case, if youre still alive to read this it’s probably not your femoral artery.
Back to the movie thing – rent “How to get ahead in advertising”
calcified, ingrown mass with proper marketing could become the new ‘boils’
________________
Then again, maybe Jeff’s testicles just kept on descending and that isn’t a calcified mass he’s picking at.
JWebb does have a bit of a point.
But I’m not really sure if you were looking for reasons as to why you’re losing readers. If you are, then I really do not believe it’s for the reason/s you think.
Later,
bbeck
Why is it, bbeck?
People are supposed to read this?
Oh, and that sore? Ignore it. It’ll go away.
Trust me.
Jeff – come on! It’s spring everywhere but Denver, and it’s TAX time (everyone’s filing madly for extensions).
I’m with Diana on this.
Speaking for conservative homemakers everywhere: The lawn needs mowing, garden needs putting in, flower beds need weeding, the kid has to play outside (bastard) and I’m the only thing standing between him and abduction.
Mother Nature got quite the bag of dice.
I am not going to miss the radio at 3pm EST tomorrow, though.
Jeff, it was your nut. Now it is deflating. They are very vascular creatures (as well as well innervated.)
Stop touching yourself or you’ll go blind.
Spamword = aid, as in “He passed out in front of the liquor store, and several Boy Scouts were horrified to see where the bleeding was coming from when they stopped to render aid.”
It’s Ace. Will he be exploring the studio space? Will there be…cowbell?
I’m going to sit by my computer with a cowbell and bang on it now and again. Just ‘cause.
Not Ace on his thigh. Ace on el radio.
and now the fucking thing won’t stop bleeding.
Perhaps you should rethink that Onan thingy.
Ana – does this work for you? (click the “lo-fi play”)
Nothing a little HNO3 can’t clear up.
Q: ARE you losing readers? IF so, why do YOU think that is? (inflection courtesy Dr. Phil).
To quote one of the guys that interviewed you on that other internet program a while back, “Your site seems to have a lot of pitchers; why are pitchers so important to your site?”
IF you are losing readers, maybe they need to see more pitchers.
That reminds me. Ask Ace if he’s a pitcher or a catcher.
The bleeding is probably a good sign; it is when the calcified masses don’t bleed, but rather ooze a purulent, foul smelling, greenish black, sticky substance that you have a problem. Or your ascending colon.
Wasn’t Vatican II a partial answer to the calcified ingrown mass?
There is a kind of euphoria that comes from not feeling the need to please large numbers of readers, isn’t there? Trust me, I know.
Of course, I hear there are other things that can cause euphoria, such as massive blood loss. Slap a Band-Aid® on that thing will you?
Also starvation. <non-stereotypical mother type> Come on, would it kill you to eat something? </non-stereotypical mother type>
I think that’s where it was rectified, JW.
So stop picking.
Carla <–mom
Look, Ana and Diana have it nailed. U.S. Elections, GWOT, Iraqi Elections – heady times, bucko. Now it’s spring, and folks are taking a break to, you know, smell the flowers. You could maybe do a little of that yourself. It goes without saying that would be after the snow melts in Colorado.
I was thinking liturgically, Gail.
Awwwright Goldstein, get your a@@ down to sick call right now! I’ll sign your Godd@#& sick call slip. Now! Move it!
Well, nothing likes being picked at, not even calcified, ingrown masses on the thigh.
Ultimately though, it is your thigh, if you can’t live with the mass there, then keep picking. That is, assuming you can live without the blood you’ve already lost and/or can replace it over time.
Personally I’d have left it alone, but I am neither part of a calcified, ingrown mass, nor am I your thigh. So it hardly matters what I think.
Scales. Scales or rickets, I always get those two confused. Good luck with that.
Heyyyyyyyyyyy, a McGehee sighting!!
Shit, Jeff. Now it’s going to scar. Sigh……..
(And WTF?? My I’m not a spammer word is TAX!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I re-bookmarked you. Will that help?
I dunno Jeff, maybe it’s your “look at me, I’m just as funny as Jeff Goldstein” serial posters that have run alot of us off.
Best pay attention to what Major John says. Otherwise you could end up with a dishonorable discharge as well as a calcified mass.
As to the comments, just scroll past the ones you don’t like. What’s the problem?
I appears you have an “adult onset, conjoined twin”, in the shape of William F. Buckley.
Seek treatment immediately.
Several dozen in-crowd barnicles trying to out-cute each other with their rapier wits. Are all blog comments so self-serving?
Rob.. pretty much.. yes.. I’d say so.. or at least mine are..
Rob.. and you say that as if it’s a bad thing.. What would you as a reader prefer to read; ”Several dozen in-crowd barnicles trying to out-cute each other with their rapier wits” -or- “ Heh.. Good one Jeff.. way to go.. “ repeated 50 or so times.. ? Me ? I’ve always preferred barnacles to sycophants.
I can’t say what that mass is, but you will feel much better if you read this page in its entirety.
I think a site with pictures of hemorrhaging readers would be pretty cool, and you could submit it to Grand Rounds, which is always Insta-linked.
Re 1st: Hey, man, if people are offended or stop reading –
F U C K T H E M !!
Re 2nd: Relax, we all have our little bleeding calcified ingrown thigh masses in life to deal with.
For the record, my wit is not as much rapier as it is bludgeon.
Good point, Alpha. Is someone keeping score?
Heyyyyyyyyyyy, a McGehee sighting!!
I’ve been trying to save some for my own blog, is all.
When your calcified mass starts oozing a dishonorable discharge, THEN you’re in trouble.
hey where’d all this blood come fr…thud
Hey Jeff:
You could start a thread about the Blogad–FDR:A Presidency Revealed, “He refused to reveal everything. By keeping us in the dark, he became America’s shining light.”
Is this what is referred to as revisionist history, or do the Dems just have changing standars for how a President fulfils his responsibilitiies? ‘Cus given their allegations…
Jeff,
If your hemorrhaging readers from your calcified mass it can only be due to one thing.. well, two things actually.. make that four things total.. There are no ‘Say Anything’ or ‘Dusty Girls’ on your front page… How many people came to PW just to ogle their breasts and discuss their feminine charms ?
I miss Judd.
I guess you should’nt have crosses pee pees with the hunderd percenta, bitch. Now you have to pay the man for your shitty stats.
Which is strange because my traffic is down by a third since Christmas time. And it’s not like I had a significant number of readers to begin with.
Today, easily 30% of my traffic is coming from the links in my last comment, above.
If this is what happens when I linkslut my stuff on a blog that’s “hemorrhaging readers,” maybe I should’ve done the linkslut thing months ago.
“Why is it, bbeck?”
Hmmm…Upon reflection, I would think it would be REALLY poor timing to answer this question.
Later,
bbeck
I’m a big boy.
I know, Jeff, s’why I read your stuff (among other reasons). It’s just not a good day for my random speculation that I may not phrase right. I WILL say that I don’t think it’s YOU, if that’s any consolation.
Later,
bbeck
It’s Schiavo fatigue. Like your thigh, but unlike Shiavo, readership will recover.
My security word is “deep.” Fitting, no?