And Bill, bless his hard-hitting journalistic heart, will bring us the graphic video of these gyrating, hyper-sexualized minors in their skimpy cheerleader outfits, their perky breasts and taut little cheerleading asses all sweaty and glistening, their welcoming hips undulating to bass-heavy, sex-drenched rap music, their full, wet-n-wild lips spread nastily to reveal sparkling, vaseline-slathered teeth.
All of this for news purposes, of course. Y’know: proof of the outrage.
Because remember: he’s looking out for you.
****
update: For the sake of the children! Somebody has to protect the children!
Hey, did my pants just get tighter, or what?
Gee, if that doesn’t make me want to go out and “get the cable”, nothing will.
But only have sex if you plan on having a child! BE RESPONSIBLE, PEOPLE!
/PSA
My money says O’Reilly will watch the rebroadcast from his couch at home, equipped with a loofah and econo-sized tub of petroleum jelly.
How did O’Reilly get into my DVD collection?
Might have to tune in for once.
What I’d really like to hear are BO’s taped telephone interviews with the shameless hussies. You know, for balance.
DON’T WASTE THE SEED!!
Right on, JayDub.
I remember last time O’Reilly did one of those stories. Can’t believe I sat through that disgusting filth…43 times.
What time is it on ?!?! Gotta go out and buy a Tivo now, thanks to Jeff.
God, I hope the wife walks the dogs at her usual time tonight.
I’m thinking I need a little “me” time.
Turing word: activity(!)
Just when I’m getting sick and tired of O’Reilly’s regular guy schtick, he goes and pulls this regular guy kinda thing.
Now, I need to know if its true that TiVo knows what I’m pausing on, rewinding, pausing, rewinding . . .
Oh, Tivo knows, man. Tivo knows.
Will they be bringing their loofahs?
This isn’t the same Bill O’Reilly that hit Jenna Jameson up for free movies after their interview, is it? Nah…
Your hyper-descriptive adjectives and wording aroused me, Goldstein.
That’s just wrong, man. Very wrong.
So, is it “sweeps week” again already? And doesn’t this violate the ALL-POPE-ALL-THE-TIME bender Fox has got going on right now? Somebody be sure to tell me when its safe to watch the news again.
Jeff, why are you trying to get us to watch BO? How much is he paying you?
And why isn’t he paying me too?
or someone might name a parrot after you.
“Every sperm is Sacred…”
I’m guessing that Jeff won’t be playing X-box tonight.
As a former cheerleader and the mother of one…yall disgust me. Really. Seriously. You do.
So did that bun get popped in the oven during or after your cheerleading stint? You can tell us, Mom.
Umm.. I was 25 when I had my first child. So cheerleading was way over, you perv….
(I was a virgin bride as well at 22, so…sterotype out the window!!!!!!!!!)
Sparkle,
I can’t believe you think I watched just for the sex factor. As a fellow blogger, it is my duty to stay current on cultural events. To inform—that, Ms. Rightwingsparkle, is my creed.
OK, wearing the batman costume while watching was unnecessary. I’ll give you that point. But, everything else is about journalism.
I know somewhere, Edward R. Murrow is looking at me. And, dammit, I’m pretty sure he’s smiling.
Pardon my intrusion, but I would just like to point out that, when I read about something like this at PW, I really get to missing those Martha Stewart diaries.
update: BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRISY!
Sorry. I’ve always wanted to do that…
I was a virgin bride as well at 22, so…sterotype out the window!
The Normal curve strikes again. I kinda think you were out on one tail, though. The “no tail” tail, y’might say…
Holy crap. RWS had a white wedding? Not even born-again children’s author Laura Ingalls (Wilder) managed that.
And if you’ll excuse me I’m off to play my Billy Idol MP3s really loud. (And no, not “Dancing With Myself”! Pervs…)
David, They don’t actually require a physical before they sell you a white dress….Lucky for me.
Spamword: word
David, it wasn’t easy, let me tell you.
But I was a smart girl…guys are pigs, as this thread clearly shows.
So I worked hard to find a less than complete pig and made clear my rules. The intersting thing was I was engaged TWICE before I finally married.
Girls don’t get it these days. When the guys love/lust you and you wait for a ring…guess what? You get it!
It worked for me anyway….
We’re ensorceled, you Virtual Circe…
Spambuster: kept
(snigger)
mojo: definitely a two-sigma event.
everyone else: actually watched o’reilly. virtually no footage. very lame. shift key not working. verbs problem. gurk.
As much as O’reilly grates on my last nerve, I have to be honest, if I was annoying, rich and balding, I’d probably have cheerleaders on my show too – and offer to louffa them.
TW- Below. Use your imagination.
Forget O’Reilly… Invest in a copy of ‘American Beauty‘ and enjoy Mena Suvari again and again.. She cheerleads, she teases, she bathes, she gives great verbal sex… and all with an excellent soundtrack… (and Annette Bening aint half bad either)
OMG! American Beauty was SICK SICK SICK!!!
It was about PEDOPHILIA….DUH!!!! And about every other sexual perversion.
Oh…nevermind. I see why you would like it..
I haven’t seen the movie, but I’ve seen the actress. Isn’t she a bit, um, well-developed, to be in the pedo- category?
She played a 16 yr old friend of his daughters that Kevin Spacey (who is an INCREDIBLE actor though) lusted after big time. The only reason he doesn’t “take her” in the movie is because she chooses at the last minute to disclose that she is a….virgin!!!!! So he declines, because, you know with him being a thirty something married man, doing a 16 yr old slut is one thing, but a virgin…well….that is just wrong.
RWS,
If you think American Beauty was about pedophilia then you didn’t understand too much about the movie.
Sheesh
Oh I undestood it all too well RC.
The overall message was “see, those white suburbanian people are just as perverted as the rest of us and hate their lives too!!”
It was SUCH an uplifting movie too. All the way to the bloody sucide in the end.
But when an adult lusts after a child (and 16 is still a child no matter WHAT they look like) and tries to seduce her….that is pedophilia.
Oops, got that wrong. Amid all the 7 deadly sins of the movie, I got that one confused. It wasn’t a suicide in the end, it was murder by a self hating military homosexual. And just at the moment Kevin is realizing that despite the fact that we are all perverts, life is still beautiful. I had almost forgotten that part.
RWS,
Sorry, that’s not at all what I got from the movie and from what others have said that’s not the message of the movie. Once again your bias’s have created a filter that requires you to pick the most evil definition of the movie. I can see how you got there but it’s not solely because of the content of the movie, it’s partially because of the content of your bias.
Okay, who’s the wise guy that made my word “zipper”. 8-)
Your word is zipper because you “bias” is showing as well.
We all see things through the filter of our experiences and lives.
The message was clear to those whose eyes were open and had the wish to see.
RWS, your life/world paradigm is so foreign to mine that basically it is very difficult to communicate. I am sorry to have started this discussion and will withdraw.
BTW, since I am predominantly a lurker here it is impossible for you to credibly define or discuss my bias or my world filters.
Uh oh. I smell an incipient flame war.
…. look closer..
Gail… Excellent movie.. Academy Award 1999 – Best Picture.. Beautiful story,excellent cast, beautifully filmed.. I think most people find something in the movie that they relate to.. whether its a midlife crisis, a broken marriage, a rebelling teen or the spectulating at what the purpose is for our existence..
Definitely on my short list of Best (Hollywood) Movies of All Time ..
Never saw the movie, but my wife (who was also a virgin bride at 21) saw it and absolutely hated it.
Re: the Academy awarding AB “Best Picture”: that just means they agreed with its despite for the suburban American family. There was nothing else in its screenplay to commend it.
(And by the way, I’m a fan of “Fight Club”, “The Matrix”, and hell, even “Ghost World”. I am by no means a God Fearing Real American. But I know Oscar-bait humbug when I see it.)
It was an amazing movie, though it had a flaw: the closeted gay man should not have been a U.S. Marine, and a child abuser. I really felt that his character was a cartoon.
Other than that–loved it.
Attila, I dont think that it was intended as a slur on the Marines.. I took it as his fearing his homosexual feelings and hiding them behind the most macho mask in the world. He was a very tightly wound, controlling individual whether or not he was a Marine.
I thought it was a great movie.. even if I’m in the minority..
p.s. Col. Frank Fitts was all too close to some of the personalities I’ve known in the military.. not all.. not most.. but there are a few .. My old Team XO in Special Forces used to hang genuine Nazi SS paraphenalia and insignias around our teamhouse.. that is , until my (hispanic) Team Sgt picked up the framed Deaths Head insignia off the XOs desk..Said a few choice words about ‘racist shit’.. opened his window and pitched it as far as he could.. The XO got the message and the Nazi stuff came down.