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“Michelle Obama: ‘Competitive Foods’ in School Should Be Limited”

Competition — be it in the marketplace of ideas or in speech or even in certain sectors of the economy (think health care) — is just so…messy. Much like liberty.

And the reason is, once the technocrats and central planners have done their Google homework and learned everything there is to know about, eg., nutrition, or global climate change, then there really is no reason to pretend to consider other views. That is, once our betters have hit on the correct solution to a problem — and have decided how to implement the most efficient fix for said problem — competition just gets in the way of the speed and momentum of the fix.

Because people, you see, can choose incorrectly, or make mistakes, or disagree without having done the requisite Google searching or Oprah watching to learn, for instance, the fine art of fundamental nutrition calibration and implementation for all children, everywhere, at all times. And when families or the home environment — which isn’t controlled completely yet by the government in terms of what choices are available to them (lightbulbs and shower heads have been taken care of, thank goodness, but what goes in the fridge or pantry? Why, it’s like the wild west filled with Snowballs and Fruity Pebbles out there!) — work at odds with the plans of those who know best (and we know they know best because they managed to Marry a Marxist President), then we have competition that is, in effect, elevating a negligible bit of freedom over the health and safety and welfare of our children.

Who are the future, I don’t need to remind you.

So let me ask an uncomfortable question that problematizes the entire mythos of the American ideal: do we really need all these so-called liberties when, in exchange for surrendering some of them, we no longer have to shoulder the burden of responsibility, and we have the added extra bonus of letting the smart political set do our thinking and planning for us?

Think of all the extra time playing World of Warcraft we’ll have!

Just, you know. Mull it over. It’s all we ask. For now.

21 Replies to ““Michelle Obama: ‘Competitive Foods’ in School Should Be Limited””

  1. cranky-d says:

    Much like my mother lived out her fear of drowning by forcing me to go to backyard swim and swim lessons and the Y and wherever even though I hated it, Michelle has to project her relationship with food onto the entire country. She will continue to cram down the good stuff but by G-d the rest of the nation will eat healthy, dammit!

  2. Squid says:

    Having driven an entire generation to move back into their parents’ basements, the Obamas are now going to drive the entire nation to live in Washington’s basement, where we’ll be cared for and told what to do.

    Just wait ’til Michelle Antoinette tries to make me go to bed on time…

  3. palaeomerus says:

    “Fuck snacks peasants.” Hope and change from the wife of president Tire Gauge.

  4. Ernst Schreiber says:

    Choice is bad.

    Except where Choice is an absolute inviolable right to be celebrated.

  5. mojo says:

    Rip off the old Blue Diamond commercials:

    “One right a day. That’s all we ask.”

  6. palaeomerus says:

    Personal choice only pertains to sex and the consequences of it. For now. Everything else will be custom fit to your designated grievance group by an appointed expert in your region or local implementation district.

  7. leigh says:

    This seals the deal on my kid becoming a black marketeer and connection for tasty snackfoods at his high school.

  8. geoffb says:

    In the 60s on campus the left was fighting against the “in loco parentis” doctrine. Now, in power, they have become everyone’s “loco parentis”.

  9. McGehee says:

    Emphasis on the “loco.”

  10. Libby says:

    Packed lunches and snacks from home will be forbidden in 3…2…1….

  11. leigh says:

    Already done and done in Chicago Public Schools, Libby.

  12. Libby says:

    Chicago – of course!There’s got to be a a union or two benefiting from that policy.

    Leigh, this is the perfect opportunity for your kid to learn about capitalism (though you’ve likely already covered this at home). Michelle has taken care of the “demand” side, why not provide the “supply?” Don’t you love how these Lefties are turning conservatives into the cool rebels on campus?

  13. leigh says:

    Don’t you love how these Lefties are turning conservatives into the cool rebels on campus?

    Ironic, isn’t it?

    Junior is warming up to the idea of being an Outlaw. Heck, he’s one of those kids who charges his friends interest on money that they borrow from him. Not a lot, about 5%, just so they pay it back in a timely fashion.

    When he starts driving in December he can keep his stash in the extra-cab on his truck. “Psst! Hey, Kid. Wanna by some TastyKakes? Hersey bars? Beef jerky?”

  14. Bob Belvedere says:

    Didn’t the Nazis do this kind of thing?

    I denounce myself.

  15. palaeomerus says:

    Toaster Strudels. Toaster Strudels! Even think about taken’ ’em away and my mom’ll haul your $65K a year ass right into court! You want a delicious toaster strudel! Two to a pack! The tasty pastriess the $#@#ing man don’t want you to have! Get’cher toaster strudels RIGHT HERE! Help with my college fund! Cheaper thana convenience store and more convenient! Toaster Strudels! I got apple and cinnamon!

  16. palaeomerus says:

    Tamales! Entemann’s cherry and cheese filled! Doritos! I’m a walking food court! Come and graze! Tax free!

  17. leigh says:

    Dude, Jimmy Dean sausage biscuits! You can get cheese, too. And even an egg. Two, TWO to a pack, my man!

    Wadda ya have? Wadda ya have? Wadda ya have?

  18. palaeomerus says:

    Pepsi! Pepsi! Cheeseburger!

  19. Swen says:

    Meh. Get ’em hooked on Donut Gems. Only way to make them more addicting would be to coat them with heroin instead of powdered sugar. And what better way to stick your thumb in Moochelle’s eye than to give kids something with absolutely no nutritional value whatsoever?

  20. palaeomerus says:

    My momma Just got back from Sam’s Club and she bought a big tub of cream puffs. Who’s in? Lemme see those dolla’s ya’ll! Green and silver! Green and silver! Form a line! No shoving!

Comments are closed.