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The “it’s a new day in protein wisdom land! The sun is (metaphorically) shining! Kindly wood nymphs are (metaphorically) copulating like little winged bunnies on X” post

I feel fresh today.  Lighter, somehow.  And not just psychically, either.  It’s  as if some kindly fellow had taken a heavy sack filled with all sort of accumulated dross off my back and told me he was off to recycle it in order to help save the planet, given that we humans produce too much waste, and even our exhalation is a poison that needs to be carefully monitored and sufficiently controlled.

— And then I got to shoot him in the back, field strip his carcass, and make a fine belt out of his salt cured love handles.

That kind of lighter.

You know what I mean?  It’s invigorating, almost.

Plus, watching wood nymphs screwing is like watching porn without the stigma of actually watching porn.  Because they are just wood nymphs, after all.  And nature is beautiful, even in its base, instinctual earthiness.  Perfectly captured in an aggressive, visceral wood nymph threesome played out to mocking birds tweeting a medley of Red Hot Chili Peppers songs.

So.  My day has started well.  You?

 

31 Replies to “The “it’s a new day in protein wisdom land! The sun is (metaphorically) shining! Kindly wood nymphs are (metaphorically) copulating like little winged bunnies on X” post”

  1. TaiChiWawa says:

    New gig? or more pills found under the sofa cushions?

  2. Ernst Schreiber says:

    wood nymphs humping? I think the armadillo’s been mixing mescaline with your OJ.

    Again.

  3. Silver Whistle says:

    So. My day has started well. You?

    Poached egg, bacon and black pudding, thank you, yes. And a pile of marking.

  4. sdferr says:

    And if wood-nymphs, all to the good . . .

    . . . at least insofar as it wasn’t “a beautiful, fair woman, clothed in white raiment” calling to you and saying, “on the third day thou wouldst come to fertile Phthia.”

  5. Car in says:

    Me? not so good.

    *looks outside for wood-nymphs

  6. Squid says:

    Three deadlines today, two cow-orkers out of the office, and an impromptu “Squid, please drop everything and do this thing for me” call from one of the owners early this morning. Yeah, my day’s just bleedin’ wonderful…

  7. OCBill says:

    That exactly describes how I felt this morning. So AMAZING! At least until I read about the wood nymph threesome. My day only featured two wood nymphs. And no mocking birds. It’s just so depressing.

  8. Blake says:

    For some reason, when I read the above, I come up with: “I drank myself into oblivion last night, showered this am and used a different underarm deodorant.”

  9. geoffb says:

    Flu-shots and yard-work, while the nice weather lasts, for me.

  10. Car in says:

    Which Red Hot Chili Peppers song are they tweeting?

    ’cause i’m imagining “Backwoods” and that would be hawt.

  11. dicentra says:

    So. My day has started well. You?

    I use Microsoft Office products daily. So M–F always sux.

  12. LBascom says:

    I have mixed emotions this morning. I mean, the world is a ticking time bomb, I’ve had about two weeks this year where I actually worked five days in a row, with no hope for improvement in the foreseeable future, and the weatherman irritated me right off the bat (what the fuck with saying we are hotter than we should be this time of year? The “average” is 88, the record 105, and the prediction today is 97. Weather men have become masters of language manipulation, like using “normal”, in it’s broad sense, in place of “average” in it’s scientific sense, all in an effort to be the priests of the global warming homos).

    On the other hand, I’m enjoying a beautiful morning listening to the radio and surfing the net with a good cup of coffee while watching a doe and her fawns frolic in my front yard.

    So I shouldn’t complain…

  13. serr8d says:

    Wood nymphs? Sure they’re not wood elves? They’ve been pushing the ‘The Hobbit Part 1 of 3’ movie trailer and those sylvan critters are flush with expectations of box office success. Or they’ve emptied the wine cask for Bombur’s Part 2 river float.

  14. serr8d says:

    I got up, looked right, looked left, and immediately resented that latest tremulous dream.

    But I did get up, so there’s that.

  15. LBascom says:

    Also, the regular refs are back for the Raiders game. I was worried for Manning’s life if he had to play the fucking Raiders with last weeks officiating crew…

  16. LBascom says:

    Hi Jeff, sounds like Jim Treacher is a reader. At least he uses the lingo.

  17. LBascom says:

    Oh, wait. That was Ed Driscoll using the lingo, sorry.

  18. LBascom says:

    Crap, I was right thew first time. I’ll shut up now…

  19. bbeck says:

    Geez, all I did was friend you on FB.

  20. DarthLevin says:

    I use Microsoft Office products daily. So M–F always sux.

    Could be worse, you could still be on Lotus Notes.

  21. BigBangHunter says:

    – Me?. I still follow a military regimen each morning. After the usual shat, shine, and shampoo kit I fire up the trusty ‘puter and dash off the same email missive to Redlands I’ve sent almost every morning since the winter of ’93. I still have ‘Willie the thiefs’ personal addy from my days as an ISV with rip-off-soft:

    Dearest Bill, Your fucking software still doesn’t work.

    – Most cordially – RC

    – Most of the time I get the usual form ‘thank you for your submittal’ back, but once in a while I get some staffer nimrods happy face response.

    – That always makes my day, knowing I can bring a little sunshine into a fellow human beings life (albeit one who is a snake-oil salesman and would no doubt commondere wood nymphs coupulation if there was any way he could make it a copy-writable process), and hoping his girlie girl spends another 10 million on that monstrosity he calls a house.

    – Good times.

  22. McGehee says:

    I got up, took the M-I-L to breakfast, and then accompanied her to the former Castle McGehee, now unoccupied, where she proceeded to go into M-I-L-superpower mode and already damn near has that place in such great shape I’d almost be tempted to move back there.

    Tomorrow she’ll go back without me along, and that’ll be an even better day.

  23. BigBangHunter says:

    – Its a fine day when you can smile at your M-I-L, and mean it McGehee. Cherish it.

    – BTW, todays best buy alert for the week.

    – Took the son out for some shopping yesterday, and in the process ran across a killer deal at Macy’s in the home goods department. Not sure if this is true nationwide, but I scored a top of the line Black&Decker toaster oven for 20 bucks.

    – Those little puppies can save you a ton on electricity bills for some types of cooking.

  24. McGehee says:

    We swore off B&D toaster ovens after we replaced the first one, which had worked beautifully for years and years before finally giving out, with a new B&D toaster oven that crapped out after slightly more than a year.

    The one we have now, I don’t remember what brand it is, but it’s holding up as nicely as the first B&D did.

  25. BigBangHunter says:

    – Yeh, its always a crap shoot with commercial products, but at that price I couldn’t pass it up. Maybe I’ll be lucky.

  26. McGehee says:

    Let me know in a few years how well it’s holding up. Maybe the crappy one was a fluke.

    Wanting the most for my $20 is a Scottish thing. Pisses the hookers off, but…

  27. BigBangHunter says:

    – I probably should have bought twoi – one as a backup, but they don’t give senior discounts for quantity purchases like the local hookers.

  28. epador says:

    Hell, I’m still hung over from Tuesday. Where the hell is the Aspirin, dammit? Frickin’ BigFoot making horrible noises and smells outside – probably copulating with the local deer. Don’t move to Oregon.

  29. serr8d says:

    Let me know in a few years how well it’s holding up. Maybe the crappy one was a fluke.

    Doubtless.

  30. McGehee says:

    Epador, Georgia is nice and quiet. Apparently our friendly neighborhood Bigfoot here at The Freehold is better behaved.

  31. sdferr says:

    If Germany still has any interest in Alsace & Lorraine, now might be a good time to make an offer.

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