Me: “I love you, man.”
Guinness:
Me: “You’re like, so rich, y’know? So dark. So smooth…”
Guinness:
Me:
Guinness:
Me:
Guinness:
Me: “You’re like a fine chocolate, is what you are.”
Guinness:
Me: “– Or like Billy Dee Williams…”
Guinness:
Me: “…Circa 1975.”
Guinness:
Me:
Guinness:
Me: “But then, I bet you get that all the time.”
Guinness:
Me:
Guinness:
Me: “I love you, man.”
Guinness: “Uh huh. I’m gonna get the check now, okay?”
****
abridged.
Did you get tired of the chaos? It’s ok, we’ll start it again.
Five names that I can hardly
Stand to hear
Including yours and mine
And one more chimp who isn’t here
I can see the ladies talking
How the times are getting hard
And that fearsome excavation
On Magnolia Boulevard
And I’m going insane
And I’m laughing at the frozen rain
And I’m so alone
Honey when they gonna send me home
Bad sneakers and a Pina Colada
My friend
Stompin’ on the avenue
By Radio City with a
Transistor and a large
Sum of money to spend
You fellah, you tearin’ up the street
You wear that white tuxedo
How you gonna beat the heat
Do you take me for a fool
Do you think that I don’t see
That ditch out in the valley
That they’re digging just for me
And I’m going insane
And I’m laughing at the frozen rain
And I’m so alone
Honey when they gonna send me home
Bad sneakers and a Pina Colada
My friend
Stompin’ on the avenue
By Radio City with a
Transistor and a large
Sum of money to spend
Funny.. I had virtually the same conversation with the St Pauli Girl on Valentines Day..you know, except she was more like ‘light and luscious’ and I had to get the check..
Turing word: used
yes, and after I got the check and then it was ::smooch:: goodnight… I felt kinda used..
You are the leather-covered steel dildo of the internet!
Oh, and the St Pauli Girl was more like Amanda Pays .. circa 1986.. than Billy Dee Williams.
I guess that’s a good thing, whoever you are.
CC , are you talkin to me?
I’m Alpha Baboon, now under my real name, Jake. I milked the Baboon schtick enough =)
Only one Guiness, Jeff? I know better than that … I’ve seen you and Guiness’.
That was just the last Guinness, Robin.
I WANT THE BABOON BACK!!!
Are you talking to the Ghost of Alec Guinness?
OK..OK.. By popular demand I’ll bring back
the monkey..
Shazzzzamm: I’m a Baboon..
And I’m Billy Batson!
Pal, it’s even better when you say those things to me.
Don’t know why, but this reminds me of skiing slalom down Spiral Stairs on St. Patty’s Day years back. At each gate were two pints of green Guinness that you had to stop and chug before continuing. Needless to say, the finish gate was awash with projectile vomit and foaming green glop. Ah, the good ol’ days.
Ha, I used to play Sunday Softball at the University of Maryland in the seventies, and we only had one rule: If you were carrying your beer around the bases and you spilled any, you were automatically out.
GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY! Don’t forget to tip your waitress! I’ll be here all week!
“Billy Dee Williams circa 1975” – Ghost of Alec Guiness . . . well, leave it to me to fuck up the obvious.
Turing word “through” – which I am. Goodnight, good people!
That’s … um, Rich!
:-D
– Ok…..could somebody get all these f’king snakes outta here…
Me: Where is everyone?
Me: Shhh. I think they’re sleeping.
Me: Why?
Me: St. Patrick’s Day Carnage
Me: So no Romper Room?
Me: No. And you’ll have to be very quiet when you’re commenting. No getting all shouty. Okay?
Me: Okay. Can Satchel come play?
Me: He can’t type yet.
Me: Oh.
– Don’t mind the double vision so much….its just these damn headaches….
– St. Patty: So then you all want me to get rid of the snakes then, right?
– people: Yeh. well but start in county Mayo, and hold the lettuce….
– St. Patty: This must be the vision I had. The idea that brought me back to Irland. So I guess I’m good with it.
– people: Well anytime. before we all grow old waiting.
– St. Patty: You know you could be a little more humble about it. Less snarky. I am a Saint you know. Well at least I will be when the lazy ass monks in the vatican get around to recognizing my accomplishments.
– people: Not to put too fine a point on it. But you havn’t accomplished anything yet. We’re still up to our leprachauns in snakes.
– St Patty: You people aren’t big on patience are you.
– people: Patience is part of a Saints bag dude. and gawd knows we ain’t saints.
– St Patty: Yeh. I hear that.
– St Patty: you guys have any exterminator insurance or do I just put it on the holy tab.
– people: We got potatos. You like potatos, you’re all set. Otherwise its a tab thing.
– St. Patty:
– people:
– St. Patty: Ok. Well and maybe a book deal. And a nice write up in the history rags. That would be cool.
– people: Sure. Knock yourself out. Just get these snakes the hell out of here and everyone will kiss your feet and stuff like that.
– people: Oh. and if you do a good job I’ll introduce you to my sister. green eyes, nice flaming red hair, good set of potatos.
– St Patty: You said the magic words. I’m on it.
Thank you, masked man.
I don’t know about this Guinness stuff.
After three pints I want to go to sleep. Not drunk, you understand, just sleepy, as after a good meal.
Then there’s the raging thirst in the middle of the night.
And the farts. My God, the farts.
Alec Guinness and Billy Dee Williams? You gotta lotta nerve coming back here, after what you pulled!