So far, we know it removes pro-Israel language, removes any mention of God, calls for a Constitutional Amendment to restrict free speech, blames lenders for tricking buyers into purchasing homes they couldn’t afford, and calls for an international effort to reduce greenhouse gases (but take off your tinfoil hats, birthery bitterclingers: the left doesn’t want transnational progressivism and an end to sovereignty. That’s just crazy talk!).
The takeaway is this: the GOP platform’s “controversial” plank is that it intimates that unborn babies have rights that need to be respected. While the Dem platform burns allies, replaces the God of religion with the state as godhead, rids its people of problematic free-speech rights that nettle those in power, demonizes business (whom they first required to behave in ways that are counterintuitive, using bogus racial data to force banks to lend to unqualified buyers), and expands the kinds of onerous EPA restrictions that have cost jobs, closed businesses, molested entire industries, and raised the prices of nearly everything here at home, to include the ideas for reducing human exhalation dreamed up by unelected bureaucrats from the international community.
If the GOP can’t win with this having fallen into their lap, we most surely are already toast.
Hell, in a sane society that’s still in touch with its founding ideals, this thing would be over by noon today, and we can all go out for a beer and some wings and call it a day.

You know, I really liked where you were going with the perspective in this piece and all but then you had to go and scare the shit outta me.
Failshit nation would be the two words I’m searching for. Talk about another bit of prescience, and they from an unexpected pikachuvian source…
Well, JHo. We may be, anyway. But I’m just talking from a purely electoral perspective. I mean, this platform couldn’t really be more tone deaf, IMO.
I’m guessing the left knows that electorally they’re toast and this time are just double-down bootstrapping their Noble Credentials in this inter-galactic vacuum of results they’ve inflicted on us normals. For the cause. In space we can hear them scream, which right now they’re doing in a din of record numbers.
I know they’re philosophically bent. They might as well go all-in and make it a pure religion.
If the GOP can’t win with this having fallen into their lap, we most surely are already toast.
We are talking about the GOP, right?
::pause::
I think it’s time to start eating lead-based paints. Something to make me forget.
I’m working on a list of all the GOP talking heads that could make a convincing argument out of the contrast between the ‘controversial’ planks in each side’s platform:
1) Um, maybe Gingrich?
2) …
And what’s so bad about Hamas, anyway?
Squid:
2) Allen West
3) Mark Levin
4) Hugh Hew… no, no, I just can’t do it.
4) Hew Hewie
5) Bob Bennit
6) Mikey Medved.
What is it with these alliterated twinks? Like Teh Gleens, are they.
The really sad thing is that not only this election eminently winnable, but it should be an historic electoral route in the offing. This should be the anti-1932. The democrats ought to get blown out so bad that they’re left a coastal rump party. Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi should wake up every morning from now until they retire and look into their bathroom mirror and know that today they’re going to lose.
And whose our candidate? Mitt Romney.
And what’s he running on? I’m as likeable as Obama —and competent to boot!
Boy, that sure has me fired up to go and vote. I’ll tell ya.
Boy, that sure has me fired up to go and vote. I’ll tell ya.
On my darker days, I’m convinced that Romney was chosen specifically to keep the Tea Partiers home on Election Day. Give ’em no reason to leave the house, and maybe they won’t vote any more Hobbits into Congress and the legislatures.
It ain’t gonna work. I aim to misbehave.
The bottom of the ballot is certainly a more compelling reason for showing up than the top.
In an election where people vowed to vote for a syphilitic camel if that’s what the GOP nominated, are you really surprised?
When people like that are negotiating with a used-car dealer, they say things like, “I’d give my left gonad to own this classic!”
That question I had a while back? About whether it might make more sense to try and bring Classical Liberalism back to the Democratic party than the endless frustration of getting it through to the GOP “Just one more orange tear” party?
…Question withdrawn.
At this point everyone is retarded and insane.
It’s like the worst Special Needs class ever, and it’s in Washington.
I know it’s just a platform, but taxpayer-funded abortions is a thunderbolt.
Confession time: between Ryan and this horseshit, I’m really starting to waver on my “no-Romney” stance. I’d justify it as not so much pulling an electoral lever as flushing a toilet.
I’d recommend Wild Turkey 101. The only downside is I keep waking up with keyboard impressions on my face.
If you mix Wild Turkey and Old Crow and let it sit for three hours, and dump off the top half you are left with a glass of Old Turkey. The dumped bit was Wild Crow.
You can try this cheap ‘sipping whiskey’ rotgut-liquor experiment yourself at home, but get your parent’s permission first! And always use your safety eyewear!
Is ‘feets around? No? OK then…
Squid, does Sarah Palin count as a GOP talking head?
Speaking of, is it just me or has she been remarkably silent lately? You’d think she’d have a lot to say the last couple of weeks…
Q. Why has Sarah Palin been so quiet lately?
A. “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” Napoleon Bonaparte.