“Most everything we’ve done has worked. Which isn’t to say we don’t need more time to make it work even harder — with less golfing and vacationing and fewer non-existent shovel ready jobs this time around, perhaps (oopsie!). The truth is, I’ve created jobs. Healed a beleaguered earth’s coal-mined gashes. Healed the sea beds after their serial rape by thousands of giant rock-hard drill bits.
“Incidentally, I love capitalism, love industry, love the private sector, love women, love the middle class, love gays (well, not like that, but you get what I’m saying), and only want to see the private sector and government become bestest friends for the good of the collective whole. By taking credit for their accomplishments without acknowledging the government’s part in their failures — and so showing them why they need to pay tribute. Also, I just want the freakin’ rich to do what’s right and give over their shit to me so I can decide how best to divvy it up after I’ve taken my cut. Fair share, people. Economic justice. Shared prosperity! Plus, if the government doesn’t bring in more revenue to spend, how on earth is this great land ever going to have the kind of growth that only government can create — and therefore pay down the debt that we can combat most effectively with deficit spending at record rates?
“Does all that make me a ‘socialist’? Hells no. It makes me just like Reagan. Only a black, non-racist Reagan who cares for the working man and saves auto companies and wishes to nationalize industry — unlike the inauthentic Reagan about whom I used to write scathingly in academic papers that you yourselves will never see, because my missing years are mine, and unlike the godbotherering bitterclingers on the right who don’t want to have to pay for your rubbers and abortions, we are all about supporting privacy rights.
“Now. Who wants to see that cocksucker Romney’s tax returns…?”
Tapper’s “Don’t be a stranger” quip was awesome.
There are times when it’s difficult to differentiate between your humor and actual news reporting. This is one of those times.
lol there is a good reason why this is the only political blog I bother reading. It might be the cocksucker part
Via Ulsterman:
The notion that Obama can kick another man’s ass is absurd.
It might be the cocksucker part
– You should have seen it back in the days of fun with sockpuppets and DEFIANT COCKS OF TRUTH, FIGHTING THE PROGRESSIVE HYPOCRACY!!!!!
– But I do heart the way you think pilgrim.
– In similiar news: Enjoy the scent of burning statists heads in the morning, or as Mickey D’s would say, I’m loving it.
– And on a terribly sad note, comedian Phyllis Diller has died.
Not so much if you remember Michelle Obama. She has fantastice upper arms, don’t you know?
Heh. I’d pay good money to watch Rubio beat the Wonce to a pulp. Rubio’s wife could take Michelle. Never piss off a Latina chick. Trust me.
fantastice : (adjective) origin: totally bullshit made up word by accident
1- the most fantastic ever.
2- dominantly fantastic
3- the first historical achievement of something that damn fantastic.
Dude, you’re merely adding words to the Outlaw!™ Lexicon.
Todd Akin (Dumbass-Missouri) moves to withdraw.
First WH press conference in months, question 1, condensed, paraphrased, distilled to its essential truthiness: Does Akin represent the real Republican position on rape?
Here’s the thing, mv: how would Obama claim to know the real GOP position? Hasn’t Edward Said taught him about presuming to speak with authenticity about those you can not hope to ever understand? We are Other. And that question is but the niggerization of WH press conferencing.
Haters.
The notion that Obama can kick another man’s ass is absurd.
I would totally pay $ to see him attempt it, though.
Same here, missfixit. He probably fights like a girl, too.
TRS does the work the White House press corpse can’t be bothered to do.
– With the Pravda media in the tankrefusing to ask him any questions about himself or his record, and Obama having proved for almost three months he’s a one question president, I figure the next question will be:
– “So then mister president, when are you going to show us Romneys tax returns?”
– You should have seen it back in the days of fun with sockpuppets and DEFIANT COCKS OF TRUTH, FIGHTING THE PROGRESSIVE HYPOCRACY!!!!!
I showed up here right after that, I think. I miss the days of Billy Jack and Obama having talks about women. (That must have been during the ’08 campaign)
:)
Same here, missfixit. He probably fights like a girl, too.
another reason to love shotguns. Levels the playing field a bit.
But yeah ever since that iconic picture of him in his mom jeans, riding his bicycle with his widdle bike helmet….
damn.
He makes me feel butch and I’m anything but.
– If Jeff is feeling a little better today maybe we can coax a little Billy Jack philosophycal analysis on this ‘night at the improv’ stand up comedy campaign.
I met the real Billy Jack (Tom McLaughlin) when I was in high school. We had an official “Billy Jack Day” and he talked about … I can’t remember what he talked about because it wasn’t very interesting.
He ‘s really short, too. Like Tom Cruise short.
A little more Presidential Othering
…Obama’s trash-talking competitiveness, a trait that has defined him since his days on the
courtbench as a basketball-obsessed teenager in Hawaii…ftfy
Here’s the interesting thing about Todd Akin. He said something irretrievably stupid for which he apologized and will now apparently withdraw from the race for the Senate. Now there’s a concrete example of somebody actually taking responsibility for something he did rather than just saying he takes responsibility and punishing himself by, say, leaving out a lump of sugar in his morning tea as penance. Now, what are the odds we see some resignations from Obama’s team for saying equally irretrievably stupid things?
As an aside, losing Akin to bring back Jim Talent would not be such a bad thing.
“. . . Jim Talent . . .’
What happens to John Brunner and Sarah Steelman? Poof? They turn to potted plants?
Steelman and Brunner are certainly eligible, but from what I’ve read when a nominee withdraws it’s a party decision who replaces him, and the party doesn’t have to consider the primary election results.
At all.
can you have really effective trash talking wearing mom jeans?
Trash Talking?
Is that trash as an adjective such as he is a “champion trash talker” or is that trash as a noun as in “Is that piece of trash talking again?”
Let’s face it when Obama speaks it’s more like number 2(no pun intended).
Everything “worked”? So this mess was by design?
Thanks for the clarification. I was willing to give you the benefit of doubt Mr. President that you were just a bumbling fucking idiot.
can you have really effective trash talking wearing mom jeans?
no. but you could knit a penis koozie while wearing mom jeans, I bet.
http://craftastrophe.net/2011/04/nsfw-farewell/
Who could forget the GAYPRONCOCKOFLIES !!!
That’ a long winded way of saying “lucky bastard.”
Look, the Obama campaign did exactly three things right: They won Iowa; they kept asking people did they really want 4 to eight more years of Clinton after 20 years of Bush-Clinton-Bush, and Obama was able to knock a hanging curveball out of the park in the debates.
And that last example is really more an example of the Clinton campaign making an unforced error.
Sort of like the whole of the Republican primary season in ’08.
I don’t remember Obama being particularly outstanding as a debator. I thought he ran a dirty campaign last time and is this time, too. He doesn’t have the air support that he did last time, though.
“I have many people advising me. And when I’m President, I look forward to having your advice too, Hillary.”
In response to a question to him about Clinton’s “3am” ad, and Obama’s obvious dependence on advisors vis-a-vis foreign policy. Hillary had to interject and make it about her instead of keeping her gob shut.
So Obama did just that.
Thanks. I’d forgotten that. She is so shrill and he’s such a smarmy dumbass I wasn’t really listening.
Like I said, unforced error.
Kind of like when Bubba legitimated Obama as authentically black by comparing his North Carolina win to Jesse Jackson’s. The smart move would have been to have surrogates in the community talking about his white grandmother. Real bone-headed move, Bubba.
Or was it?
Rumor has it that Bill is being, shall we say, uncooperative about what he is to say and not say at the DNC. A Clinton never forgives or forgets.
Obama does not choose his enemies wisely.
Bill Clinton is going to do what’s best for Bill Clinton.
As far the the DNC thing is concerned, what’s best for Bill Clinton is to have Obama owe his reelection to him.
He’ll play nice.
Fucking SEKs link whoring
I thought I was a failed scholar. Now I’m a failed creative writer, too?
Bad week for me I guess.
Incidentally, how’s SEK’s academic career going? I mean, at least I had the excuse that we had 911, then a baby, and that I absolutely rebelled against the orthodoxy of the Humanities prof club before deciding on my own not to pursue academia further. But SEK said all the right things and used all the right code language and seemed to really really want to be a smirking, condescending prof. He should be a Dean somewhere by now, right?
When last we checked he had managed to grow a pedo beard. That’s gotta count for something.
That trackback never seemed to lead anywhere. Was it ineptitude on the SEK end, or some other thing?
Not that I care. A gang of guys whose chief distinguishing characteristic is smugness is not really my thing. Hearing a bunch of white men lecture me how racist is the Republican party is…well, tragic.
Dunno. I never click ’em. I just delete ’em.
For the record, though? Every short story I sent out was accepted for publication. But I suppose if these immoral dickbags can turn “tolerance” into tyranny and “freedom” into slavery, they can resignify “failure” to be success, and “success” to be “the noble striving of the welfare set and their government sugar daddies.”