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Time Magazine: Paul Ryan’s Unchristian budget might just mean he’s in league with demons

Or maybe not. I stopped reading after the first paragraph because I already knew where the piece was going:

Jesus hated when people did for themselves, and had the racist republicans not nailed him to some wooden planks first, he would have identified Milton Friedman as the Devil.

Because what Jesus wanted was for all those under Empire rule to rely on the Roman government for their upkeep — and in return, these lambs of the State only needed do what the Romans told them to do, believe what the Romans said to believe, reject as hateful anything the Romans insisted was hateful, and then sit back and collect their food stamps. Charity is the bailiwick of the State, Jesus taught us — so to make sure your soul is saved, you should probably just let the State take care of the goodness thing for you.

Which is why the Roman Empire still stands today as a paradise on earth, filled with the bestest of all Christians.

The end.

19 Replies to “Time Magazine: Paul Ryan’s Unchristian budget might just mean he’s in league with demons”

  1. cranky-d says:

    The only time the left cares about religion or a candidate having been in the armed forces is when those things can be used as a cudgel against the right. They think those not on the left are simpletons who can be easily manipulated by pushing the proper buttons.

    Their ideological blinders are so confining that sometimes it amazes me that any of them can actually function in the real world.

  2. Ernst Schreiber says:

    The state can’t love you.

    That’s never stopped proggresives from trying to make you love it, however.

  3. sdferr says:

    There’s a real world? They didn’t know!

    And boy howdy, will they be surprised to learn of it.

  4. Squid says:

    Just to insert a bit of Judeo- into our -Christian values, let us not forget the Pentateuch, where a bunch of Joobaggers convinced their people that the awesome shovel-ready construction projects and Pharaoh-provided shelter and health care were no good for them. For their foolishness, they were forced to wander the desert wilderness for 40 years! Do you want your children’s children to be born as desert nomads?!

    The Torah (like the Bible) says that you will repent, and accept the loving embrace of your strong central authorities.

  5. cranky-d says:

    There is a real world, and many of them manage to function in it without actually knowing it’s there.

  6. dicentra says:

    Yeah, Jesus was the archetypal Progressive of his day. He organized his disciples to stage multiple strikes and protests to demand better work hours, lavish pensions, and full-coverage health care. And same-sex marriage.

    Then he cozied up to the Pharisees and Sadducees and scribes and with the mighty might of their combined intellect and good intentions, cobbled together a utopian society with himself as Prime Administrator of the Benevolent State Apparatus.

    Then he set up a council for the arts to indulge every artistic whim on the public dime drachma or whatever.

    Yup, these modern Christians have it all wrong.

    Perverts.

  7. Pablo says:

    Oooh! Lefties getting Biblical? Okey dokey. Rule Number One:

    “I am The Lord your God, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me.”

    Discuss. You go first, Mr. Obama. Extra points for explaining the significance of Pharaoh inferred therein.

  8. Pablo says:

    He organized his disciples to stage multiple strikes and protests to demand better work hours, lavish pensions, and full-coverage health care. And same-sex marriage.

    It’s like all he ever talked about was what Caesar needed to do for the poor, and how much God loves sodomy.

  9. sdferr says:

    ” He organized his disciples to stage multiple strikes and protests to demand better work hours, lavish pensions, and full-coverage health care. And same-sex marriage.”

    Looks like you’ve inadvertently left out the asbestos abatement campaign. But that was, admittedly, an early, quiet and not so successful one among the bunch.

  10. sdferr says:

    Us’uns alls standin’ ready fer owah shakkles fittin’, massah.

  11. George Orwell says:

    It’s like all he ever talked about was what Caesar needed to do for the poor, and how much God loves sodomy.

    I see you are familiar with Unitarians and Episcopalians.

  12. JHoward says:

    God loves sodomy.

    Three words never used together before in the history of words. h/t to Pablo and pw for original thought.

  13. JHoward says:

    multiple strikes and protests to demand better work hours, lavish pensions, and full-coverage health care.

    And five day unsupervised weekend getaways for your agency featuring sweepstakes and fancy hotel rooms.

    Oh, and a $1T department of health and human services. Heavy on the human services.

  14. McGehee says:

    The state can’t love you.

    And I wish it would get it through its damn head that I ain’t never gonna love it, neither.

  15. scooter says:

    2 Thessalonians Chapter 3:

    7 For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example. We were not idle when we were with you, 8 nor did we eat anyone’s food without paying for it. On the contrary, we worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. 9 We did this, not because we do not have the right to such help, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you to imitate. 10 For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: “The one who is unwilling to work shall not eat.” (emphasis mine)

    Just something to consider.

  16. scooter says:

    I mean, the bible is still considered Christian, isn’t it?

  17. Squid says:

    The rest of that passage is equally instructive, scooter:

    11 We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies. 12 Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the food they eat. 13 And as for you, brothers and sisters, never tire of doing what is good.

    14 Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed. 15 Yet do not regard them as an enemy, but warn them as you would a fellow believer.

    Can you imagine a group thinking that shameful behavior should, well, y’know, cause shame? Or that people should tirelessly do good works, even when confronted with ungrateful layabouts? Or that such folk should be treated as wayward brothers, and not enemies?

    Has there ever been a clearer depiction of the difference between the two sides? I can’t believe I never remembered this passage. So much for my bragging rights as the most religiously literate agnostic on the block.

  18. Yes, but that was before all the research that indicated self esteem trumps all.

  19. Ernst Schreiber says:

    God loves sodomy

    He had a funny way of showing it to the Sodomites.

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