for Martha Stewart
And I have known the eyes already, known them allâ€â€
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?
****
The Almost-Complete Martha Chronicles
Go ahead, Jeff, eat a peach. You deserve it.
Do you think there’s a chance that “Martha: The Missing Days 1 through 11” will ever be ‘found’?
Those, and the missing penultimate week’s entries. They will be exclusive to the Martha Stewart Chronicles: The Collected Journal Entries, Marginalia, and Prison Poetry book.
I think he should just wear his trousers rolled. Peaches are out of season.
Will she or you do the book tour?
Oh, wait, she can’t leave the house!!
(snork)
“Martha Stewart Chronicles: The Collected Journal Entries, Marginalia, and Prison Poetry book.”
Shouldn’t that be “genitalia?”
“The Vagina Monologues, Camp Cupcake Edition, or How I Went to the Slammer, and Learned to Love Pie.”
Keyword, “off,” as in, now I’m gonna have to get myself off.
Quote from Martha’s website:
“The experience of the last five months in Alderson, West Virginia has been life altering and life affirming. Someday, I hope to have the chance to talk more about all that has happened, the extraordinary people I have met here and all that I have learned. And if I ever find out where that bastard Goldstein lives, I’m gonna put the shiv I kept to good use.”
Genuine LOL moment. Thanks, CraigC!
I’d just hate to have forgeries flood the market in 50 years when I’m too senile to help contest them…
AS A CITIZEN JOURNALIST READER IT IS MY SOLEMN DUTY TO HELP KEEP THE RECORD STRAIGHT!!!!!!
Human voices wake us, and we drown.
Where exactly would one place the shiv on the table in a formal dining situation?
Nowhere, my good man. Etiquette requires that it be concealed but easily accessible in case of loud-mouthed bitches..
keyword, “points”
Great stuff, Jeff.
I told the kidz (all six of’em) at Discarded Lies about this.
Feel free to wander over and say hi to the lizardoid refugees.
I would respond with a few devastating lines of Dylan Thomas, but no one here sounds slobbering drunk enough to appreciate it.
Come on, dude….do the people here need to be slobbering drunk to appreciate Dylan Thomas? Or, for that matter, anything, really?
Let’s see
Uh, probably would sound better with a little lubrication. I’ll try again this evening, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get as drunk as Thomas was when he wrote it.