yin: “I’m sorry. Really.”
yang: “Whatever.â€Â
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
yang: “…now pull up your pants and stop laying in the fishpond. The neighbors are watching.”
Perfect summary of the Clinton marriage. But how does Monica fit into this whole yinyang thing?
Oh, wait. . .
Yin: I’m sorry. Really.
Yang: Whatever. Youre not sorry. Youre never sorry! I HATE YOU ! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU !!!
Yin: Oh, ya.. You know what ? Youre right..
I’M NOT SORRY YOU SHREW BITCH! I HATE YOU TOO !!
HATE YOU ! HATE YOU ! HATE YOU !
Yang: Gawd.. I am so turned on..!! ::panting::
Yin: Gawdddd so am I… ::heavy breathing::
Yang: Well? What are you waiting for ..
TAKE ME BUCCANEER !!! USE ME LIKE THE LITTLE SHREW BITCH I AM!!!
Yin: I’m so there !!
Yin is the female principle.
Yang is the male principle.
Geez!
Twits.
But I mean that only in the nicest and most positive and constructive way . . .
Part Deux (1 hour, 37 minutes later)
Yin: ::Gasping for air:: Oh God.. Oh God.. that was .. whewww..that was so good.. you about gave me a heart attack..
Yang: ::still twitching:: That was great.. I’ve never got off like that before.. that was… wheewww
Yin: Babe, hand me my cigarettes off the nightstand will ya?
Yang: Nooo.. dont smoke in here.. it stinks up the house.. roll over here and cuddle with me awhile..
Yin: Heh.. no really.. I need a cigarette..
Yang: Heh.. well ‘really’.. If I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times. Dont smoke in the house! Now GET over here..
Yin: GIVE ME MY GODDAM CIGARETTES !
Yang: ::flings them around the room: YOU WANT YOURE PRECIOUS CIGARETTES.. GO GET ‘EM !!
Yin: God I HATE YOU YOU SHREW BITCH!!!
YANG: NOT AS MUCH AS I HATE YOU.. you.. you
Arrggh!! I HATE YOU !!! HATE YOU!!
(once again all is right and in balance in the world)
Keyword: children
As in: Hope they dont have any.
OK.. reverse the YINs and the YANGS
Sorry for any confusion caused by my error.
Alpha Baboon
Keyword: member
cant we get away from talking about members for awhile you stupid AI..
So now we’re talking about Jeff’s yinyang? I thought that Gannon thing had played out.
Spam word: dusty. She wants me so bad.
Sorry Jay.. she’s taken.. BY ME!!
No mere Human could satisfy her…No mere human could tame her.. It takes an ALPHA BABOON and the secret Baboon sexual techniques know only to worldclass Baboon lovers such as myself… but feel free to fantasize about her all you like.
Don Juan de Baboon
I say lets let Jeff do the funny stuff and we just comment on it…mmkkk?
For MG:
Yin: I’m sorry, but as a Major Blogger, I can’t do that….even though I’d love to….
Yang: Hmmmm….I think my sock is stuck in my shoe…..
Keyword, “water,” as in, somebody bring me some water!
Goldstein: So what’s the deal with everyone comping the “playwright” bit in the comments?
Tman:
Goldstein:”I get a nice run with the Scenes from a Fallujah Bunker, and folks are comping it in to a conceptual Zen series?”
Tman:
Goldstein:” Whore. You’re linking yourself right now, aren’t you???”
Tman” What? That’s crazy Jeff. Calm down. Blog aren’t about who has the biggest dick….”
Goldstein: “You’re still a whore.”
Tman” Hey, no one is paying me……………I do this for fun man..”
Interestingly, the post’s title still works if you change “interpersonal” to “intrapersonal” so long as the person under consideration is schizophrenic.
yin: “I know you’re upset with yourself over the mistake you made, so I’m not going to lecture you about it.”
yang: “If you ever fuck up like this again, you’re fucking dead to me!”
For MG:
It’s night, again
Time for my mind to go wandering
Off on a journey, through space and time
In search of a face I can never find
So I close my eyes and look inside
I can’t forget
The night that I saw her we never met
She felt so close to me as I reached for her hand
She drifted away like the desert sand
It was her and she was gone
I wish she’d come back tonight
Like a star shining bright
I don’t know where she’s from
She’s like a girl on the moon
A girl on the moon
She’s like a girl on the moon
A girl on the moon
Yeah it’s night, once again
And that same old feeling is setting in
It all seems so familiar but I hope this time
That the girl on the moon will soon be mine
All mine, tonight
Am I asking too much
Should I leave my dream untouched
Should I even know where she’s from
My, girl on the moon
She’s my girl on the moon
Girl on the moon
My girl on the moon
Girl on the moon
My girl on the moon
Girl on the moon
Girl on the moon
Girl on the moon
Fille sur la lune
Girl on the moon
Fille sur la lune
Ha, keyword, “position”
RWS–Oh, it’s too late for that. Jeff’s evil genius has attracted the Alpha Baboon, known BiPolar spirograph(heh), and now the comments have gone to a whole new level. Jeff is the evil posting overlord who sets the wheels in motion and just watches his unruly myrmidons wreak havoc. All commenters were issued a dictionary, thesaurus, urban dictionary, the complete works of Charles Dickens, and some Greek crap that you can’t read without pebbles in your mouth–still no spellcheck so there continues to be ample amusement for the literatzzi. Your new equipment is likely sitting on your doorstep right now. Once a blog makes this evolutionary leap it goes from being a “picture blog” to being a full blown “chapter blog”–you’ll note the TOTAL LACK OF PICTURES. And it attracts a whole new range of predators, like Hellblazer. Oh! And the girls are playing Charlie’s Angels! Since there were so many over the years, just pick one and go save the world in tight pants and skimpy plots. Hi-ya! Pajama party at Jeff’s! Pajama party at Jeff’s!
::dropping out of character::
mmmm So what say you Jeff ? Does the above reflect your wishes ? This is your blog. Are the commentators to remain passive spectators ? Or was the above simply aimed at me ? Please tell me this isnt about the couple people that commented that they liked my military dialogues..
Ironic, only the other day I wrote an e-mail to as many friends and aquaintances as I could think of urging them to check out PW.. I wrote ”not only is Jeff’s blog fresh, unusual, well written and often hilarious.. but its only half the show. The commentators are the other half, Theyre comic geniuses in their own right.. Many are bloggers or writers themselves. So you get a ‘Two’fer’.”
And thats still my opinion of your excellent blog.
So what now? What kind of blog do you want going forward? Should comments be limited to praise ? e.g. “hahaha great post! Too funny!” or is the above comment simply a nonconfrontional, sardonic way of saying to me “sit down and shut up”..
Forgive me if I’ve misinterpretted anything. For some reason I associate RWS with you and assume she is parrotting your views.
I think Tman said it perfectly.” Blog isnt about who has the biggest dick. I dont get paid..I just do this for fun, man”
Respond publically in thread or privately at;
. I look forward to hearing your views.
Sorry to be a buzz kill guys.. go back to laughing now.. go on !!!
-Jake
previously ‘Alpha Baboon’, Bi(polar)_In_Seattle,
Musab al-Zarquawi, Jeff Gannon, Rin_Tin_Tin, BPiS, Bee Piss, et al
Turing word: property
As in: The above property of Schizo Productions 2005
Commenting as Not-Jeff: Ah, Grasshopper. When one has reached great BLOG MOJO NIRVANA one benevolently allows funny wordy commenter and enjoys the new chi like mother frog enjoys active tadpole. Only inferior or weak blog is threatened and staunches chi not of own making. Jeff great performance artist, not petulant self-serving insecure control-freak whiner.
(If he didn’t want you here you would perhaps have left with your tail between your legs a while ago. Judging from the comments, I think that we’ve all come to enjoy this little writing eccentricity of yours–it’s your schtick and if someone doesn’t want to read it, they won’t. We’ll work around you if you’re annoying.)
All Hail Jeff!
Hail.
Hail.
Thank you Ana.. Youre exactly correct.. Jeff isnt JUST a performer.. He’s an artist.. a director.. a Magus pulling the strings.. a paradigm of avant-garde humor.. He’s dada..
Although I’ve never left anyplace with my tail between my legs.. I also wont hang around and be a pest like Hellblazer.
I hope you are right Master Po..
-Kwai Chang Baboon
Turing word: fine
As in: Larry Fine Award
Hellblazer is a pest because he walks into the cocktail party, assumes he undertands all, and proceeds to tell everyone why the conversations are all beneath him. He wouldn’t be a pest if he were an informed asshole. Assholery isn’t his problem. Ignorance coupled with arrogance is intollerable. (You, by the way, don’t sufer from assholery, ignorance, or arrogance.)
Spamword: control
All Hail Jeff.
’Cause he’s like Owen Glendower. Only not so many children.
Jeff: [peers narrowly at Alpha] I didn’t get an “All Hail” outta that guy !
Alpha: Sorry, Jeff. All Hail Jeff !
Jeff: You watch your ass !
Ok..not ignorant.. not arrogant.. I’ll buy that.. but I take exception to being called NOT an Asshole … I am such an asshole that I demand that I be addressed as ‘Your Assholiness’ from now on, coupled with the appropriate hand gesture just as one would address His Assholiness Emporer Wang The Perverted, ruler of Planet Porno..
All Hail Jeff !
All Hail Jeff !
All Hail Jeff !
His Assholiness Pious Baboon XVIII
GLENDOWER
I can call spirits from the vasty deep.
GOLDSTEIN
Why, so can I, better than any man;
For will they come when you do call for them?
Vasty deep…well, that explains the trolls.
Exactly. Have you noticed how fast Hellblazer shows up when Jeff links him?
The thing is, Alpha Baboon, this post is about interpersonal relationships, so I’m not buying that stuff about Jeff being “dada.” That’s just sick, man. You and Koko need to chill.
Boomboom, Boomboom, Boomboom
Freedom: Dada Dada Dada, a roaring of tense colors, and interlacing of opposites and of all contradictions, grotesques, inconsistencies: LIFE
Hail Jeff !
What drug cocktail is optimal to understand this comment thread?
Thanks in advance.
<jostled awake> Huh? Wha—?
Oh. Yeah. Uh, hail Jeff!
<dozes off again>
..of course I say that with total indifference.. because I am dada.. but not dada..
What drug cocktail is optimal to understand this comment thread?
A Viagra Speedball with a chaser of monkey hormones
The comments in this thread have blown up faster than a donkey huffing benzene in the backseat of a Cadillac on a hot Sunday afternoon. And I like that.
I hate you, Dan. And that’s the way it was.
All Jail Hef!
(Damned spoonerisms.)
Well that’s what happens when you take too many spoonerisnms. See it says so right here on the bottle: May cause slurred speech.
Am I the only one here who doesn’t have a schtick? I want a schtick, too! Where do I get one? Suggestions?
You DO have a schtick. It came with your Urban Dictionary. It’s probably in with the packing peanuts.
If that’s not dada I don’t know what is.
Nope, no schtick there. And mine came with those billowy air pillow things like Amazon uses, not packing peanuts. And “schtick” wasn’t even on the packing list. I WANT A SCHTICK!
Would you settle for five smooth stones?
What’s my schtick?
spam word “act” – I kid you not.
You’re the spam word guy.
There ya go, Ana. Now I’m complete.
The first rule of Shtick Club is, Don’t talk about Shtick Club.
You’re only as sick as your secrets, McGehee.
I FOUND MY SCHTICK! It was underneath the bubble wrap, covered by one of those little Stay-Dry packets that you’re not supposed to eat. I now know what my Schtick is! WooHoo!
But I can’t talk about it.
Where’s Ardolino when you need him?
Ouch!