As you read this post, agitated former child star Corey Feldman hurriedly climbs down off his Stair Master and rushes to change the radio station, but not before the first few bars of Michael Jackson’s classic pop-anthem “Beat It” create a guilty little stir in his Guess warmup pants.*
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Corey Feldman is so far out of the limelight that the only way he sees back to celebrity ( since the appearance on Surreal Life didn’t generate a comeback for him like it did Brigette Nielsen ) is to say to the world: “Hey, look at me, maybe Michael Jackson molested me and I had too much coke in me to notice.”
And in a related story (no, really), all the other washed-up, has-been, and never-were Hollywood Coreys from the 1980’s put out a press release in an attempt to distance themselves from the ickey Corey.
Said spokesman Corey Haim, “No, really dude, even though nobody knew who we were back then either, you guys were always getting us mixed up!”
Michael Jackson was the proximate cause of me switching to country music
Howard Stern whined long and hard about Corey appearing on his show so many times and now that he actually has something to say, Corey runs to Martin Bashir and ABC.
Howard opines that blowing the whistle on Michael was the only way Corey could get back in the limelight.
Methinks the whistle may not be the only thing that got blown.
Ten or so years ago, LaToya aligned herself with her brother’s accusers and was on a talk show discussing it. Corey Feldman called in and said he and Michael had spent all this time together and he had never touched him, therefore, he wasn’t a pedophile. LaToya shot back that Michael told her that Corey was an ugly white boy and that he would never have sex with him. They really got into it, too. Now, she is defending Michael and Corey is his accuser.
Disclaimer: I really liked the Lost Boys.
I thought Corey Feldman was superb as Igor in “Young Frankenstein.”
What ‘ump?