Bored, she asked, “So. Feel like going out, maybe getting a burger or something?”
He raked her with his eyes. “A burger?” he spat. “What do I look like, a fucking Rockefeller?”
~ finis ~
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
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“The Future Obama Economy”: (the sequel)
Narrowing her eyes, face scowling in open contempt, she gasped a shrill reply, “Listen you metrosexual twit….. If you were half a man you’d tell that clusterfuck Central planning commitee to fuck off, and go get a real job….goddamned sniveling peckerhead”, she mumbled under her breath as she stomped out, the door almost wrenched off its hinges as it slammed behind her.
For the next few moments he sat in angry silence, trying to decide what excuse he’d give his precinct monitor for her ungrateful behavior, then gave up and switched on the TV to stare at hamberger ads on the history channel.
~finis – part deux~
Dollar rations increased by 20%!
Lord Krugman overheard her request and let her know in a thin reedy voice that if only Obama had spent another $4T during his first term the economy would have been just fine.
“No problem, babe,” she retorted. “We’ll mug a Rockefeller as he comes out of McDonald’s and take his burger.”
Random observation: Bush got way more taxes out of me than Obama has. You know, what with actually working and shit…
I should have said ‘more taxes than Obama has, or ever will‘.
“Anybody gone into Whole Foods lately and see what they charge for arugula?” Obama asked an Iowa crowd in 2007.
– The Wonce will be avoiding such questions adroitly for the foreseeable future.
geez, what an optimist! Who even expects beef in a future dominated by Left-enviroweenies?
You fool! Hamburgers nearly destroyed life on this planet! Our diet of Organic-style Synthetic rice loaf and CHEEZ(TM) is our only hope of justifying our carbon footprint in the context of an Earth aware policy driven cost benefit analysis!
did you know that drizzling extra virgin olive oil on your soylent green improves the flavor.
“Next you’ll be asking if we can get our own individual burgers.”
I was going to post Fatboy Slim’s Rockafeller Skank, but that song really kind of sucks.
Hamburgers were the tool of the defunct Auto-extinctionist movement that sought to intentionally wipe out all life on Earth by discouraging the proletariat from adopting a default position of full and automatic cooperation with the policies or even whims of the experts and authorities who were unfortunately in their mercy, obliged to use FORCE to save us from ourselves. And put us in moldy arcologies and give those few of us who were proved trustworthy enough access to community owned bicycles.
Did she mention that by “hamburger”, she meant a rice cake baked brown, served with a leaf of cabbage between two rice cakes softened with sodium free soy sauce? Yumm.
Reconstituted cabbage paste actually. But it’s vitamin fortified and bombarded with positive love vibes. And there’s some iodine and antibiotics in there.
Go out? Out? But curfew! We’ve used up all of our outside ration for the month. Er…I mean People’s Greater Rational Time Unit.
– Hey. the Koreans have survived on it for centuries. They call it “kimchee”.
“The Future Obama Economy”: (requiem)
“What a mess”. The Peoples crime and investigations unit from the central commitee combed over the death scene.
“How long you think?” Standish asked. “Oh hell, at least six months judging from the condition of the couch”, Vogul replied,
“Cause?”, Standish inquired. “Best guess….we found a small trail of sesemee seed bun on the floor by the tea table, and traces of raw ground beef on both victims lips…..they just never learn”.
“Yeh….okay….write it up as “death by pink slime overdose”, and lets get the hell out of hear…this place stinks.”
~ finis ~
My Gawd, but that shit is foul. And I never did eat school-lunch sauerkraut on biohazard Wednesdays, either.
~Special Blue Ray alternative ending~
‘ “Narrowing her eyes, face scowling in open contempt, she gasped a shrill reply, “Listen you metrosexual twit….. If you were half a man you’d tell that clusterfuck Central planning commitee to fuck off, and go get a real job….goddamned sniveling peckerhead”, she mumbled under her breath as she stomped out, the door almost wrenched off its hinges as it slammed behind her.”
He walked to the window and yelled to her ‘hey biatch, they call it the Nanny State, not the Pappy State, for a reason. You ‘womyn’ worked hard in your war on boys, and your war on Men. How’d that work out for you, hmm? You wanted the gubbmint to ‘get involved’ and ‘help people’ so it could be your daddy and husband, and now you got it good and hard. How’s that govt cock taste after it’s been up everyone’s ass? And I’d get a real job, but I don’t get extra points on my application like you do, because I don’t have a vag. ‘
And then he went on to not growing up and not caring about what happened next.’
I’m thinking it’s a Stanley Kowalski meets Twilight mashup.
“Rockefeller! ” he cried! “Rockefeller!”
But it was too late. A nimbus of pensive fire meta-leapt mournfully from her myopic sky-penis as all meaning ubiquitouslydrained from the English language like an organic clean burning kinetic military action fiddling while hope changes… blurrrnnn..ooorrr
….daaaaaaaiiissssy….
…vmvnmnnnv…
mdnhfeh…
The paralegals will help you if you feel woozy…
Oysters Rockefeller
Ingredients
2 slices bacon
24 unopened, fresh, live medium oysters
1 1/2 cups cooked spinach
1/3 cup bread crumbs
1/4 cup chopped green onions
1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 dash hot pepper sauce
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 teaspoon anise flavored liqueur
4 cups kosher salt
please also consider using extra virgin olive oil on your arugula and soylent green salad
Future Obama Economy, the sequel:
Neighbor, ear pressed against the wall: Earl! you gotta hear this, she’s asking for hamburgers!
Voice from the living room: Fer crying out loud Cathleen, do ya hafta monitor everything? I’ve already called the PC Commissar twice this week!
Cathleen, scribbling in a notebook: Sure…mister compassionate. You didn’t mind when we got an extra ration of toilet paper for that, now did you?
As this sixties era joke attests, the Soviets preceded us in the progress of progress:
The year was 2000, and Communism had finally been achieved. Little Sasha wanted to know about the mysteries of the harsh past.
“Daddy, what was Socialism?”
“That was when we had to pay for goods and services rather than having them distributed free according to our needs. If I wanted some butter, I had to stand in line to order it, stand in line to pay ten rubles in exchange for a chit, and stand in yet a third line to exchange the chit for the butter.”
“Daddy, what’s butter?”
It really doesn’t matter who wins in November.
why total repeal of barackycare is necessary
Could one word take down Obamacare?
zerohedge is awash in negativity, class envy and anti-antisemitism at the least in its comment section. Never really paid attention to that site before.
one anti should suffice where there are two
zerohedge is awash in negativity, class envy and anti-antisemitism at the least in its comment section.
baracky’s america
it’s our America too!
I don’t particularly give a shit what there awash in. GDP growth of 1% and debt growth of 21% (annualized) speaks for itself.
I do give a shit about grammer, however. So now I’m off to mix a cocktail. That way, I’ll have an excuse.
it’s our America too!
nein to “transformational change”
NR not to be difficult but transformational change is exactly what is called for. It just isn’t the Barcky Brand that is needed.
but transformational change is exactly what is called for. It just isn’t the Barcky Brand that is needed.
chop chop
We shall go on to the end, we shall mock them
fightin France, we shall mock themfighton the seas and oceans, we shall mock themfightwith growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall mock themfighton the beaches, we shall mock themfighton the landing grounds, we shall mock themfightin the fields and in the streets, we shall mock themfightin the hills; we shall never surrender“The Future Obama Economy”:
(Special SNL alternate ending)
She tilted her head slightly in response to the tapping on the front door. In a furtive, tiny voice she half spoke, half whispered, “y-y-yes….w-whos….t-there?”
A barely audible response, “Peoples Central committee for food and beverages….”
“W-What….I can’t hear you….”
Muffled response, “Candy gram…”
“I still can’t understand what you’re saying….”
Sotto reply, “Land shark…”
Risimg, and moving to the door,she started to speak as her hand closed on the knob, “Okay, just a minute…I need to open the door so I can….”
~Fins~
LEAVE KIMCHEE ALONE!!11! Or, hate it, actually….more for me that way!
I am glad to see this nanofiction (despite the awful truth behind it). Jeff is a master of the art form.
What say we go with “Restoration?”
OT…Stanley Fish has unloaded the canons. This one’s a beauty…
Slightly off topic, but…
Perry Baggs died last Thursday. Perry was the drummer for Jason And The Scorchers and as nice a guy as ever walked the earth. He was the best musician in this incredible group and played drums cause nobody else could, otherwise hed’a been out there with a guitar battling Jason and Warner for the spotlight. I’m gonna miss him. And Rick. And Becky.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcW9qtroiNY