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9 suggested titles for the inevitable CBS biopic on the life of “Jeff Gannon” (starring Adrian Pasdar)

  1. Not Without My Cock Ring:  The JD Guckert Story
  2. “Look, Everybody—A Gay Republican!  Let’s Point and Laugh and Highlight the Hypocrisy”:  The Story of Jeff Gannon
  3. “8 Inches Cut:” Tales of a White House “Insider”
  4. Mr. HairlessGayManWhore Goes to Washington
  5. The Falcon and the Snowballer:  The Secret Life of Jeff Gannon
  6. Baadassss:  The Life and Sweet, Sweet Times of JD Guckert
  7. Lock, Stock, and Two Voracious Man Tongues
  8. Doggie-Style Day Afternoon:  JD Guckert Gets a Day Pass
  9. Citizen Came:  The Jeff Gannon Story

100 Replies to “9 suggested titles for the inevitable CBS biopic on the life of “Jeff Gannon” (starring Adrian Pasdar)”

  1. Allah says:

    Butt Pirates of the Caribbean

  2. Joe says:

    I thought #7 was Lock, Stock, and Smoking Two 8” Barrels.

    Turing word “there”, as in there’s no there, there.

  3. Beto Ochoa says:

    “Lord of the Cock Rings the Return of the Queen”

  4. Matt Moore says:

    I Know My Name is Jim… I Mean Jeff

  5. JSW says:

    All the President’s Men?? Whoopee!

  6. Allah says:

    Guckert: The Man and His Cream

    Actually, I kind of like just plain Guckert!, with the exclamation point.  Maybe do it as a series instead of a movie.  Disgraced White House correspondent J.D. Guckert tries to pick up the pieces and atone by opening a private detective agency devoted to outing closeted gay Republicans.  With the help of a sassy bloodhound named Chips, Guckert’s adventures will take him inside America’s corridors of power and up the poop chutes of some very special guest stars, including recurring love interest Duncan “Atrios” Black.  Stay tuned for the season cliffhanger when J.D. and Chips blow the lid off an amyl nitrate ring being run out of—1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?! All this and more, on Guckert!

  7. Matt Moore says:

    OT, but the current tagline has been there a long time, hasn’t it? And there’s no more Jewish/Israeli blog awards that require you to announce that you’re a Hebe.

  8. skinbad says:

    Fists of fury?

  9. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Matt —

    Yeah, I’ve been remiss.

    Allah–

    I suspect you’ve just sparked the next Iowahawk piece.

    Skinbad —

    Thanks for noticing.

  10. skinbad says:

    Above the rim?

  11. Salt Lick says:

    With the help of a sassy bloodhound named Chips,

    See, this is where you guys always lose me, the beastiality thing.

    I AM A CITIZEN COMMENTER AND I OFFER $20 FOR PICTURES OF KURTZ AND THE LLAMA!

  12. CraigC says:

    Should’t that be “Below the Rim”

  13. hobgoblin says:

    Goldstein, I am becoming alarmed with your increasing fascination/infatuation with gay porn.

    Come back to the LIGHT, Jeff!

    Or don;t.  You might find a nice Jewish boy (cut).

    spamword: needs—apropos?

  14. Chrees says:

    Don’t forget Parker and Stone’s take on the story: Ream America.

    With marionettes! I can’t wait to hear the dick, pussy, asshole speech from that one…

  15. Alex says:

    Splendor In The Ass …

    Turing word: “forces.” Yowza!

  16. JWebb says:

    Willie Wanker and the Chocolate Factory

  17. Daniel says:

    BUTTerfield 8 (inches) *

  18. gail says:

    I’d like him to take a shot at a stage career with Coriolanus.

  19. gail says:

    Or how about Tis Pity He’s a Whore?

  20. Daniel says:

    From Here to Your Poop-Chute *

  21. gail says:

    Boys in the Attic

    Up the Down Staircase

  22. Beto Ochoa says:

    Hairy Pooper and the Order of the Penix

  23. Carin says:

    The Unbearable Lightness of being done in the Ass

  24. gail says:

    The Longest Gay

  25. JWebb says:

    Arse-Lick and Old Lace

  26. JWebb says:

    Saving Ryan’s Privates

  27. Matt says:

    Paths to Gloryhole: The Jeff Gannon Story

    The Endless Bummer?

  28. JWebb says:

    Jeff and Jame’s Excellent Ass Venture

    Vidi, Vici, Veni

    Manchewing Candidate

    Driving Mr. Daisy

  29. gail says:

    Good one JWebb, but how about Shaving Ryan’s Privates?

  30. gail says:

    How Light Were My Loafers

  31. JFH says:

    The Ass Menagerie?…. The Man Who Would be Kinky?… crap, I got nothing; I should leave this to the professionals.

  32. CraigC says:

    Ace in the Hole

    (Sorry, Ace)

  33. CraigC says:

    The REALLY Big Lebowski

  34. CraigC says:

    Bring Me the Head of Jeff Gannon

  35. CraigC says:

    Hope and Glory Hole

  36. CraigC says:

    The Magic Flute

  37. gail says:

    Blow: For a Few Dollars More

  38. gail says:

    Ed Would

  39. JWebb says:

    To Have and to Hole

    The Greatest Story Ever Toed

    Oklahomo

  40. Jimboy says:

    Not nearly as creative, but still somewhat humorous are the real movie titles that might apply:

    Fudge-A-Mania

    Pecker

    Carry On Dick

    Mr. Butt-In

    Black Hole High

    and finally,

    Dong

    Turing word is “out” like Ryan Seacrest is out of the freakin’ closet!

  41. CraigC says:

    The Naked and the Head

  42. CraigC says:

    The Naked IN the Head

  43. CraigC says:

    American Man-Booty

  44. CraigC says:

    Once Upon a Time in the Ass

  45. CraigC says:

    Night of the Living Head

  46. CraigC says:

    The Swisher King

  47. Daniel says:

    8 1/2 Inches

  48. CraigC says:

    Lord of the Ass Rings

  49. Daniel says:

    Yojizzbo

  50. CraigC says:

    The Assketball Diaries

  51. CraigC says:

    Through an Ass Darkly

  52. Daniel says:

    The Good, The Bad, And The 8” Uncut

  53. Yall could have a whole new career naming gay porn. I have never seen such talent.

    Allah’s is my favorite tho, just because of the thought of Johnny Depp’s butt.

  54. CraigC says:

    Midnight Plowboy

    keyword….”BALL!”

  55. Daniel says:

    F.I.S.T.-ing

  56. CraigC says:

    Some Like it Hot, and RIGHT in the Ass!

    Keyword, “church.” Oops.

  57. Daniel says:

    A Clockwork Pink

  58. CraigC says:

    Shouldn’t that be “A Clockwork Brown,” Daniel?

  59. CraigC says:

    It’s a Wonderful Life, as Long as Some Hunky Man-Stud is Fucking Me RIGHT in the Ass!

    Keyword, “doing.” You can’t make this stuff up.

  60. Daniel says:

    That’s the European version.

  61. CraigC says:

    Taking It In the Rear Window

  62. CraigC says:

    Dial F for Felching

    Keyword, “ready”

  63. Daniel says:

    Journey To The Center Of The Buttocks

  64. CraigC says:

    Back to the Felcher

  65. CraigC says:

    That Thing You Do in My Ass

  66. CraigC says:

    Felch, starring Chevy Chase as Jeff Gannon. 

    “You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll throw up all over your lap!

  67. Daniel says:

    I Heart Cock

  68. CraigC says:

    The Right Stuff All Over My Face

  69. gail says:

    Swallow Hal

  70. CraigC says:

    The Man Who Blew Too Much

  71. gail says:

    Sex, Guys, and Videotape

  72. CraigC says:

    Reamer vs. Reamer

  73. CraigC says:

    Please, somebody stop me.

  74. CraigC says:

    The Purple Star of Cairo

  75. Daniel says:

    Deliverance II: Back For More

  76. Daniel says:

    I think we both need to step away from our computers. Or at least check out another thread.

  77. Sean M. says:

    Gannon Balls, Runs

  78. I decided not to contribute to this thread.  ‘Cause its gay.

    Not that there is anything wrong with that.

  79. Rob A. says:

    Private Bendaman

  80. McGehee says:

    The Pudsucker Proxy

    (Spam word: “six”—I thought he must have been exaggerating!)

  81. zvi wolfe says:

    Polyp Friction

  82. Sean M. says:

    Buttsex and the Single Boy

  83. zvi wolfe says:

    Orifice Space

  84. BumperStickerist says:

    Reamo Williams:  The Adventure Begins

  85. Sean M. says:

    Biting the Pillow Book

  86. zvi wolfe says:

    Boning John Malkovich

  87. gail says:

    Ass Ranger in a Strange Land

  88. zvi wolfe says:

    Gayfellas

  89. JWebb says:

    “How to Suck Seed in Business without Drilling Ryan”

    “Pudsucker Proxy?” Best O’ Thread.

  90. zvi wolfe says:

    Easy (Pole) Rider

  91. gail says:

    Wild Dilberries

  92. Sean M. says:

    Pole Smokey and the Ass Bandit

  93. Sean M. says:

    Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Getting it up the Dumper

  94. BLT in CO says:

    As a side note, any lefties who claim we’re ‘protecting’ Gannon should be pointed to this thread.  The only protection possible here would be a size large trojan-enz with reservoir tip.

  95. CraigC says:

    Every time I go back to this thread, I start laughing uncontrollably and spit my “soda” through my nose.

  96. CraigC says:

    And HEY, c’mon Webb.

    The Man Who Blew Too Much?

    That Thing You Do In My Ass?

    “DIAL F FOR FELCHING??!!

    How about a little love?  Abd you know what kind of love I’m talking about, don’t you?

  97. CraigC says:

    You stud-muffin, you.

  98. The American President and the Gay Reporter

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112346/

    Adds something extra when you think about what “The American President” was about.

    Spam word: trade

  99. Sean M. says:

    Night of the Giving Head

  100. Sean M. says:

    Quest for Fire Island

Comments are closed.