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What I learned watching “Rizzoli and Isles”

Did you know that frakking pumps thousands of chemicals — I know, right? chemicals! — into the virgin earth, resulting in massive water pollution and, if the show is to be believed, the  murders of concerned and goodly environmentalists who, in a selfless effort to save the planet (and at great personal risk, so deeply runs both their convictions and their obvious selfless goodliness), uncover charlatans on private land engaging in the act of earth rape and water rape and the audacious use of thousands of chemicals?

I know, right?  Chemicals!

Thousands of them.

In the earth.

That’s why I watch that show. For the subtle lessons in social justice. And definitely not because I’m hoping Maura and Jane eventually go undercover together in a women’s prison, or are forced by some crazy plot necessity to shower together, naked, together, in a shower.  With no curtains.

Just so’s you know.

 

49 Replies to “What I learned watching “Rizzoli and Isles””

  1. McGehee says:

    Sasha Alexander does kind of have that lipstick lesbian vibe going for her, doesn’t she?

    Angie? Pure diesel.

  2. Jim in KC says:

    That’s pretty much why I watch it. The outside chance–or, more accurately, the vain hope–of watching them reenact at least part of The Martha Stewart Chronicles

  3. I watch it because I love how that dog slobbers on Tom Hanks… It just cracks my ass up.

  4. Squid says:

    I’m glad I’m not the only one revisiting Martha.

    Good times…

  5. Jeff G. says:

    I watch it because I love how that dog slobbers on Tom Hanks… It just cracks my ass up.

    You’re thinking of Tango and Cash, silly.

    And that’s not a dog. That’s Kurt Russell with old queen hair.

  6. JHoward says:

    Never saw it but don’t they need a good sarging? For the sake of popular convention?

  7. Ernst Schreiber says:

    Most of those chemicals started out in the ground, so we’re just putting them back.

  8. sdferr says:

    Cool beans about the chemicals. I just learned the fish are controlling the hydroelectric dams (and damned proud of it too), which hell! Who knew they were so smart, the fish?

  9. sdferr says:

    Equal justice under law. Equal. Yeah, right.

  10. Squid says:

    But because U.S. Attorney Ronald Machen works for Holder and because President Obama has already asserted executive privilege over the documents in question, some expected Holder’s Justice Department to balk.

    “Some expected?” Understatement of the week.

  11. William says:

    We better start buying all our oil from Brazil and the Middle East! Everyone knows that they get oil the good, ol’ fashioned way: praying to Mother Gaia while gay marrying bunnies to sun shine.

  12. Squid says:

    Q: What do you get when a bunny and sunshine have babies?
    A: Nothing! They have to adopt, same as any other garried couple!

  13. Blake says:

    I gave up on the hot chick shows when the naked shower scene didn’t happen in “Charlie’s Angels.” Or was it “Charmed?”

    Anyway, it was one of those shows with good looking gals, horrible writing, and ridiculous plots.

  14. leigh says:

    I’m apparently missing important lessons on important social problems by not watching this show. I give myself a pass though, since I’m straight and female.

  15. HvyMtlHntr says:

    I’d rather be Frakking.

  16. Blake says:

    leigh, you know shows like that always have the obligatory hot guy or two.

  17. Squid says:

    I really hope there’s a crew in Williston calling themselves the Frackin’ Toasters. Please God let it be true.

  18. McGehee says:

    leigh, you know shows like that always have the obligatory hot guy or two.

    Yup. Bruce McGill.

  19. leigh says:

    My new teevee boyfriend is Walt on Longmire. I like my dudes rugged.

  20. cranky-d says:

    The hot guys are there to get the gay men to watch. It’s a small market, but it doesn’t hurt to exploit it.

  21. DarthLevin says:

    Admiral Adama called to remind you that children may be reading this, please call it f***king

  22. motionview says:

    I had a brief mental image of Cagney and Lacey in a hot shower scene and now my ears are bleeding.

  23. Squid says:

    The trick is imagining a really hot shower, such that the steam is even more impenetrable than a Roberts analysis.

  24. McGehee says:

    MV, that’ll happen when your brain tries to get as far as possible away from your eyes, in case there’s an actual external source for the image.

  25. EBL says:

    I also hear that corporations are made out of people.

  26. cranky-d says:

    So is Soylent Green.

  27. EBL says:

    Cranky-d, Soylent Green is made out of women wearing corsets. Or less.

  28. BurtTC says:

    I don’t think it was here, but a few days ago I said something about melted butter smelling like butter, whereas melted margarine smells like chemicals. Someone replied “do you know what a chemical is?”

    Fine, be a pedant, but if you want to act like you don’t know what a “chemical smell” is, you’re no better than the Dread Justice Roberts.

  29. BurtTC says:

    And I don’t care what anybody says, fracking (or frakking) is nowhere near as interesting as it should be, given the name.

  30. Ernst Schreiber says:

    re: geoffb’s link:

    Those dinosoaurs must have been really smart to carry all that dead plant matter down to those depths with them!

  31. motionview says:

    After the producer of Law and Order made his first $50M or so from the greedy filthy advertising machine, he spent the rest of his time trying to move the 8-12% of the people into voting the right way, for the people. That’s integrity.

  32. Blake says:

    My new teevee boyfriend is Walt on Longmire. I like my dudes rugged.

    Not to mention age appropriate.

    Anyway, isn’t Longmire the show that features Deputy Chesty McBlond who, before she speaks her line, gives a 3/4 profile shot and takes a deep breath?

  33. LBascom says:

    I have a story!

    There’s a highway (198) between Visalia and Hanford California, bout 25 miles, that was two lane and lined with beautiful walnut trees. Well, both towns grew three times their size, traffic got heavy, and all the trees were getting their bark knocked off from careening cars. Especially in the winter, they get awful fog through there.

    Anyway, the decided to improve the road to a divided four lane with merge lanes and shit, a $65 million job.

    They’re three quarters done now, and haven’t worked a lick for months.

    Seems some hawks nested in the trees…

  34. happyfeet says:

    I’m not sure if it’s the Rizzoli or the Isles but one of em’s been listening to National Soros Radio

  35. newrouter says:

    Chemicals!

    dear lord they’re using dihydrogem monoxide

  36. Blake says:

    Penn and Teller on the evils of dihydrogen monoxide: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yi3erdgVVTw

  37. leigh says:

    Anyway, isn’t Longmire the show that features Deputy Chesty McBlond who, before she speaks her line, gives a 3/4 profile shot and takes a deep breath?

    That’s the one. She’s the token wise-cracking city slicker who thinks she’s all that. Lou Diamond Phillips is giving it the old college try trying to pull off being a wise Indian who straddles the worlds of the E-vil white man, the patrons at his bar, and the disgruntled Indians, every single one of whom has attitude so far, who live on the Res.

    I’m having a hard time suspending my disbelief on that one.

  38. LBascom says:

    All the Indians around here are extremely gruntled. Casino gruntled.

    There’s one tribe that had a battle with itself over just how gruntled they were.

  39. leigh says:

    Our Indians are gruntled, as well Lee. A monoploly on the Casinos and Smoke Shops tends to make one gruntled.

  40. Blake says:

    Leigh, believe it or not, I’ve only seen the show once, but I swear, the blond did the breath and profile thing at least twice. And I didn’t even watch the whole show.

  41. Ernst Schreiber says:

    dear lord they’re using dihydrogem monoxide

    That’s just the binding agent for the silicon dioxide, the nasty shit that makes all the methane leak out of the broken strata.

  42. leigh says:

    I missed the second episode, Blake. It was heavily promoted though and featured a strip club. Chesty was shown stripping out of her Deputy duds and pole-dancing. Thankfully (from my pov, at least) they haven’t revisited any nekkidness in the other episodes I’ve seen.

    Shirtless Walt is okay. Chesty in her thong? Not so much.

  43. Blake says:

    Leigh, I seem to recall Reno 911 doing a show about their deputies working in a strip club or some such. Sounds like it was classier than the Longmire strip club episode.

  44. leigh says:

    My apologizes first to mv, but I recall a long ago episode of Cagney & Lacey where the gals were dressed up like cartoonish hookers.

    I guess when you run out of plot ideas, head for the strip club. See: NYPD Blue, for instance.

  45. Ernst Schreiber says:

    Didn’t NYPD Blue start in a strip club?

  46. SDN says:

    Guys, Rizzoli and Isles is set in Boston. You were expecting anything BUT Leftists???

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