When debriefing a potentially compromised beet, the careful examiner will pay special attention to the condition of the attatched foliage, where any edge burn or crystalline damage to the cellular structure of the leaves could signal a low-grade Magnoliophyta trauma of the kind commonly found in angiosperms having undergone graduated, temperature-intense torture regimens.
Should the examiner notice such physical peculiarities in his subject, he is advised to secure the beet and immediately alert his agency contact; should, however, the examiner be in the field and fear for his safety, he is permitted to roast the subject over an open fire and then eat it with a tangy dill and mayo dipping sauce. Or, in the case of a mangel-wurzel or a Swiss chard, with butter and some white pepper.
This only adds credence to my preconceived notion that one would have to be high to willingly eat a beet.
Mmmmmmm. Beets.
Junkie.
You forgot the cilantro.
Beets should be served with a sauce made of orange juice, with a bit of brown sugar in it.
The best beets are those orange-hued ones, or the variety with stripes.
[sob] I wish I could write so beautifully. (Free Austin!)
I’m wondering exactly what is a beet? Sounds like it’s getting a fair amount of attention, but then who can blame it with all those tortured angiosperms. mmmmmm… tangy dill
Has this been sanctioned by the US Sugar Beet Cooperative?
Sure, the Taliban is down and out. The HIG cannot cause as much trouble any more. But if somebody riles the beets up…I am heading to the nearest bunker, pal!
Is Steve H. posting here now?
TV (Harry)
Your interrogation manual is clearly the sissyfied, outdated French version. The new and improved Gonzales manual indicates that recalcitrant beets should be jump-started, then beaten to a smooth, thick paste. Then spead on a cracker, with butter and white pepper.
Searing of any kind should be studiously avoided.
I would love to contribute some knowing repartee, but must admit to being completely lost by this beety blather. Well, it isn’t the first time I’ve come here and felt as though I’m trying desperately to be amused by an inside joke that nobody wants me in on. *pout*
Some backstory. Though I’m not sure it will much help.
Dammit ! This was a red pill/beet post ? I thought it was about the confirmation of Alberto Gonzales as AG. You know, torture regimens, roasting, all that. Boy, is there egg on my face.
But I still stand by my butter and white pepper remark. ‘Cause that’s good with eggs, too. No, seariously.
Um, thanks?
You OK Jeff?
Beets are the preferred sidedish for grilled dolphin.
See how it’s done, insomni ? Grilled dolphin – not seared.
And I recommend a nice, crisp Pinot Grigio * with that dolphin, Webb.
*Damn censor won’t let me link h**p://www.tastings.com/scout_wine.lasso?id=112229
Nah, Joe but you go ahead. I have no Pinot envy.
Further examine the foliage for discrete fine necrotic zones in a randomly dispersed pattern – often difficult to see with the naked eye, this may require a hand lens. Presence of these spots is initial evidence of chemical poisoning with pesticides. Immediately dump beet in toxic waste drum for disposal and evacuate to UN approved chemical decontamination facility prior to Medevac flight to a Greenpeace approved safe zone. Avoid contact with other personnel, doorknobs or intimate body parts. Submit voucher for extra hazardous duty pay.
Or, on the hand of other, is okay to be put beet in potato soup right now real soon.