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21st century housekeeping

I meant to post about the Obama fulfilled promise of “necessarily skyrocketing” electricity prices the other day but I got sidetracked by a delightfully vocal baby given to exploring his emotional range — largely through incessant incessant crying.

I forgive him, though. He’s at that age.

At any rate, Doug Ross already put together a nice post on the subject, so it’s probably best I just link his work and spend my time doing something less redundant. Like, for instance, figuring out how I’m going to get a plastic gerbil out of the rectum of a hammered armadillo passed out elbow-deep in a watering can recently filled with cinnamon whiskey — and who I just found out maxed out one of my credit cards on PPV porn.

Because evidently the free internet stuff is just too “hit or miss” for such a connoisseur.

Doug Ross should be frickin’ thankful that he doesn’t have my problems.

35 Replies to “21st century housekeeping”

  1. leigh says:

    Tanner may have colic . You’re on your own with the ornery ‘dillo.

  2. Darleen says:

    one word …

    swaddling

  3. Darleen says:

    might work on Tanner, too

  4. leigh says:

    My youngest was fussy. Swaddling worked with him. And rocking. Lots and lots of rocking.

  5. McGehee says:

    Leave the gerbil where it is and feed the armadillo a plate of burritos spiced with that bhut jolokia pepper. Either the gerbil emerges, or it vaporizes in place — and you won’t have to go through a half a case of hand sanitizer afterward.

    Of course, cleaning the walls and ceiling might be a chore, but there won’t be a second time…

  6. LBascom says:

    Perhaps cod liver oil? Maybe followed with a bucket of beans and some Exlax? Just be sure to keep the little bugger pointed in a safe direction.

    Tanner is probably just establishing the territory. Setting the pecking order, as it were. Don’t worry, he’ll switch tactics when he learns to talk.

  7. DarthLevin says:

    I have a cure for colic that is absolutely guaranteed to work, only $999.99. Absolutely guaranteed to work in 12 weeks or double your money back.

  8. LBascom says:

    I think I better get on the ball and buy a generator like I’ve been threatening for years. I do believe rolling blackouts are coming to us all, I’d hate to lose that freezer full of meat.

  9. leigh says:

    We end up using our generator at least once a year, generally when we’ve had an ice storm. It’s paid for itself many times over.

  10. newrouter says:

    baracky’s mo early on

    The race to the top of Mount Tantalus pitted the “Choomwagon” against another friend’s Toyota. Obama was in the Toyota. The Choomwagon made it to the top first. When the other car didn’t show up, those in the Choomwagon drove back down to find them. Here’s how Maraniss describes what happened next:

    “On the way down, they saw a figure who appeared to be staggering up the road. It was Barry Obama. What was going on? As they drew closer, they noticed that he was laughing so hard he could barely stand up.”

    His friend had rolled the car. Fortunately, nobody was hurt. And, amazingly, they avoided trouble by leaving the driver alone to deal with the police by claiming it was just an unfortunate “mishap.”

    link

  11. newrouter says:

    from stoner nation to cherokee nation:

    A second law school, the University of Pennsylvania, has touted Elizabeth Warren as a minority faculty member in an official school publication, according to an online document obtained by the Globe.

    The University of Pennsylvania, where Warren taught at the law school from 1987 through 1995, listed her as a minority in a “Minority Equity Report” posted on its website. The report, published in 2005, well after her departure, included her as the winner of a faculty award in 1994. Her name was highlighted in bold, the designation used for minorities in the report.

    link

  12. Ernst Schreiber says:

    Cinnamon flavored whiskey?!?!?

  13. newrouter says:

    if baracky had a niece

    Bacon Lover In Piggly Wiggly Rampage
    Busted shoplifter spit on, punched, pepper-sprayed Georgia workers

    link

  14. palaeomerus says:

    Internet PPV Porn! You’ll rent the whole movie and use only ten minutes of it! If that!

    Or whatever.

  15. palaeomerus says:

    I saw a double feature of Battleship and Men In Black III today.

    Battleship was much better than I expected. I’d say it’s a C+/ B- movie. Kind of stupid and corny but at the same time interesting. I note that the aliens were REMARKABLY restrained killing only what they thought was a threat and mainly taking a defensive posture apart from tying to cut off road access to an island and then capture a satellite communications array in Hawaii. The movie wasn’t what I’d call good but it was far from the laughable piece of crap that people seem to be portraying it as. I thought it was a bit better than Wrath of the Titans. Still I wonder if the whole point of the movie was that the aliens were not bad guys but visitors thought they had been invited, who lost a ship to a satellite collision, feared they had been shot at or hit a mine, tried to secure a means of calling for help, and kept the presumed hostile Earth inhabitants at bay for as long as they could with a desire to minimize damage to them if possible. Also there seemed to be a bit of a skinny gold suit aliens being “nicer” than the big silver suit aliens. Anyway it’s a weird movie but I’d wait for a rental or for it to come on cable.

    Men in Black has Tommy Lee Jones looking old and Will Smith looking older. Effort is made to show the time that has passed between movies. It has the usual weirdo alien bad guy disguised as a human, a macguffin for every one to chase, an existential threat to Earth (carried out in a hilariously lame and low key way), and a silly brutal interrogation of aliens routine. The big theme this time is time travel. Most of the jokes are pretty funny in the basic “how odd” way that the movies specialize in. I’d say it’s worth seeing if you liked the first two. MIB was sort of the successor to Ghostbusters. Now it too is feeling its age. I wonder what the next GB like genre comedy will be?

  16. motionview says:

    Charlie Cook uses the widely maligned NBC News / WSJ poll

    Republicans should be concerned that 29 percent of respondents identified themselves as Democrats, because only 22 percent of them said they were Republican. When independents are pushed to lean one way or the other, Democrats pick up another 15 points and Republicans gain 14 points. The result is 44 percent identifying themselves or leaning Democrat compared with 36 percent identifying as or leaning toward the GOP; 11 percent identified themselves as pure independents, not leaning either way; and another 4 percent either refused to say or didn’t know, bringing the total in the middle to 15 percent.

    to argue that the current partisan breakdown is 44/36/15 and this will lead to many close races in the fall.
    Utter and complete bullshit. Cooke neglects to mention that this is a sampling of all adults, not even registered voters, much less likely voters. Rasmussen samples 40, 000 likely voters every month to get a high reliability likely voter partisan breakdown of 36.4 / 35.1 / 28.5 D/R/I. Which makes that poll (and Cook) worthless as is. The polls can be run through a de-distortion process to get some useful information.

    Cook is not fixable.

  17. newrouter says:

    stoner nation update:

    — Obama and his crew enjoyed what they called “roof hits,” smoking pot inside a car with all the windows rolled up to maximize the amount of smoke they inhaled.

    Why did Obama put his dog on the roof of the car? So it wouldn’t get stoned.

    Speaking only for myself, I’m fine with having a president who used to get blazed out of his mind. It’s just funny that the same people who are scrambling to defend him were, shall we say, somewhat less accepting of Bush’s youthful indiscretions.

    And as Mike Riggs at Reason points out: “Barack Obama Punishes People for Getting High; It Used to Be, He Punished Them for Not Getting High Enough.”

    Also, everybody reading this is a racist. Yes, even you.

    Read more:

    link

  18. newrouter says:

    we be baked nation

  19. newrouter says:

    no “stoner nation 2012” with the O insert

  20. Ernst Schreiber says:

    If you think about it motionview, that poll of adults probably accurately captures partisans sympathies. It’s long been known that Republicans are more likely to actually show up on election day. Note how close Rassmussen’s likely voters correlates to NBC’s adults.

    This is why Democrats have to scare their voters into showing up with some variation of Republicans want to do something bad, and they will too if you don’t vote!.

    That 15% of Adults? Mostly non-voters.

  21. TmjUtah says:

    It’s FRRRRRIIIIIDDDDAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!

    Armadillos. Like peccadilloes, but with shells. And hammered.

  22. motionview says:

    I agree Ernst that it may capture partisan trends of all adults and that likely voters are much more conservative . The problem I have is that polls like NBC’s are presented as “if the election were held today” in order to set the expectation that it is Obama by 4. They have no arguments, it is all meme-driving.

  23. Pablo says:

    Simethicone might be your very best friend. Just sayin’. It worked for me.

  24. happyfeet says:

    simethicone

    robots

    please report

    please report to the DANCE FLOOR!!!

  25. happyfeet says:

    oh yeah that is the smoov stuff my brother happy

    you dig?

    oh yeah

  26. Caecus Caesar says:

    *thhhhhhhhhwp*

  27. Caecus Caesar says:

    *pwahhhhhhhhh*

  28. happyfeet says:

    here this is kooky it’s that film where the Brad Pitt is fearful fearful it will be perceived as anti-obama

    it has no womens in it?

    Not in any for reals roles anyway.

  29. McGehee says:

    Which makes that poll (and Cook) worthless as is.

    Worthless as an accurate description of the landscape, but far from useless to, er, useless idiots like Cook. They oversample Democrats to try to stave off the preference cascade.

    It isn’t working.

  30. motionview says:

    Here’s a pre-emptive strike against Dinesh D’Souza’s movie about Obama’s Dream from His Father (anti-colonialism) by the WH Obama campaign DNC campaign surrogate New York Times. Note the citing of so many helpful conservatives.

  31. B Moe says:

    Joe Ricketts is the dude that owns Wrigley Stadium, right?

  32. leigh says:

    Yes.

  33. Swen says:

    Maxxed a card on PPV porn, eh? Yeah, sure, blame it on the ‘dillo, that’s always worked for me! ‘8D

  34. palaeomerus says:

    Do they have armadillos in Colorado? I saw some marmots when I was there.

  35. LBascom says:

    palaeomerus, shhh. He’s undocumented

Comments are closed.