me: “Looks like your boy could be at it again, hood.”*
hood:
me: “Obstructing the progress of a person of color…”*
hood:
me: “…the first ever African-American woman to be nominated for Secretary of State.”*
hood:
me: “Probably not racially motivated, though…”*
hood:
me: “The Senator’s showy desire to hold up Dr. Rice’s confirmation, I mean.”*
hood:
me: “Because Barbara Boxer is in it on, too…”
hood:
me: “…and Teddy Kennedy…”
hood:
me: “…and John Kerry.”
hood:
me: “And none of those folks were ever Grand Kleagles, so…”
hood:
me: “Still. Kind of politically tone deaf of the Dems to have Senator Death to the Mud Peoples involved in all this, wouldn’t you say?”
hood:
me: “Given the Senator’s chequered history on racial matters…?”
hood:
me: “…like, say, his predilection for burning crosses –”
hood:
me” “– and negroes swinging from tree branches…?”*
hood:
me: “Oh well. If the MSM is willing to forgive the honorable Senator his segregationist past and leave his motives unexamined, then who am I to raise a fuss, right?”*
hood:
me:
hood:
me: “So I take it from your silence that you’re planning on staying out of this one, then.”
hood: “You bet your Hebe ass I am, brother. Got a son who’s trying to get into Stanford. And I’m racist—not completely insane.”
Man, that hood … has it got a sister?
Ho ho, that’s a good one. *Nnnnnnt*
The hood speaks! Damn, what a cracked out gravelly voice. My ears hurt.
I looked this morning because after watching the news I knew the hood would be back today…and it wasn’t here…glad I checked back!
For Robert this is like killing three tasty birds with one tiny pebble. He gets an hour to posture and preen in the media spotlight, he’s obstructing a Republican, and best of all she’s a black female.
His days jus’ don’t get no better’n that. Hal-e-lujah!
His son is applying to Stanford? *sniff* I remember when he was just a little hanky… *blows nose noisily*…
Right….. But isn’t it “Heeb”??
I think the spelling is variable.
It’s the thought that counts, Chad.
Well normally this would be “politically tone deaf” even for Dems, but not when dealing with your uppity …. uh, nominees.
Question: Do members of the Democratic Black Caucus just think of Byrd as another bro from the hood?
What I’d like to know is who are the electronic geniuses that perfected the slobber proof microphone that Byrd uses?
Top secret stuff would be my guess.
My Coversation with W’s coke straw
me: Hey Mr. Straw, how’s life treating you these days?
Mr. Straw: Well, it’s not as exciting as it was in the seventies.
me: Really? That’s a shame.
MS: What can I say, my old buddy found God and tossed me away.
me: People change
MS: That’s true, but I was pretty tight with the guy. We went everywhere
together. Now he can’t even mention my name.
me: You shouldn’t take it personally. I don’t talk to people I knew a long
time ago, but I still have friends.
MS: What are you saying?
me: ‘W’ may have put you aside but he’s certainly not alone. In fact he
has new companions but they are prescribed by doctors. You know, just like
Elvis.
MS: That explains things. I just knew he couldn’t do this all by himself.
me: It hard work bringing freedom to the needy.
MS: Almost as hard as getting W to pay attention to things for more than
two minutes.
Both: Ha Ha Ha
me: Better living through chemistry!
MS: You betcha! Hey, could I offer you a…
me: No man, that dummy dust will kill you!
MS: That’s cool. Say, you wouldn’t happen to know Tara Reid’s number?
me: No, but you may want to try getting in touch with Lindsey Lohan, she may
be able to help you.
hood:
Mr. Shaver – very soon you will have your butt shaved.
Oh, I get it! It’s W’s coke straw because W used to drink Coke througha straw, even though he’s from Texas where everybody drinks Dr. Pepper! LOL! What a hypocrite, claiming to be a Texan but not drinking Dr. Pepper!
What do Egyptians and Neo-con’s have in common? They both spend a lot of time in d’Nile.
Bud, no offense, but you’re having trouble pitching your posts at the proper level of sophistication for PW’s readership.
You need to work on tone; for one thing, the coke straw shouldn’t be nearly so chatty. Also, your Nile River joke is musty and clichéd, and not in a witty, knowingly trans-ontological way, but rather in a dull uncreative way.
This sort of humor is harder than it seems. Jeff just makes it look easy, like Paul McCartney writing a catchy ballad or Michael Jordan sinking a fadeaway jumper.
Thanks Jeff B.!
I keep your suggestions in mind when I write my novel:”I Was A Neo-Con Blog Fanboy.”
hood: “You might want to change that title to something like, I Was So Desperate For Attention That I Took To Hanging Out in Places Where Neo-Con Fanboys Hang Out, Hoping That My Minor Exchanges With Those Hardy, Chiseled Warmongers Would Fill The Void In My Life Brought On By The Sudden Disappearance From Public Life of That Hunky John Edwards.
“Or not. Just a suggestion.”
I would say I thought that was funny, but then I would only be proving that I was a Neo-Con Fanboy.
Damn, wish I had read Jeff B.’s comment before I laughed. Now I am a Neo-Con fanboy.
That’s for the warning about the neo-con’s, Bud. To think I almost fell for them and their Elders of Zion conspiracy. It was close, just one more essay and I might have let them take over the world.
NARF!
I claim no affiliation with this site. Robert Byrd just happens to be on my “People to kill” list.
I’d like to paraphrase the great Bud Shaver if I may:
It hard work bringing freedom to the needy.
It hard work ridding the world of racists.
It hard work exposing people who name highways, toll booths, power plants, sidewalks, drinking fountains and fire hydrants after themselves while they’re stll alive. Examples: The Robert C. Byrd Center for Excessive Salivation Studies, The Robert C. Byrd Man-Diaper Exchange Program
It just hard work.
It very hard work.
Al, I could sell you some spare copies of the letter “s”.
And I’ve got some apostrophies, too. If you think you need them.
Thanks for the offer guys, but when paraphrasing the great Bud Shaver, I like to stay true to his writing style and as you can see he can’t be bothered with small unimportant details like s’s or apostrophic nuance.
And now I fear that you already knew all this and the three of us have just collaborated in sucking the marrow of Bud-ridicule out of this once golden opportunity.
Oh and Willow, check your Big Book of Plurals on “apostrophies”. The Grammastapo is very strict on spelling.
You know, it looks bad for the Democrats that they embrace Byrd this way, but it looks worse for my fellow West Virginians who keep re-electing him!
budshaver get in touch with me immediately
We accepted to pay for an extremely superior functioning shaver. And it works worthy.When i like its ergonomic design. very useful andshaveso excellent.