- “Hi, I’m Richard Gere, and I’m speaking for the entire world. Luxembourg? Barely even a country.”
- “Hi, I’m Richard Gere, and I’m speaking for the entire world. Try the grilled swordfish with cilantro-lime butter. Trust us on this.”
- “Hi, I’m Richard Gere, and I’m speaking for the entire world. Dr. T & the Women has never gotten the critical respect it so richly deserves. I mean, it’s Robert Altman, for Chrissakes…!”
- “Hi, I’m Richard Gere, and I’m speaking for the entire world. Please don’t touch that.”
- “Hi, I’m Richard Gere, and I’m speaking for the entire world. Fucking while on Ecstasy? Like discovering an entirely new pleasure hole lined with mink and leaking gold bullion”
- “Hi, I’m Richard Gere, and I’m speaking for the entire world. San Dimas High School football rules!”
- “Hi, I’m Richard Gere, and I’m speaking for the entire world. Pass us the salt, please, would you?”
- “Hi, I’m Richard Gere, and I’m speaking for the entire world. Never, ever, try putting a gerbil up your ass.”
- “Hi, I’m Richard Gere, and I’m speaking for the entire world. Your suspicions are correct. Nobody really likes watching soccer. It’s just, well, what the hell else are you going to do in, like, Uruguay – pet a donkey?”
*background here
(h/t small dead animals)
****
Update: See Malkin (via Mac, who continues to dig into the Washington State governor’s race like Michael Moore into a 2lb bag of hot pork rinds.)
“Computers. . .”
“Hi, I’m Richard Gere, and I’m speaking for the entire world. Who exactly I’m speaking to I haven’t a clue…”
I am Richard Gere and I am speaking on behalf of the whole world…
Where is everybody? What Leif Garrett is holding a press conference too and everybody is there? Fuck.
“Hi, I’m Joe Lemyre, and I’m speaking for the entire world. Nobody gives a damn what you think of the Palestinian vote, or Israel, or anything else Gere, you pompous Hollywood asswipe.”
Although these babes think you’re hot.
Well we know that Lief Garrett wasn’t answering his fan mail from future bloggers.
Somehow, whenever I type “blogger”, I now picture Jeff as one of the Knights who say nee, howling “Aaaaugh! Stop saying the word!”
Jeff, can you explain Dr. T and The Women? I thought it sucked right out loud and the end was just weird. Perhaps there was something that I missed that would have redeemed it? Okay, a lot of somethings that I missed that would have redeemed it? It seemed to self-destruct there at the end. And I don’t remember if there was a plot to move it along.
Wow! A Bill and Ted reference!
Indeed, TallDave.
Ana—haven’t seen it. But Richard Gere speaks on behalf of the world when he says he has. And it rocks.
On behalf of the entire world, I’d just like to say, “Richard Gere, get off our planet!”
Yikes! Gerbil alert! Pretty soon you’ll be adding to Robin’s vocabulary.
At least Gere didn’t try to channel the audience’s energy like he did at the Oscars a couple of years back.
As the Dali Lama told Gere when viewing his (Gere’s) photographs of Tibet, “Don’t quit your day job.”
Shoulda been, “Hi, I’m Richard Gere, and I’m speaking for all of Uranus.”
MC, alas, I knew about the gerbil.
Which reminds me of just how unfunny the Wayans brothers are these days. Does anyone but me recall their live Super Bowl halftime show where the two gay convict film reviewers did their bit with the joke about Richard Gere getting married with the punchline “And you should have seen the gerbil in a wedding dress”?
Just me, huh?
How can anyone hope to argue with Richard Gere? Richard Gere! Anyone who has the clarity and presence of mind to think of inserting a gerbil into his rectum…I mean, how is this man not already Supreme Overlord of the Known Universe? In which case, I guess, he WOULD be speaking for the whole world. It all kinda comes together that way.
Robin – No Way(ans)! I’m sooooo glad I never got that viz about gerbil in the wedding dress – I mean, is there a lexical term for gerbil travels with a wedding dress versus gerbil without?
Next thing you know the Wayans will be visiting Martha.
(How the hell did I get “Auburn defense” for the spam buster? – Jeff magic that’s how!)
I admire your restraint in waiting until Number 8 to break out the gerbil reference.
Click here for some nice quotes related to Gere’s commercial, such as:
Hi, I’m Richard Gere, and I’m speaking for the entire world. Mothman Prophecies? Not just “based on a true story”. Really happened. Every scene, every word. Geez, I really, really, really wanted to pick up that telephone. Still get goosebumps thinking about it.
“Hi, I’m Richard Gere and I’m speaking for the whole world. Armageddon! Armageddon!”
Mmmmm, red hot pork rinds.
Hi, I’m Fluffy, and I’m speaking for the entire gerbil population. Get some help!
“San Dimas”?
Oh man, I wonder what Sigmund Frood will make of that!
You mean pork rinds come in hot too?
Where the hell have I been?
Robin, your kidding about the half time thing, right?
Well, I missed that Dec. 16th post. But here is a some slang that someone left on my site, and since yall are all so aware of any and all sexual slang you can tell me the meaning of “pearls.”
Not sure RWS, but I think it has something to do with clams and irritant/stimulants.
RWS – Well there’s this, which doesn’t help much, but is certainly pearlilating. There’s the ZZ Top song that suffuses pearls with milkshakes, a world of pearl, er, fun here, which of course leads to not much left to the imagination.
Seems like my fear recently expressed about a more liquid outcome relating to Robin’s expanding vocabulary is realized after all.
I vaguely remember electing Gere to represent me to the rest of the world sometime shortly after seeing American Gigolo in the theatre. Anyway, I’m almost certain that he does speak for all of us.
RWS, kidding about what?
Keenan Ivory Wayans went from “I’m Gonna Get You, Sucka!” to “White Chicks”. I speak for the entire world when I say that’s a shame.
How does one recover professionally from the ass gerbil scenario? I have never understood how anyone after being rushed to a hospital with a living creature in his ass can ever face the public again. Gere has some of the most talented and persistent PR people in the business. EVERYONE over 30 remembers, Richard. How the FUCK do you get us to go to your movies?
Rest of the World to Richard Gere:
Oh, did you just say something? Sorry, we’re too busy watching the soccer, can you get back to us when the match has finished? Thanks awfully.
MC, never do that to me again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
sick and yucky!!!
Sparkle–Did you *actually* follow that link???! You’re going to have to disinfect. I saw it and thought “no way in hell.”
RWS: you can tell me the meaning of “pearls.â€Â
the quotes about Sheikh Tamimi are from 1994 or before! I am the son of a Holocaust survivor who as a child had to endure pains in Dachau. I know from what I was taught that the way to prevent future holocausts is to actively fight to change things, and not just to watch and complain. Thus, when Richard Gere and OneVoice (of which I am a part of) work to bring nationalist hawks in to the conflict resolution fore and succeed in getting them to be a part of a move towards democratization, it is a positive step for all except the extremists. Keep in mind that Sheikh Tamimi is urging Palestinians to vote in direct contravention to Hamas’s call to boycott the elections! This whole campaign is designed to isolate those who want to turn to boycott the elections. Does no one realize the value of this? Go to OneVoiceMovement.org to understand the plan.
“Hi, we’re the entire world except for Richard Gere, and we’re speaking on behalf of ourselves. Fuck off, Gere.”