Ever stay up late at night watching Steve McQueen movies and slicing through the stems from a crate of wild lettuce plants (Lactuca virosa)—carefully extracting and bottling the precious stem milk, which you then dry into lactucarium, sprinkle on top of homemade oatmeal raisin cookies, and later pass out to the neighborhood kids whenever your gutters need clearing or your lawn de-weeding?
Or is that considered, y’know…too ancient Egyptian’…?
Ah, finally a believable explanation for the pyramids.
Jeff, man. Sometimes you are weird.
Okay, okay. I went back and researched, sheesh this is a high maintenance humor bit. So the Egyptians were the first ones to get fucked up on the job huh? Meh, that’s always been the problem with construction workers and manual labor. Friggin stoners.
I think I did do that once. I’m pretty sure it was in 1987.
Hey, Steve McQueen is my schtick.
Is lactucarium illegal? Are our nation’s laws—dare I say it—lactucarium-intolerant?
It is said that the effect of eating too much lettuce is “soporific.” I have never felt sleepy after eating lettuces; but then I am not a rabbit. They certainly had a very soporific effect upon the Flopsy Bunnies!–Beatrix Potter
Hmmmmm. That caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland and now the Flopsy Bunnies. And we wonder why drugs are so appealing to our children.
Walk like an Egyptian….
Hmmm. If I were an Egyptian who had just drunk milk that came from lettuce, I wouldn’t walk, I’d run to the nearest pyramid-shaped outhouse.