…So I’m over on Tech Central this morning reading the bowdlerized version of Radley Balko’s fine essay, “A Day at the Protests” (excised from the original is some earthy language and some additionally vivid description of heavyset, hairy sweatsops in bursting-at-the-seams ponchos, so far as I can tell), when I notice a comments section.

Just to refresh your memories, Radley — in the course of pointing out the many obvious ironies of the rally — noted that “these kids were railing against the one institution (free trade) that could remedy the Third World poverty and desolation they’re allegedly so concerned about.” For his trouble, he was offered this rejoinder by one of the patchouli-n-puppethead crowd in the comments thread:

Date: 04/30/2002

Name: Dan Kelley

Email: rocyahsoul@yahoo.com

Subject: George Bush Wants You Dead

Message: hey Radley,

read your article and posting…

Your presumption that free trade is the means to deliver the downtrodden from their unenviable condition is sadly misguided.

Also, you stated that you were “a bit off” when you were speaking to that girl about the National Geographic lady and you weren’t wrong about that. The U.S. government was the largest financial contributor to the Taliban in 2001. The Taliban was brought to power by the U.S. to accomplish certain regional goals and only lost their value to the U.S. government when they on ethical grounds refused outright to allow big oil to build a pipeline through their impoverished nation. So, I urge you to get the facts straight before you go claiming the U.S. has freed this woman. Women and children are being raped with regularity by the occupying Northern forces. For you to claim that that woman is now free is BLASPHEMY! She is as oppressed as she has ever been and more so now that she has the worlds most capable military to answer to should she step out of line. She certainly wouldn’t want to think the wrong thing, state the wrong opinion or be aligned with anyone who does because she could end up indefinitely detained at Guantanamo. Please note she could befall such a circumstance without even having taken ANY action, simply for having an opinion or an association. Also note detainment at gtmo is likely better than the conditions she lives in now. I guess freedom doesn’t mean what it used to. In any case, here’s a website that should remove your state issue blindfold. Beware it’s far more comfortable living dumb to what’s going on around you than after learning what you’ll learn here…

http://geocities.com/gwbwyd

Here’s the intelligible protest you’ve been avoiding.

The acronym in the address of this site stands for George Bush Wants You Dead.

enjoy,

Dan

Ugh.

Well, you know me — I can never resist responding to such tripe. So here’t goes:

Date: 05/01/2002

Name: Jeff G.

Email: jegoldst@creatical.com

Subject: Re: George Bush Wants You Dead

Message: Dan–

So, because you can find support for your idiotic and paranoid global non-sequiturs on a website, they must necessarily be true, then? Brilliant! Trenchant! I’ve been living in blindness for far too long…!

Still, one detail about your thesis bothers me: you forget to mention what role the unprovoked 9-11 terror attacks (perpetrated, you’ll remember, by crazed, murderous Islamokazis and not, much to Ted Rall’s or Michael Moore’s dismay, a secret cabal of Unocal operatives in black helicopters) played in our decision to dismantle the Taliban and send the Al-Qaeda bugs scurrying behind rocks and into caves in their desperate attempts to avoid thermobaric suntans. (Or maybe you think Bush and Mossad orchestrated the whole thing?)

Anyway, your wannabe-profound rantings are typical of those who Presume To See The Real Truth, so it’s not surprising that you begin your response by asserting that Balko’s “presumption that free trade is the means to deliver the downtrodden from their unenviable condition is sadly misguided” — but then you neglect to offer a shred of evidence to the contrary.

And pointing me to a silly website that rehashes the same unsubstantiated claims you just parroted ain’t gonna cut it this time, Danny Boy…

Well, I won’t fall prey to the same shoddy tactics of argument. Here, then, is the link to a recent working paper from the National Bureau of Economic Research, a “private, non-profit, nonpartisan research organization dedicated to promoting a greater understanding of how the economy works.” The NBER’s research “is conducted by more than 600 university professors around the country, the leading scholars in their fields.”

The NBER’s research finds (not surprisingly) that the best way to keep poor nations poor is to segregate them from the world economy.

So there you have it: On the one hand, rigorous research by a non-partisan organization dedicated to economic instruction. On the other hand, puppet masks and lame slogans shouted by Starbucks’ defilers.

Best,

protein wisdom